Heartbroken

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2164 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry you are going through this. My only advice is to keep pushing forward and to occupy yourself with other things. Don’t count on you guys getting back together but don’t give up if that’s what you really want. Give him his space and let it be ok for you to have your space too. Use this time to your advantage.

Again, I’m really sorry that this is happening to you.

Post # 4
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@lovey_dovey:  don’t contact him again, whatever you do. You should just focus on yourself and find things that make yourself happy. 

Post # 5
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Oh sweetheart 🙁

i understand your heartbreak, been there and yes it really does suck! The best thing to do right now is focus on yourself, your hobbies and enjoying time with friends! It would also be a very wise idea to cut off contact with your ex, the more you see and talk to him the more you will hang on hoping he will change his mind and the more devastated you will be when you realise it’s not going to happen, take care of yourself Hun and pm me if you need someone to talk to

Post # 6
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lovey_dovey:  this is going to sound harsh but I think in a lot of these cases, the person needing more time and space for vague reasons is because the person is worried they are settling but afraid to be alone or possibly interested in someone else. This may not be the case, but I think it’s important to acknowledge and prepare for that possibility. I think there is NO HARM to moving on with your own life and assuming you are over. If you are truly important to him, he won’t forget about you or let you go. Or, he might let you go and be relieved that he’s not getting any pressure from you anymore. 

Im really sorry this is happening to you! Breakups are terrible! Take care of yourself.

Post # 7
Member
4440 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m sorry but for some reason it sounds like he had someone while you were gone in Europe….may be wrong but certainly sounds that way to me!

Post # 8
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m very sorry:( that is heartbreaking. I think being away will help u get over the feelings you have. Little visits make you hope… And you never really can grieve. Maybe try to accept the break up instead of clinging to his “maybe” statements. That’s not fair to you. don’t you think after 2 months he would be calling? If he isn’t then yea that hurts and sucks but in time u will heal… It just sucks you have to go through the pain until u heal:(

Post # 9
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m sorry.  I’ve had my heart broken also and it can be AWFUL.  It’s taken me months at times to get over people whom I really cared about.

The best thing you can do, however, is move on with your life.  Even though he claims he loves you and regrets breaking up, he also says he doesn’t want to get back together.  Believe him.  

@BellaDee:  +1  I think this is right.

Post # 10
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee

I am so sorry you’re going through this, but I have to be honest. Coming from a place of having dealt with a very similar situation…run for the hills. Even if he wants you back, don’t go. I played that game with someone who wasn’t sure about me. I played it on and off for three years. The truth was they just weren’t into me, but he cared very much about me and knew I was a good catch so tried to make it work. That person ended up doing all kinds of sketchy things behind my back and blamed it on us fighting, and that making me less attractive. At the end of the day, it’s all a bunch of bull. So I say run! And you know what? I spent three months obsessing and pitying myself over that relationship, then snapped myself out of it, started going to the gym, spending time with friends, and a month later found my soulmate who would never question our relationship. 

Post # 11
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@lovey_dovey:  First i am so sorry.  I have been in your exact shoes.  You think all is going well and the next thing everything is upside down.  In my case he told me exactly the same thing.  He needed space, he was stressed with work, His daughter was leaving for university etc.    We did not get back together.  I know that is hard not to contact him but trust me don’t.  Make him miss you.  Focus on you!  try to have fun and if he really does love you than he will come back.  but remember if he doesen’t it was never ment to be.  The man of your dreams is out there for you, it just isn’t him.  

On a positive note:  A year later I met my real prince charming.  we are now engaged and getting married in 2014.  When one door closes another one opens.

Chin up girl.  Be as strong as you can be.

Post # 12
Member
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@lovey_dovey:  this sucks 🙁 Relationship can be complicated and there are ups and downs in every relationship so dont feel alone. It is very possible that he really just needs to figure out wha is going on in his head. I have had those times where I just needed to be alone for a while and figure things out without the help or support of my SO. If someone is asking for time alone ou should respect that and use it as an oportunity to take care of yourself as well. Don’t force it. If it is meant to be it will be and if it was not meant to be you will realize it and thank your lucky stars it ended when it dead. Keep your head up. 

Post # 13
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lovey_dovey:  (((hugs))) I’m so sorry.

Now here’s my advice: dump his ass. Get out with friends and do you best to take your mind off him. Don’t call him and don’t return his calls.

I wouldn’t read too much into the times you spent together. I’ve heard this described as “weaning himself off you”. He has time with you for HIS sake, to make it easier on HIM. (Or worse, he is maybe playing “The Bachelor”, dating two women at once before deciding which one to give the rose). The “I still love you” line is probably because he doesn’t have the b*lls to tell you it’s over.

I agree with PPs that there’s a very good chance that he’s seeing someone else, which would explain why he’s free to see you at certain times, and doesn’t want you to contact him otherwise. Even if that isn’t the case, he doesn’t deserve your time when he’s treating you like this.

Post # 14
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lovey_dovey:  I’m probably the last person who should comment on this post given my situation. 

all I can say is be happy it happened when it did. I was engaged and then he ended it and it is even more traumatizing. Not only am I feeling heartbroken but humiliated. 

We still talk and I think it is the worst thing. If he can leave me once, who is to say he will never do it again.

Take it from- distract yourself with friends and family. Make new hobbies. Keep busy. Someone better is out there for you. Everyone keeps telling me that and now that I see someone who is hurting like me, I realize it is true. 

Im really sorry you are going through this and I am sorry for comparing my experience to yours. We need to keep our heads up and believe someone better is out there for us. Stay strong girl! 

Post # 15
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

i’m so sorry. try to move on. (if he comes back to you figure it out then), just work on making yourself happy without him.

Post # 16
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m so sorry. Honestly, time to move on. It sounds like he is toying with you. Why  would you want to marry someone who isn’t 110% sure they want to spend their life with you?

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