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Oh, and shortly after this, he purposely dropped one of my pearl earrings into his belly button... It was just sitting on the table next to the bed, minding its own business, and he goes and does that. sigh. He has a ginormous belly button too. I told him "now I have to clean it or else I can't wear it" and he's like "what, my belly button is clean!"
Hahaha- that is a pretty good one. Just the other day, I was actually thinking about starting a board similar to this that was clueless things guys say. My hubby has done plenty of things like the thing you mentioned because he can NOT cook, but the best was that this past week I had my period and b/c I recently switched pills it was heavier than usual (sorry if that's TMI but we've all been there!) I was complaining about it because we just got a new mattress and new sheets and I was worrying. He thought he had the greatest idea and goes, "Why can't you wear a Depends AND a tampon, wouldn't that help?" - he meant a pad. I laughed so hard- guys can be so clueless!
I had to giggle at the meatloaf thing! Too cute!
I've never made meatloaf... what happens if its cooked upsidedown?? lol
My FMIL makes it with 2 slices of bread on the bottom to soak up all the fat :)
lol nothing really happens if it's upside down, just the visual basically. so its flat on top and a bit rounded on the bottom. Tasted pretty good though :) I've read about the bread thing, but we never have bread around so I didn't try it. It just kind of pooled around it and burnt up lol I put foil down first though so doesnt matter, and I like the crispiness it gives lol I'll have to try the bread thing one day though
I'm sure there are better examples but the only one that comes to mind is laundry sorting...we have a laundry sorter that I love...one a section gets close to the top, that's about the size of our machine. He literally cannot tell the difference between whites vs colors vs darks...luckily not a huge deal, but it's like he thinks only solid black things are dark.
He also tends to forget about food until it is NASTY, and never really thinks to clear out the fridge/pantry. When he bought his house, he actually MOVED an expired jar of mayo. I was so embarassed when a friend figured it out during a party where we served burgers.
I'll have to think of something funnier!
Something that just came to mind when cannotwait mentioned laundry was that when my husband cleans out the lint trap in the dryer, he just tosses the lint wherever (on top of the dryer, on the counter, on the floor), drives me nuts, especially since there is a trash can RIGHT NEXT TO THE DRYER! He also does not sort laundry either. I have the sorter things, but we have a huge washer and dryer so he figures that if he can't fill it up with darks, he throws in one of the other loads. I've banned him from laundry.
My hubby (who never cooks) once made spaghetti and he was going to expertly blend a lot of different spices into the sauce so I should prepare myself for "the best spaghetti ever". We sat down to dinner and I noticed that I kept biting down on all these little crunchy things so I asked him what he put in it. They were mustard seeds. Tons and tons of mustard seeds.
I told him he's banned from using mustard seeds again.
hahaha my guy does stuff like this too. The best one that comes to mind immediately is one time we bought one of those frozen ice cream pie things. So I asked him to go cut it up while I got our dvd ready to go. I hear all this ruckus from the kitchen and I go in there... he's trying to cut it with a pizza cutter. Cause ya know.... it's round so that should work right? LOL.
Then there is the fact that he is incapable of making a bed. Before me, to make his bed he would just take the fitted sheet and throw it on the bed and then kind of stretch it and tuck it wherever he could (paying no attention to the actually shape of the mattress or the bed). So there would be like, corners of bare mattress and wadded up sheets on other parts. I had to explain to him ok... see how this is a rectangle? and this is a rectangle? they MATCH. It has taken 2.5 years but he can just about do it himself now haha (this is one of those things that I STRONGLY suspect he is totally capable of doing but just feigns incompetence so I'll do it for him).
I also have to break down new concepts for him into food analogies. Like.. I make quilts and he couldn't understand what batting was for. I finally told him that the fabric is like the tortillas and the batting is like the cheese in a quesadilla. heh.
I'm sure there are more... I'll have to think. Guys are too funny.
Those are cute! (But I have to admit, I might have done the same thing to the meatloaf - flipped it over).
When we first starting planning the wedding, FI said he wanted a blue cake. Not the icing, the actual cake part! It's his favorite color, and one of our colors (we're using cream, blush pink and navy blue). Um, blue food isn't typically found in NATURE and I had to veto that one. :-)
@hcritton - your blending story reminded me of a good one...
FI was making mashed potatoes and chicken cordon bleu (ready-made) for dinner. He brings the plates full of food into the living room and I realize that he has only made mashed potatoes, I ask what he did with the chicken cordon bleu and he says, I blended them into the mashed potatoes! It was seriously the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten!!!
LOLOL @Corgitales and Miss Paris. I really don't understand how a guy's mind works lol They're just so crazy. Mr. Joe likes to combine his food, but luckily I don't have to eat it lol
@miss paris---- WHAT? lol. Do you mean he like... shredded the chicken and then mixed it together? Seriously gagging here... blech.
@corgitales - No I'm pretty sure he cut them in two and stuck them in the blender then mixed it in with the mashed potatoes...It was bad...Like mashed potatoes with chunks of unidentifiable breading, chicken and ham. He of course thought it was delicious!
I am now very thankful that we do not have a blender...
@miss paris- omg you win. YOU WIN. (and lose) hahaha. That is soo gross. My guy is kind of clueless with cooking but he hasn't done anything that bad. Like, he didn't know how to make grilled cheese before me. He thought that the buttered side of the bread went in, so he couldn't figure out why his sandwiches were always kind of dry and gross. He also made me garlic bread by taking the pre-made frozen garlic bread, splitting it open, spreading cream cheese on it, POURING extra virgin olive oil on it, then dumping a bag of cheese over it. I'm like omg heart attack on a pan. Recently he told me it was a GREAT idea that i cook hard taco shells... he apparently just eats them raw out of the package. But nothing so bad as BLENDING chicken.
haha, new one ladies! I bought a duvet cover for the down comforter I bought awhile back and just got it today. I was putting it on and then when I finished, I was crawling into bed, and my husband said "I thought you were putting on the duvet cover?" and so, me, being confused, said "I just did..." turns out, he was totally confused and thought a duvet cover was the same thing as a bed skirt lol He also keeps calling it a "duvee" but I think he is doing that on purpose lol
This is hilarious! I am still laughing over Miss Paris' man! MMM mmm good! I don't think however Campbell's is looking for a "chunky mashed potato fried chicken" soup though.
Ted's done a few things. But my fave is looking in the man's refrigerator. Oh my gawd. It's got stuff that has needed to be thrown away like 3 months ago.
He's always like "well it doesn't LOOK bad. Is it bad?"
This is hilarious! I am still laughing over Miss Paris' man! MMM mmm good! I don't think however Campbell's is looking for a "chunky mashed potato fried chicken" soup though.
Ted's done a few things. But my fave is looking in the man's refrigerator. Oh my gawd. It's got stuff that has needed to be thrown away like 3 months ago.
He's always like "well it doesn't LOOK bad. Is it bad?"
In Mr. Paris' defense, he can actually cook and does know how to follow a recipe. I seriously have no idea what came over him that day! I think he saw the blender and felt inspired!
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So, tonight we're having meatloaf for dinner. I got it ready today before I left for work and stuck it on a plate in the fridge. I asked hubby if he could put it in the oven on a baking sheet when he got home so we don't have to eat at an ungodly hour. You know how meatloafs are kind of rounded at the top, like a loaf of bread is? Well, I got home and checked on my meatloaf and it's upside down in the oven... lol So I asked hubby if he just flipped the plate over and he's like, "yeah, so?" hehehe. Silly guys. Good thing I'm not feeding anyone other than us so its not like it has to look nice lol
Any clueless things your guy has done?