Heard this on the radio this morning, what does the bee think?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Should mom let the BF be in the photo?
    No, No ring, no photo : (235 votes)
    90 %
    Absolutely : (7 votes)
    3 %
    Other : (18 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 4
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    Eh, if it’s an established rule and other family members have had to follow it in the past, I don’t think it’s too unreasonable for the mom to request that.  Now, if this is just some new rule she made up because she doesn’t like the BF, that’s a whole different story.  Even so, it is the mom’s money being spent and she gets the final say as to who is in the picture.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    Mother knows best in this one. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it is perfectly reasonable. If I were the mom in this situation, I would only want family in it too… not potential future family.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8425 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If mom is paying for the photo, it’s her rules.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I assume there will be multiple takes of the photo, would it really hurt to have the BF in one shot? I took a couple of shots with my highschool boyfriend during my senior photo session. Everyone was all concerned about it because ‘who knows if it will last’…well we’re engaged now so I think we did 😛

    Post # 10
    Member
    1779 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Money aside I wouldn’t want a BOYFRIEND in my FAMILY photo because without a commitment I don’t want some random dude in my 2013 holiday photos I’ll give out and look at for years to come.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2372 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I agree, mom’s $$, mom’s rules, and as long as its been that way for everyone and not a new rule.

    People have been together for 4+ years and then broken up, so I guess I understand the rule, too.  Of course people also get divorced, so I guess that kind of counters that argument….

    Post # 12
    Member
    6407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t understand why both of them have such strong feelings about the photo. What is the importance/use of this photo, to each of them?

    Also, how hard is it to just take two photos… one with him, one without? Click, click, done. Errrybody’s happy and has the perfect photo that they’re going to use for that very important mystery purpose they had to have it for.

    Post # 13
    Member
    6890 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I’m with the mom 100% on this one. I thought you were going to say that they were engaged. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Well we’re pretty easy going about this sort of thing in my family. You can be in a committed relationship without a ring and we’d include a boyfriend/girlfriend if they wanted to be in the picture. After all, it is only this year’s card. Not some artefact that will change history if the cast of characters change over the years!

    However, if this is the understood rule in the family in question then it seems very childish for the girl to throw a strop and threaten to boycott the photograph herself. That sort of behaviour would suggest that she’s nowhere near mature enough to be in a committed relationship in the first place. To take this to a radio station is just plain silly. Best to take the issue up with her mother and ultimately, go with the flow I’d have thought. Although it would seem sensible, if they are having a photoshoot, to just take one with the boyfriend in it anyway. Then use a picture without him for the actual card. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @jesssamesssa:  My grandma has a family photo hung up in her house with my high school ex. I really wish someone had kicked him out of the photo so it didn’t have to be hung up forever in my grandma’s house especially now that I’m engaged to someone else.

    Post # 16
    Hostess
    9910 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @jesssamesssa:  If the rule is no ring, no photo, then he’s not in the photo IMO.  Especially after just a year.  FH and I have been together 9 years, they have always treated me like family but once we moved in together (2 years) I became the FDIL, I was treated like a daughter and included in all things family. I’m sure mom has her rules for a reason – besides, who wants to look back at old family photos and see pictures of exes? (Think HIMYM, the episode with Ted’s exes in the Christmas pictures)

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