Post # 1
My fiance and I are from two different states, and before we started planning this wedding, I had no idea how different weddings could be based on traditions in different locations.
I grew up with a sweetheart table. Or if it wasn’t sweetheart, it was a round table that sat the bride and the groom and their wedding party (with wedding party’s spouses/dates).
My fiance grew up with a long rectangular head table that seats the bride and groom and their wedding party (without their dates/spouses) facing all the guests. Our reception venue doesn’t even own a small rounf 3 foot table that could be used as a sweetheart table.
We just can’t seem to agree on what to do. I LOVE sweetheart tables and I always imagined eating our wedding dinner just me and my husband at our own little table. My fiance wants a long or round head table with us and our wedding party, sans their families/spouses…which I think would be awkward. I’ve never seen that done in my part of the country, and he’s never seen a sweetheart table or wedding party sitting with their family in his part of the county.
I can’t find a compromise we like. What other options are out there!? I’m frusterated with the whole thing and just want to get something figured out. What other arrangments have you seen? A bunch of sweetheart tables? I don’t know!
Post # 3
I’m in the same boat!..kinda 😛 I cant decide between just me and Fiance or having our (seven person D:) wedding party up there. Personally, I’d prefer just the two of us. Gives us time to decompress and really enjoy our first moments of husband and wife without having to make chit chat with the others. But at the same time it is a day to share with others so why not sit with your best friends.
I have no compromise..but I just felt like dropping in and saying youre not alone XD
My only concern is that it really isnt wise to split up a couple/family. They really should enjoy the day together
Post # 4
we are doing ht with the parents only – the bridal party and their spouses will be at 2 tables in front of the head table
i’ve also seen 3 round tables pushed together like a clover to keep the bridal party together
Post # 5
We sat at a table with our parents and siblings and the bridal party just sat at regular tables.
Post # 6
I’m not going to be much help to your side…but I’ll let you know what I think.
I think Sweetheart tables are really strange. Why would you want to sit by yourself at your wedding when there are (lots of) other people there to celebrate your day? I don’t understand the SO sitting w/ the bridal party and b/g at the head table, they’re nothing special. Usually there’s what I call a “bridal party reject table” where all the SO of the bridal party sit.
Post # 7
We were originally going to have all of our wedding party and their dates with us at a normal round table, but there was one person too many, so we decided on sweetheart table and had everyone else sit with people they know.
I LOVED having a sweetheart table! I thought it was great to have some time with my hubby, since you don’t get a lot of that at your wedding.
Even though dates of your wedding party might not be special to you, they’re still your guests. Having been in a bridal party where my hubby has to sit with people he doesn’t know and being at a wedding where my hubby was in the bridal party which left me all alone during dinner, I think it’s nice to be able to sit with your date. It’s no fun sitting at a bridal party reject table.
Post # 8
I always prefer setups where the bridal party gets to sit with their dates. If that is few enough people that the bride and groom can sit with the bridal party and their dates, I think that’s the best solution. If not, how about sitting with your parents?
You can also do a long rectangular table with people sitting on both sides of it, not just facing out on one side. I too am in the camp that thinks the sweetheart table is a little bit weird. The wedding only lasts so long and dinner is a great opportunity to chat with your guests!
Post # 9
@artbee: I’ve been in both situations. I was just making light of it. But honestly I’ve never seen the SO with the Bridal Party.
Post # 10
We were in the same boat, except I didn’t want the traditional head table, and I wanted our bridal party to sit with their spouses/significant others.
We compromised REALLY well…I think.
Here’s a photo mock-up of what we did….basically we had a small square sweetheart table…and a spilt headtable…we seated the bridal party facing the other guests, and their dates beside them. It really came down to the fact that we wanted everyone to have a great time, and having your bridal party’s dates with them, makes a huge difference.
It was a great compromise, and worked really well for us. I am ALL for sweetheart tables…it’s romantic, and it’s nice to have a few minutes just to yourselves…you don’t get many!! It is a complicated issue, and many people have strong opinions. Just do what you feel is best!
Post # 11
It’s funny to see how things are different around the country. Where we grew up, it was always bride and groom with the wedding party (sans dates) at a long table facing the guests. But a couple years ago we were at a wedding where the bride and groom sat with the wedding party and all their dates at a big long table. We thought it was a great idea (FI was in the wedding, and I knew absolutely no one there but him). It was nice to be able to sit with him and get to know his friends better. So for our wedding, we are doing something similar. All our tables seat 8, so we will be sitting with our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man and their spouses, plus one other couple from our wedding party that we are both friends with. Then there will be a table for the (4 other) ladies and their dates and the (4 other) guys and their dates. They are all thrilled about it, and we’re happy that we dont have to split anyone up or seat anyone at awkward “reject” tables.
Post # 12
I agree that it is nice to have the bridal party’s SOs sit with them. I’ve been at three weddings where they did not do this, one time as the bridesmaid and two times as a guest of someone in the bridal party, and it is SO awkward not to be able to sit with your date/SO. To me, the wedding is about bringing everyone around you to celebrate, not splitting up people.
Love VanCountry’s option too!
Post # 13
We have the same issue and well we didn’t realy come to an agreement. I just put my foot down and said this is one thing I am not giving up. I have adjusted to the Northern style wedding more then this Southern belle ever wanted.
We will be doing a sweetheart table and two round tables next to us with the bridal party. Then a table close to that for both of our families. We wanted these people to all be close to us but I wanted us to have our first dinner for just us! I don’t see why it is a bad thing to want to enjoy 15 -20 mins with your new husband to just talk to him and no one else.
In working with someone with very different wedding ideas I have realized that somethings you can’t comp on. I say tell him I get this one thing and you can have this one touch. Or maybe if you guys really can’t decide flip a coin.
Post # 14
Since your venue doesn’t provide a small round table for a sweetheart table, I like the idea that @VanCountry: threw out there for a small rectangular sweetheart table flanked by your bridal party.
As far as a long head table goes, that is the apparent tradition in Wisconsin (I’ve never seen it done another way until very recently), but my fiance and I are breaking that tradition. We’re having 3 round “head” tables at the front of the room. One will seat us, our Maid/Matron of Honor & boyfriend, and both of our BMs & wife/girlfriend. The other two “head” tables will be on either side of that one, and will seat our other wedding party members and their dates. While a lot of people like being more on-display during dinner, we didn’t want to be. Also, we’ve been to weddings where one of us has stoof up and the other was at the “reject table.” We’re social, so we’ve made it fun, but it can be really awkward, too.
I think a good compromise is @VanCountry:‘s idea. What does your fiance think of that?
Post # 15
we’re having a head table with just the two of us, I didn’t want to seperate our wedding party from other friends.