heartbroken

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

It sounds like you made the right choice. She’ll get over it. You’ll be able to enjoy your special day. That’s too bad she’s like that and you had to make that decision, but I think you did right by making it.

Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MrsBagel:  I am so sorry :(. Despite her being a total witch, it is always hard to lose a beloved friend. There definitely is a mourning period when you realize the concept f that special “friendship” is actually over. It sounds like it is for the better, but it is hard. I broke up with my best friend last year and I can honestly say I bawled like a baby after the argument that caused the “split”. When the  negatives greatly begin to outweigt the positive of the friendship though, neither of you are getting anything out of it anymore. I truly believe that some people come into your life for a reason and not every friend you encounter is a lifelong friend. Hang in there. Perhaps someday she will wake up and change her attitude, but if not, surround yourself with those friends who make your life better. 

Post # 4
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

 

MrsBagel:  Its hard to cut your losses sometimes. Someone on wedding bee posted this the other day about a bad friendship and I saved it because it is so true. Deep down you know this is the right thing to do, no matter how hard it is right now! If anything the barrage of texts really shows her true colors.

 

In life, we are ATM’s – our friends and family make deposits (ie- love, happiness, comfort when we need) and they also make withdrawls (ie- drain on our time, what we give back to them in our sacrafices, money perhaps or just love/friendship to them) but we all know those people that are constatly withdrawing and never make any deposits. If we, as the ATM, don’t cut them off or close down their accounts – they’ll keep withdrawing until you are left with nothing.

You have to be the one to decide when to cut the person off – it can subtle, with out any confrontrations or nasty words (my method) or you can have that frank discussion with them. Just don’t let this “friend” empty out your account – you have so much more to give to the friends, family and your fiance who actually make depostis into your happiness, they deserve to see some back – not your energy wasted on her. “

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  MrsA1222.
Post # 5
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

She sounds toxic.  I’m happy you are ridding your life of her.

Post # 6
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry you had to go through that :/ At least she wasn’t family; you still have your family and your BEST friend, your future groom. 🙂 Just enjoy the rest of your wedding planning and try not to get too down about losing a friend.  It sounds like it was time to let go of that friendship anyway.

Post # 8
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

MrsBagel:  Frankly, my dear, she sounds like a bitch. I’d be glad to be rid of her, honestly – no one needs that much unpleasantness and negativity in their life. It’s natural and healthy to mourn the loss of a friend, but in the end, you’ll probably be happy you made this choice. 

You should do something nice for yourself! Even if it’s something small, like a fun evening out with your fiance.

Post # 10
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Honestly, I would celebrate vs. being heartbroken. I know it’s sad, but it’s also uplifting to not deal with people like that anymore. I would also warn her that if she doesn’t stop with the nasty text messages, then you’re going to have to block her number.

Post # 11
Member
1173 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Losing a friend even a toxic one can be difficult…I have learned that when we make friends they arent always meant to be lifelong..some people come into your life and we let them stay regardless of their behavior because when the friendship started they had something your life was missing..then you realize that you have changed and moved on and perhaps grown but their growth didnt coincide with your own,…hopefully you will be happier and hopefully you will find others who are more like you and who share your set of values…good luck

As for the calls and text from her..ignore it..block her…do whatever you need to do to move forward.

Post # 12
Member
829 posts
Busy bee

I think she’s acting that way because she’s really unhappy in her life. And now she sees you as another problem on her list so it’s ok to just block her out completely–  BUT if you ever have any other friends that get really sarcastic or start acting rude like this, please have some “girl time” and really try to get her to talk about what’s bothering her. Sometimes people need help but don’t want to ask for it, the pain builds up and they turn into mean, ugly people.

Post # 14
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

It sounds for the best that you two went your separate ways. It sounds like your parenting views and lifestyle choices are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I don’t think this makes her a terrible person, necessarily, but clearly for you the differences were too much. 

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