Post # 1
At every wedding I have ever attended, there is always a Head Table (HT), so I thought this was the “norm”. I never thought about not having one, until the groom mentioned that he didn’t like the idea. He basically compared the head table to a police line up….
Reading some other posts I am getting the feeling that the HT isn’t such a popular idea after all.
If you have ever sat at a HT, what was your experience like? Was your date allowed to sit with you? Did it feel akward (police line-up), or was it not that big of deal.
Any advice or experiences would be GREATLY appreciated!!!
Post # 3
At my FSIL/FBIL wedding they had a semi head table- it was round but they sat with just the best man and maid of honor and flower girl. I, as the girlfriend of the best man had to sit with my future in laws and a bunch of other adults I didn’t know. It was super awkward.
I am not really a fan of bringing a date and then being forced not to sit with said date, especially if you do not know anyone else at the wedding. I also find the traditional head table awkward in that you can only talk to the two people next to you, and everyone stares at you while you eat!
I’m sorry to those who like head tables, just my opinion.
Post # 4
As a former member of a wedding party, it stinks when you can’t sit with your date.
As a bride, I don’t want my wedding party’s random (or even not-so-random) dates at my head table.
So the only thing I could think of to make everyone happy was a sweetheart table. 🙂
Post # 5
I’ve done both, head table with Fiance, and on my own.
Here is what we’re doing (old thread, my floor plan is part way down the post)
It’s called a King’s table I guess, and I just love the idea. We’re having a huge one and seating 26 at ours, wedding party, their guests and our parents and grandparents all at one big table with our guests surrounding us.
Because a head table is “the norm” and is in my opinion the “worst” (even though it’s not the end of the world and typically expected) anything you do alternatively is for you -do what you feel best suits you and your Fiance and your wedding party the best and will give everyone the best experience 🙂
Post # 6
I still like the idea of a head table. I like all the bridal party sitting together. In terms of not sitting with dates its just for a dinner after that people are free to do what they want.
Post # 7
Every wedding I have ever been to has had one.. We contomplated having a sweetheart table but after talking to our wedding party we decided to stick to the head table idea.
Post # 8
I hate them, mostly because my Fiance was the best man at his friend’s wedding and I was excluded from their HT. It was especially annoying because at some point during their wedding planning I was asked where I would prefer to sit, and of course said I wanted to sit with Fiance. They ended up excluding all dates from the head table and I didn’t find out til I got there. What jerks.
I also don’t like them because the two people at the ends of the table get a very raw deal. If they don’t have a date they are forced to chat to the one, single person that happens to be sitting next to them, and if they don’t like that person they are pretty much screwed. This also happened to somebody at the wedding I mentioned above, and he hated it.
All in all, Fiance and I have decided to scrap the HT idea. We are still not set on what exactly we will do, but I believe our current idea is to have a long, rectangular table, seat Fiance and I in the middle of the table on one side, and then arrange our bridal party AND their dates all the way around the table with us. That way everyone has a much more comfortable selection of chatting buddies, and no one is separated from their date. We will also arrange the table so that everyone will be next to or accross from somebody they know.
Post # 9
I’ve only been in one wedding that had a HT. My fiance didn’t know a SOUL (this was a friend of mine from high school in another state), and he got seated with the groom’s dad’s buddies from dental school. SUCKAGE.
Post # 10
I don’t like head tables. Actually, I think it’s safe to say that I hate them. Both Fiance and I have been in weddings with head tables and not once were we able to sit together. It sucks, I don’t care what anyone says. So what if we’re “only seperated for dinner”, if I’m attending a wedding with my FI/SO/DH, I expect to sit with him. I also don’t see how they are functional in any way. It’s impossible to have a conversation with anyone besides those sitting next to you.
We’re sitting at a standard round banquet table with both sets of parents and FI’s brother (best man) and SIL. Our bridal party will be seated (with their dates) at the next table over.
Post # 11
I totally hate head tables! It was the one thing I caved into my mother about at my first wedding and aside from marrying a jackass… it’s my biggest regret!
Most of the weddings I’ve coordinated have either sat at a guest table with some of the bridal party or family or have done sweetheart tables.
I’m fairly certain Fiance & I will be seated at a sweetheart. We’ve got loads of parents and too much drama for my tastes. It may be our bridal party and us or something, but definitely no line up table 🙂
Post # 12
I’m going with a head table. So many people will know so many other people at the wedding it won’t even matter, and everyone always gets up and mingles. They will be separated for like 2 out of 8 hours (yeah we party long and hard at weddings here but the dates will still be surrounded by friends so it’s not a big deal for ours.
Post # 13
@MrsGolden2Bee: I’m with you on this one. Whilst the idea of a sweetheart table is cute, Fiance and I would hate it. We don’t want everyone staring at us and by putting just the two of us at the table, we feel we’d be under some big spotlight.
We’re having a fairly small wedding party (6 people total, not including us) and it will actually be a lot of fun having them all up at the head table with us. As far as their dates, they will all be seated with other family members (all but 2 are family) and the two who aren’t family are close enough to be considered family. Their husbands and children will be seated with friends so they won’t be any awkwardness.
Post # 14
Well, in both my brothers wedding there was a head table, I just hated that the bridal gets thier food first, then everyone sits there staring at you eat… Weird. I didn’t have a date because I was in high school and had no Boyfriend or Best Friend at the time. What my fiance and I have decided to do is a U shaped set up. My wedding is small enough we can do this but basically we will sit in the middle with our bridal party and their plus ones and from their we haven’t really decided. But that way we don’t have all eyes on us. That’s just too weird for me. But in the same token, if you like a head table, do it. It’s your day.
Post # 15
When Darling Husband and I were engaged, he was a groomsman in one of his friend’s wedding. He was sitting at the head table while the couple had put me at another table with some people I had never met, because my DH’s ex was sitting at a table with the only people I knew at their wedding. I didn’t mind the ex and manage to sit with the people I knew, but it was still weird for me because I didn’t know them that much and never without Darling Husband with me…
Anyway all that to say that I’m not a fan..
Post # 16
i’ve never been in a wedding, but every wedding ive been to has had a head table. We are probably going to have one at our wedding too. However, everyone in our wedding party is a couple, (FI’s sister and BIL, my sister and BIL, my sister and her bf, ) except for my other sister who is single, and my man of honor who is also single. If they end up with a partner before the wedding i dunno what i’ll do, but so far i don’t have to worry about it.