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At my FSIL/FBIL wedding they had a semi head table- it was round but they sat with just the best man and maid of honor and flower girl. I, as the girlfriend of the best man had to sit with my future in laws and a bunch of other adults I didn't know. It was super awkward.
I am not really a fan of bringing a date and then being forced not to sit with said date, especially if you do not know anyone else at the wedding. I also find the traditional head table awkward in that you can only talk to the two people next to you, and everyone stares at you while you eat!
I'm sorry to those who like head tables, just my opinion.
As a former member of a wedding party, it stinks when you can't sit with your date.
As a bride, I don't want my wedding party's random (or even not-so-random) dates at my head table.
So the only thing I could think of to make everyone happy was a sweetheart table. :)
I've done both, head table with FI, and on my own.
Here is what we're doing (old thread, my floor plan is part way down the post)
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/did-anyone-haveanyone-having-a-big-kings-tablefamily-table
It's called a King's table I guess, and I just love the idea. We're having a huge one and seating 26 at ours, wedding party, their guests and our parents and grandparents all at one big table with our guests surrounding us.
Because a head table is "the norm" and is in my opinion the "worst" (even though it's not the end of the world and typically expected) anything you do alternatively is for you -do what you feel best suits you and your FI and your wedding party the best and will give everyone the best experience :)
I still like the idea of a head table. I like all the bridal party sitting together. In terms of not sitting with dates its just for a dinner after that people are free to do what they want.
Every wedding I have ever been to has had one.. We contomplated having a sweetheart table but after talking to our wedding party we decided to stick to the head table idea.
I hate them, mostly because my FI was the best man at his friend's wedding and I was excluded from their HT. It was especially annoying because at some point during their wedding planning I was asked where I would prefer to sit, and of course said I wanted to sit with FI. They ended up excluding all dates from the head table and I didn't find out til I got there. What jerks.
I also don't like them because the two people at the ends of the table get a very raw deal. If they don't have a date they are forced to chat to the one, single person that happens to be sitting next to them, and if they don't like that person they are pretty much screwed. This also happened to somebody at the wedding I mentioned above, and he hated it.
All in all, FI and I have decided to scrap the HT idea. We are still not set on what exactly we will do, but I believe our current idea is to have a long, rectangular table, seat FI and I in the middle of the table on one side, and then arrange our bridal party AND their dates all the way around the table with us. That way everyone has a much more comfortable selection of chatting buddies, and no one is separated from their date. We will also arrange the table so that everyone will be next to or accross from somebody they know.
I've only been in one wedding that had a HT. My fiance didn't know a SOUL (this was a friend of mine from high school in another state), and he got seated with the groom's dad's buddies from dental school. SUCKAGE.
I don't like head tables. Actually, I think it's safe to say that I hate them. Both FI and I have been in weddings with head tables and not once were we able to sit together. It sucks, I don't care what anyone says. So what if we're "only seperated for dinner", if I'm attending a wedding with my FI/SO/DH, I expect to sit with him. I also don't see how they are functional in any way. It's impossible to have a conversation with anyone besides those sitting next to you.
We're sitting at a standard round banquet table with both sets of parents and FI's brother (best man) and SIL. Our bridal party will be seated (with their dates) at the next table over.
I totally hate head tables! It was the one thing I caved into my mother about at my first wedding and aside from marrying a jackass... it's my biggest regret!
Most of the weddings I've coordinated have either sat at a guest table with some of the bridal party or family or have done sweetheart tables.
I'm fairly certain FI & I will be seated at a sweetheart. We've got loads of parents and too much drama for my tastes. It may be our bridal party and us or something, but definitely no line up table :)
Good luck!
I'm going with a head table. So many people will know so many other people at the wedding it won't even matter, and everyone always gets up and mingles. They will be separated for like 2 out of 8 hours (yeah we party long and hard at weddings here but the dates will still be surrounded by friends so it's not a big deal for ours.
@MrsGolden2Bee: I'm with you on this one. Whilst the idea of a sweetheart table is cute, FI and I would hate it. We don't want everyone staring at us and by putting just the two of us at the table, we feel we'd be under some big spotlight.
We're having a fairly small wedding party (6 people total, not including us) and it will actually be a lot of fun having them all up at the head table with us. As far as their dates, they will all be seated with other family members (all but 2 are family) and the two who aren't family are close enough to be considered family. Their husbands and children will be seated with friends so they won't be any awkwardness.
Well, in both my brothers wedding there was a head table, I just hated that the bridal gets thier food first, then everyone sits there staring at you eat... Weird. I didn't have a date because I was in high school and had no BF at the time. What my fiance and I have decided to do is a U shaped set up. My wedding is small enough we can do this but basically we will sit in the middle with our bridal party and their plus ones and from their we haven't really decided. But that way we don't have all eyes on us. That's just too weird for me. But in the same token, if you like a head table, do it. It's your day.
When DH and I were engaged, he was a groomsman in one of his friend's wedding. He was sitting at the head table while the couple had put me at another table with some people I had never met, because my DH's ex was sitting at a table with the only people I knew at their wedding. I didn't mind the ex and manage to sit with the people I knew, but it was still weird for me because I didn't know them that much and never without DH with me...
Anyway all that to say that I'm not a fan..
i've never been in a wedding, but every wedding ive been to has had a head table. We are probably going to have one at our wedding too. However, everyone in our wedding party is a couple, (FI's sister and BIL, my sister and BIL, my sister and her bf, ) except for my other sister who is single, and my man of honor who is also single. If they end up with a partner before the wedding i dunno what i'll do, but so far i don't have to worry about it.
