- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
So it’s taken me a long time to even post this in here but I think it will help me continue to heal even if I never understand why it happened.
please only LOVE not Hate on this post it’s just my attempt to help myself heal.
So my fiancé proposed on leap day but we chose to enjoy being engaged for a few months and didnt really start wedding plans till late June. But by the middle of August I had asked 4 lovely ladies all close friends to be with me on my wedding day. They all said yes.
Well about a month and a half in I got a text that one of my maids (lets call her bm K) was now dumped and to not plan on her boyfriend for the wedding. We were over a year out so I told her honestly that no ones boyfriend was listed and so she would still have a plus one and sent my regrets. I’m a very budget conscious bride and as such am housing my maids not at a hotel but mu parents house. So I also jokingly told her that it was good because I wasn’t sure my parents could house my maids and their plus ones. We have a small country home and my mother had also told family they could stay. I never told her he couldn’t just that I wasn’t sure. I realized that I hadn’t told the other maids about the little problem that my mom and I figured out. Also about their boyfriends being a plus one not specific to that boy. So I sent a message to the group explaining it in more detail to the group about my mothers and my miss communication. Again just stating we weren’t sure not a solid cant. They all replied to the post mostly joking bm K a little tense but I just thought it was the break up.
A couple of days later the other maids and I were trying to see if they could all visit for the wedding year mark and help me start picking a dress. Well when I sent BM K a message asking when she thought she would be free I got back “I don’t know” so I politely asked her to just let me know as soon as she could. Well a few texts later I learned she was mad at me and accused me of saying “its ok she broke up with this boyfriend so I don’t have to house him.” I went home from work after trying to call her to no end and calling sobbing to my mom from work totally distraught. I of course told my fiancé. He told me to give it a day and I did but she still wouldn’t answer my call. So my fiancé who had already read all of the text messages and Facebook post and comments offered to try and mediate. It took him a couple days to get her to take his call and not just text him awful things about me (which he being a loving fiancé never told me and I was too hurt to ask to see them). When he finally got through she was adiment she didn’t want to be in the wedding because she felt she couldn’t be a good friend. She even asked him to tell me. She never had the guts to tell me herself.
This isn’t a post to trow hate or anything. I doubt I will ever understand her actions. Ever since planning has gone mostly well with minimal drama. At 9 months out I have my dress, jewelry, a venue, a pastor, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, and centerpieces. This post is my attempt to help myself heal so please only love no hate.