Post # 1
Hi 🙂 So fiance and I decided right off the bat that we dont want a sit down dinner. We have never been the biggest fans of this style (thought I have been to amazing sit down weddings!) and thought heavy hor d’oeurves would suit our personalities much better. Well we hired a wedding planner and she said that she has been to a lot of weddings of this style and everyone always gets more then enough food and the people always have a great time. Our DJ told us the same thing. Well my mom is really not loving the idea (neither is FI mom) and the negativity is making me doubt our choice. So here is where I need some advice:
1. Have you ever been to this type of wedding? Did you enjoy it? i.e. have enough food and thought it ran smoothly?
2. Have you ever been invited to this type of wedding and went into it skeptical, but left it a big fan????
This isnt something we are doing to save money either. It will end up costing about the same as a sit down. We plan on having the heavy apps and some food stations as well.
Post # 3
I love this idea and we’re doing the same thing. We are also having a cheese tray and anti pasta tray for the cocktail hour. I think people will get plenty of food and love the variety. I told myself a long time ago that I would not let the mothers opinions change mine. They have both complained about certain things we’re doing, but we didn’t change a thing. This is YOUR wedding, they have had their days!
Post # 4
I haven’t been to any wedding like this, but if done right, I am sure it will be fine. I suggest getting a list together of what you are thinking to serve with the amount of each serving for each item, then present that to both moms. hors d’oeuvres have come a very long way from what your mom’s are probably thinking.
Post # 5
I have been to a wedding like this before and we were stuffed to the gills with food!
We are also doing a reception like this. We’re not into the sit-down dinner either because it’s not our style. We’re calling it a ‘Strolling Reception.’
Post # 6
I’ve been to a reception like this and did not get enough to eat. It felt like I had a snack for dinner instead of a meal. If you do go this route, really make sure there is plenty of food for everyone!
Post # 7
@stephinPa-LOVE the strolling reception name. Super cute!
@sunnydebs-Can you give me anymore detail as to why it didnt work? Did they just have waiters walking around with trays or did they have stations as well? Thanks! I appreciate your honesty!
Post # 8
@noritake22-so very true about hors d’oeuvres coming along way from what our parents know! Our parents are both from Pittsburgh and have only been to very traditional weddings. We live in NYC now and are having a more untraditional urban loft wedding. I think they are having a hard time wrapping their heads around it!
Post # 9
I have been to a wedding like this, and while there were drinks and food aplenty, there weren’t enough tables and chairs. You don’t need to have one chair per person, but just enough to make sure that the elderly guests (and female guests in sky high shoes) have a chance to sit and take a breather! Standing for 4 or 5 hours gets tiring!
Post # 10
I’ve never been to one, but I’ve heard great things! I say go for it, everyone i know who has been to one loved it!
Post # 11
Instead of calling it heavy hor d’oeurves, call it tapas, and maybe they will buy in!
But seriously, you should do what YOU want- it’s your day!
Post # 12
@nerdette-I totally agree about the seating. We will definitely have enough for people to sit! I want to have regular tables (not sure what shape/size yet) and then the loft comes with lounge furniture as well that we will use and then cocktal tables as well…..maybe bar stools with those. Not sure! Cute screen name btw!
Post # 13
I think as long as you are such that there will be enough food, you are fine. I think these types of receptions are unfairly lumped together in a category because for some, a non-sitdown-dinner means light appetizers which means hungry guests. Sounds like you guys have a great plan though, so I think it’s fine! As a guest, I would be excited by this unique experience.
Post # 14
This is the type of reception we are doing. One way to maybe make your mothers feel better is to have a small plate brought out. Basically, we will have a small buffet with salads, cheeses and fruit, then several passed tapas, then the wait staff is bringing out small plates with three selections on each plate (in our case deer/portabello sliders, fingerling potatoes, and mac and cheese bites). This way, you guarantee that everyone will get a plate of food, on top of having a buffet and passed tapas. Just go with food that only requires a fork to maintain the atmosphere.
As a side note, consider a dessert buffet as well, it is a ton of fun, and it is shocking how much variety you can get for the price of a wedding cake.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
I think it’s really common for the older generations to reject new ideas, mostly bc they’re probably never heard of it being done or never seen it done!
While I’ve never actually been to a wedding like this, I have no doubt that it can be tastefully and beautifully done, with guests leaving totally stuffed. I do like the idea of calling it Tapas instead of heavy hors dveoures and maybe you can find some examples online (like, on Style Me Pretty, Once Wed, MS Weddings, etc) to show your mom that it can be a great alternative to the traditional sit-down dinner…Go for it!
Post # 16
I have been to one wedding like this and we all definitely left full. There were passed hors d’oeuvres and stations, but it almost was more like a buffet than a just heavy appetizers. Pretty much everyone sat down to eat, which I think sort of undid the bride’s whole intention of having just apps, only without assigned seating.
I think it definitely can work, but it would be best if you are working with a coordinator and caterer who have done something like this. While I don’t think you need enough seats for everyone, there should be spots for people to rest their food while they are eating. maybe half cocktail height tables and half regular, that kind of thing. I should also say that while I thought it was just ok at the wedding we went to, my fiance says it was the best wedding he’s ever been to, so it’s a lot a matter of opinion.