Post # 1
Hey ladies I’m a newbie, but I am really in need of some friendly advice.
My SO and I have been talking about getting engaged, so now that it is in the works for soon, he had let me in on some details and decisions regarding my ring.
He informed me that my mother went and got permission from my grandmother to allow me to have my great grandmother’s (whom I was VERY close to as a child) engagement ring, but he has me to decide if I want to just leave it the way out is, or have it reset.
I honestly don’t know what to do, I don’t remember at all what the ring looked like, it’s just the fact that it was hers that makes it so special to me. When I had initially asked my mom if she would find our for me if I could have it, I figured I would just use the diamond, but now I’m not so sure.
I don’t want to look like a pushy brat, who just wants something new, but it makes me nervous having a 60 year old setting that I may potentially lose the diamond, for years and years of wear on the prongs. Also I know my gram would just want me to do what makes me happy, just knowing one of her babies had it would make her smile.
Post # 3
Take a look at the ring yourself to see if u like the style. if not, reset the diamond.
Have a jeweler look at the ring if you like the style to make sure it’s still securely set.
Post # 4
I think you should re-set it if you don’t like the setting it’s in, and if you DO like it, have the jeweler just double-check the wear.
I am biased, because I have an heirloom diamond in a new setting! 🙂 But that’s the tradition in my family–4 different brides have had this stone, with 4 different settings!
Post # 5
I’m just not sure I’m going to be able to see it prior to, I’m allowed very limited information and I’m really not “supposed” to know I know things when it comes to my family.
Thank you both for the lovely comments I don’t feel so bad wanting to have it reset now, just have to keep sleeping on it and hope I know what gram would want me to do.
Post # 6
@JMH_CLL: Maybe have him propose with the original setting? If you do like it – take it to a jeweler for some fixing up. If you don’t like it – have it reset!
Post # 7
Regardless of what you decide to do, make sure you keep the original setting. At some point you may regret not having or knowing what the vintage ring was. With the old setting kept, either someone else in the family can use it or see it, or you could even have it remade in new materials. When the old setting is gone, it is gone, so even if you have the stone reset (no harm in that – lots of people do that), just have the jeweler return the original setting.
Post # 8
A jeweler should be able to look at the ring and asess if any of the prongs are loose or if the setting is at risk to lose the stone. If it’s getting too worn they can repair the specific prong and you’re good to go. I have several heirloom rings and I try to take them to a jeweler about once a year to get them cleaned and check the settings. They can also bulk up the band if it is worn thin. So the logistics of wearing an old ring can be pretty easily overcome.
The question of whether or not you would like this setting is totally different and very personal. For me, we were combining two heirloom rings into mine, so while I kept the large majority of the setting, I did get rid of one tiny piece that I didn’t care for to make room for the stone from the other ring. Is it important that he propose with the exact ring you will wear? He could always propose with the ring as it is and you could have it reset afterwards if you want a different setting. Personally, I saw the two rings before the proposal and had a vague idea how the ring was going to look at the end, but didn’t see the actual ring until the proposal and it didn’t take anything away from the proposal at all! And I absolutely adored my ring then and now! The center stone is from my great-grandmmother’s e-ring and the settting is from my husband’s grandmother’s e-ring:
Post # 9
@JenGirl: that is gorgeous, and see? Lol this is why I knew I needed to come here and I ask. I didn’t think about him proposing with it that way and taking it after cause he was talking about having it sized before the proposal and everything. It’s definitely something to talk about.
You ladies are awesome. I’m loving all the input. Definitely feeling more at ease on the situation. Cause the rush of emotion when he told me and asked that question was so overwhelming.
Post # 10
@JMH_CLL: Good! The key is to just keep an open eye about it. Proposals don’t need to follow a set script, they can be formed to fit each couple!
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@JMH_CLL: yup I agree, just take it in after he proposes (!!) and see what the jeweler thinks. Someone who specializes in antiques or at least has a lot of experience would be ideal.
I also wear my great-grandmother’s (and then grandmother’s) ring! I never knew her but I love having that piece of family history. My jeweler recommended we have the platinum prongs rebuilt because they were pretty worn after 100 years of use, and now it’s as good as new.
But I’m sure your great grandma would want you to wear it in the way you’ll love it most, even if that means getting a new setting more to you taste, etc 🙂
Post # 12
Honestly, I would look at the ring and if you don’t like the setting, don’t use it. We have a lot of heirloom jewelry in my family, and I would not feel comfortable resetting most, if any, of it. If you do like the setting, why not take it to a jewler that specializes in reservation/restoration and have them make sure that the setting is sound and really ready to go?
An early Congrats though!
Post # 13
@JMH_CLL: can’t wait to see it when you get it! Echo pps-see what you think after looking at the original setting again. I guess it depends if you like vintage! I have an heirloom stone but a new, simple, modern setting. Best of both worlds!!
@howsweetitis: four?? That’s really cool!! 🙂
Post # 14
@JMH_CLL: I have an heirloom diamond, which we chose to have remounted into a bezel setting which our jeweler felt was safer for every day wear, especially since I’m an outdoorsy type. My FI had a beautiful tourmaline set into the original mounting and I now have that for a RHR.
I hope you will post photos of your ring!! Happy times!!
Post # 15
I have my grandmother’s diamond. When DH walked into the jeweler with the original setting, the woman practically grabbed it from him and ran in the back. The setting was apparently covering most of the diamond so it looked so much bigger (I don’t really remember the original setting) and the specs were better than we thought. Also two prongs were loose so it was good to take it in.
Post # 16
I have an heirloom diamond in my e-ring. It is one of the diamonds from my FI’s mother’s originally 3-stone e-ring. Having the diamond and putting into a new setting was still very special! He bought his mom a blue saphire to replace the diamond which was nice, and we’re starting a tradition together.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just using the diamond!