I don't like head tables at all. I don't like having to separate the wedding party from their dates. So we are going with a sweetheart table and letting our wedding party sit with their dates at round tables on both sides of our sweetheart table.
dont like head tables at all. most people I have talked to dont like them either. do a sweatheart. Have some time with hubby and let everyone else sit where and with whomever they want. Thats my opinion!
We did a sweetheart table. All our wedding party had dates and I didn't want them to not sit with them so we had our table and everyone else sat with their dates, it worked out well and everyone was happy
i personally love the idea of a head table. it kind of makes you the center of attention, and who doesnt wan to sit and eat with the wedding party?
just my opinion though! We had a head table but it ended up just being me my husband, MOH and her boyfriend and the best man and his wife. I watned my entire bridal party up there but i didnt wan to split them up from their dates - if they all had dates i would have put them AND their dates up there but not all of them did, so it would have looked awkward.
Personally I think sweethart tables are dumb. I rather do a head table. Have been both a wedding at head table and guest of someone who was in the wedding not at head table. I look at this way if you are going with someone who is a member of the bridal party suck it up, it is only for dinner. You usually know in advance that you for the most part will not be able to be around your date if they are in the wedding party or you are in the wedding party with a date.
I've both sat at a head table and had my husband sit at one when I was also a guest at the wedding. I hated sitting there. It's hard to talk to people b/c you're faced away from people, and I didn't like being on display while eating. My husband was at the table of all of the head tables dates. He's pretty social so he was fine, but I ended up just joining his table when the dancing started.
When my husband was at the head table I was seated with friends so it was ok, but I still thought it was weird not having him next to me. He ended up joining our table after the dinner too. I realize that you're there for the bride and groom, but I don't feel like that means you shouldn't get to have fun and sit by people you like at the wedding.
We did a sweet heart table. I'm glad we did, it was so nice having that time alone with my husband right after we got married.
We are having a head table but only for Bride, groom, his parents, my parents and the MOH and best man, the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen will sit at a regular table. I used to think I liked sweetheart tables until I attended two weddings with them realized that two things
I'm thinking about doing something other than a head table, mainly because nearly all of the people in our wedding party are married, and I would hate to not sit next to my man the whole time! I'm thinking possibly my sister/her husband and the FI's brother/girlfriend. I don't know....
We're doing a head table but only with our kids. It will be our first table as an "official" family and we didn't want to share that. We have our bridal party hosting other tables so they get to sit with their dates.
I realized that's probably not the norm (sitting with your kids) but that's how we're doing it.
At my cousin's wedding, they did a head table and the bridal party didn't like it. I kept hearing how it was awkward to eat with everyone staring at them.
the last wedding i was in the wedding party sat at our own table with our dates. this was nice how it worked out numbers wise. (there were some family members in the wedding party that ended up sitting with their respective families). i think we are going to sit with our parents and just seat our wedding party with the other guests. more fun for them, and it doesn't feel so hierarchical.
I just went to a wedding where they had a sweetheart table. I always thought those were awkward, but it really allowed them to have some alone time before everyone started talking to them. People would come up every once in a while, but they still had time to themselves. I think that is better than a head table. IMO it doesn't make sense to have the wedding party sit together just because they're the wedding party. Chances are, they've already spent tons of time together and would like to spend time with other guests at the wedding that they haven't seen in a while.
I plan on having a head table, but the dates will be invited to sit with them. Seems like an easy solution, especially if you have a small wedding party.
We are doing a modified head table where our bridal party sits beside us and their dates sit across from them and no one sits in front of us. Hard to explain.
I have sat at a head table before and thought it would be weird but it wasn't. However, I did not bring a date to the wedding. If I had brought a date then it may have been a little uncomfortable not sitting with my date but would be fine if he had other people he knew to sit with!
@totheislands- that is what FI and I are doing!
Because FI and I have been separated at many-a-wedding, and it sucks, we are doing a "modified" head table. FI and I, MOH and her bf, Best Man and his GF will sit front and center. I asked the parents if they wanted to sit at the "head table" and they all said that they weren't comfortable with it. The rest of the bridal party and their dates will sit at rounds right next to said head table.
Thanks Bees ..... we are still thinking of what to do, but if we have a HT we will make sure all the wedding party and guests are including.....and it won't be a traditional HT....we decided we don't want to sit and face everyone (Natalieh86 - totally loved the Last Supper comment.....and agree with it now!). So far our compromise is to have a "HT" with our wedding party and guests but have it as a normal table, so it blends in to all the other tables.
Thanks again everyone for all of your comments, I really appreciate all the different views and suggestions!
What about rectangle head table..still in front of the guests somewhere but less awkward to where you are all sitting around the table?? is this rude?
we might have to do this because if not we would have a ridiculous long table of people
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At every wedding I have ever attended, there is always a Head Table (HT), so I thought this was the "norm". I never thought about not having one, until the groom mentioned that he didn't like the idea. He basically compared the head table to a police line up....
Reading some other posts I am getting the feeling that the HT isn't such a popular idea after all.
If you have ever sat at a HT, what was your experience like? Was your date allowed to sit with you? Did it feel akward (police line-up), or was it not that big of deal.
Any advice or experiences would be GREATLY appreciated!!!