Post # 1
I started off with three bridesmaids. I set a dress from David’s Bridal. Maids all said “oh, I’ll get it later.” Dress was discontinued, so I called stores for availability. They said in the off chance they could get the correct dresses in the correct sizes and colors, it’d take 8-15 weeks for it to get in from the time the maids ordered them. This was 13 weeks before the wedding. So I had to change the dress. BM3 says they are strapped for cash, so it has to be less than dress #1. My Maid/Matron of Honor found one for me. Problem solved. Except I find out that the company that sells the dresses is incompetent to say the least (THOUSANDS of negative reviews, three positive ones.) My Maid/Matron of Honor jokingly asks if she can buy a renaissance faire dress. I say “OK, you’re the Maid/Matron of Honor. Doesn’t matter if you match.” Five minutes later, Bridesmaid or Best Man2 (the one with no concept of modesty) texts me that her husband just got orders and they can’t make it to the wedding. I tell Bridesmaid or Best Man3 the situation, and give her guidelines for a dress and say have at it. Since my Fiance matched the guys’ outfits to the maids’ outfits (three different colors), I have to find a replacement for Bridesmaid or Best Man2. She’s also into renaissance stuff. So I give her the guidelines, and say renaissance stuff is acceptable. I think all is fine.
Maid/Matron of Honor says “well, if Bridesmaid or Best Man3 gets a renaissance dress, I can buy it off her and alter it for myself!” My mom also starts sighing and huffing that “well, unmatched dresses won’t RUIN your wedding. Well, maybe they will, but *sigh* whatever.”
GOOD GRIEF! I’ve already given two dead-end dresses! I can’t change it now, can I? I mean, my Maid/Matron of Honor and I would be buying her the dress, but dang it, I’d want to punch me if I was her!
Post # 3
Oh wow! It sounds like you might need to stick up for yourself a bit. Do you even like the idea of having a Renaissance fair dress? Because that’s a big jump from most weddings, and will definitely change your theme if it isn’t already renaissaince.
Post # 4
I’m a little confused.
You now only have 2 bridesmaids, but want to replace the one who can’t make it?
And your Maid/Matron of Honor has a dress and your 3rd brides maid is still looking?
What is your issue exactly?
Post # 5
wow.. I’m just letting my girls pick (and buy) their own dress as long as it’s the same (exact) color. That way they like it and I won’t have to worry about one not liking it and the other not being able to afford it.. yikes.
But Yay for 3 a side bridal parties! (:
Post # 6
My issue is that I don’t feel like I can give my SIL “dress guideline #4.” I’d want to punch me in the face for that, and SIL isn’t nearly as patient with people as I am. (SIL is the type likely to stop talking to someone at the drop of a hat. At present, she’s not talking to my mom because my mom suggested as politely as possible that SIL should put a coat on her 6 month old when she goes out in 10 degree weather.) My mom and Maid/Matron of Honor are pressuring me to do so. Sure, it’d be me buying her dress instead of making her pay for it, but I have to draw the line somewhere!
It started off one dress style, with each Bridesmaid or Best Man in a different color (loved the dress, couldn’t choose a single color.) FI decided to match the guys’ ties to the dresses, not thinking that one slip-up amongst the wedding party would throw things off. Which meant even when the first dress went out the window, the colors had to stay.
My dress is medieval style. My Fiance and I just went in the parking lot in medieval clothes and had a padded-swordfight. I’m definitely OK with medieval/renaissance dresses. But I know I hate buying bridesmaid paraphernalia, so I don’t want my BMs to buy a bunch of crap they’ll never wear again.
Post # 7
Well, I would like to think these ladies can be grown up and understanding. Just try to talk to her and be honest that you know this is INSANE, but sometimes weddings are insane and you have to go with it.
I think the idea of a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that you’ll wear again while nice ITS ALL LIES. ok ok, not all lies, but mostly lies. I have 3 dresses that I swore I’d wear again and have not. I would never buy a dress based on that. Just make sure she picks a dress she is comfortable in and you both like it enough.
Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about matching the dresses to the guys. I don’t really think it has to be matched, I am a true believer in flexibility. You’re wedding will look lovely no matter what. Plus its cheaper (usually) to change a guys accessories as opposed to a dress.
If it makes you feel better we’re having a lop sided wedding party. We had asked friends of ours (married couple) to both be in the wedding party, long story short, they are getting divorced and she’s left the country. We debated having someone else step up, but in the end we kept the people we’d chosen first. Sure, numbers are lopsided, but if people are really going to pay attention to that they arent watching the freaking ceremony closely enough –>VOWS BEING RECITED OVER HERE PEOPLE!
Hope you get things sorted out!