- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2012
So I wake up to a text from a bridesmaid (or ex bridesmaid) if mine this morning. Basically to tell me she wants nothing to do with my wedding and nothing to do with me. fantastic…
Yet…as to provide a little means of a background…
She was one of the first friends that I made in college. I am more of a quiet, reserved individual while she is just out there and very loud and obnoxious even. She constantly gets made fun of since she dresses in very interesting outfits. I helped her when she got kicked out and even paid for numerous things when she didn’t have any money. We have been in quite a few arguments because she kept depleting my wallet and running it dry. This stirred quite a few arguments between my fiance and I as well.
Yet, in the end I worked things out with her and we were on good terms. However, she had a history of always nagging me about how I would never invite her out when I went clubbing/to lounges/bars with my friends. Yet, when I DID invite her, she would give me millions of excuses as to why she would not be able to come out. She would tell me she’s tired, or she doesn’t like going to bed late, she can’t stay out past midnight, she’s not a drinker, etc…etc… Thus, I figured she doesn’t like it, and I stopped asking. Yet, once she got this new job, with her new coworkers, she all of a sudden began clubbing, drinking, partying, staying out overnight… That made me confused but I never really felt annimosity towards her nor did I give her any crap about it.
She got me my current job, but she soon after left. She convinced me to start working there while knowing how much drama this job entailed just so that she could have me “keep her company” and drive us to restaurants during lunch because she doesn’t like to drive. At the same time, I was gracious and felt a close connection, and asked her to be a part of my bridal party.
While I may not be the one to initiate conversation, I would randomly text her here and there and I left her plenty of facebook messages. I asked how everything was and I tried to catch up with her here and there. Yet, she was quite busy going to Happy Hours with her new co workers/friends and she just left me there. She came in on a PRN basis to my current job, and would leave letters for other coworkers, yet left nothing for me. She would always go around boasting she was my best friend. There were lots of times where she would have a lunch date, and I would come expecting we were going to go out, and as I was waiting until our lunch hour, I’d come to find out she’s gone with her lunch date without even informing me. Yet, if I ever did that to her, all hell would break loose….
She was semi-dating a guy and sleeping with him and treating him like a bF, yet she saw nothing wrong with depleting him of everything and leading him on when she had no intentions of being in a relationship with him when thats all he wanted to do. She was on the continuous hunt for other guys that she thought were better, or she would have tons of other guys whom wanted to do thigns for her because they wanted to be with her. She has a lot of charm on those guys to the point she had a guy whom was willing to pick her up and bring her to work, and than drive her back home after work. She says its because she’s hates driving, but he just wanted to be accepted by her. While another guy used to buy her all kinds things for lunch. I remember asking her, “Dont’ you feel bad? You know you are hurting them right?” And her reply was, “Well, is it really my fault? They’re doing it. I never told them to try?” But thats not true, back in college, she kept touching this guy’s arm, and kept flirting and he did her entire project for her. Once he finished and he asked her out, instead of telling him that she wasn’t interested, she said, “I have a bf.” Which was a lie. She claims she is too weak and cannot turn down guys like that. She even got a guy to take her to a nice place to watch planes land with a picnic dinner, and she swears that she had no idea that he was trying to get with her. She turned him down and wouldn’t even let him ask her out and said she just bum rushed home to avoid confrontation because she doesn’t like it. :T
In retrospect, my fiance left her messages here and there. I think he said something about “Wow…you actually went out.” when she posted a clubbing picture of herself @ a club with her friends. He also said something about “you better save your money and stop buying so many clothes. You have a bridesmaid dress to buy!” I admit he can be crude/mean, but why not talk to me about it first instead of jumping to conclusions?
Yet, I guess the real question is was it really enough to cut me off and rid of our friendship?
Here is what she said:
‘Can you please tell G(My fiance) if he has nothing nice to say then not to say anything at all on my Facebook? I’ve never been nothing but nice to him. This has not been the first time either. Out of respect for you, I’ve just held it inside. It seems like every time I post anything happy on FB, he’ll be so quick to jump on it and put in his snarky comment. I know you’ll talk shit about me after this, but I honestly don’t care anymore. NOT ONCE after I left ************ (The job she got me, but than left), did you ever call or text to check up on me. The ONLY time you even bothered was after you saw me writing A (our other friend @ this place). Let me save you the trouble. Just say you hate me and don’t want to be my friend anymore. I’ve already accept that at this point. Good luck on your wedding and God bless.
1st = I’m confused. What did I do?
…. No response….
2nd = “I never said anything of the sort and I thnk you should calm down. I’m sorry I didn’t follow up with you consistently but you seem consumed with your new friends and figured you would come around when you were ready. I consider you a very dear friend and must say that I am quite hurt by all this. I wish you would reconsider. As for G(My fiance) I dont know what his problem is, yet I think it is unfair to cut me out of your life because he pissed you off. I will tell him 2 stop. Yet, I think the real reason that you are considering to cut me off is because you have new friends and I am no longer needed.”
I think that she’s found new “sugar mamas” or “sugar daddies” and thus, no longer sees a need for our friendship.
Any thoughts ladies? Should I just accept my loss and accept that she’s just no good for me and focus on my new life ahead?