Heirloom Ring: Giving it back for other family members.

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: What would you do?
    I would just buy a band to go with the heirloom ring, and get over it. : (5 votes)
    9 %
    I would buy an engagement ring now (not wear it) and find a band to match it. : (23 votes)
    40 %
    I would buy an engagement ring before the wedding and start wearing it instead. : (25 votes)
    43 %
    Other (please explain below) : (5 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    Not sure if this is feasible, but I suggest maybe buying an ering & band to match now but keep the ering in a safe until you have to give up the heirloom ring.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Personally I’d skip using the family ring and pick out a set you want. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @mixtaperomance:  +100

    Buy the set now, get married with the heirloom, and use the set you selected after you get married!

    Post # 7
    Member
    9529 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’ve never heard of this but I think it’s kind of a cool tradition. Do you actually like the heirloom ring? If so I would use it. Then you can get a new ring when it’s time to pass it on. As for the wedding band, as long as it isn’t made to fit an odd shape in the heirloom ring, I think you’ll be fine. Or just get a cheaper one and then you can get a new one when you get a new e-ring. Which would be a perfect time for a vow renewal!!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MoodyFoodie:  I wouldn’t use a family ring I had to share.  I have never heard of this.  It’s not a gift if you don’t get to keep it.  An heirloom ring is one you pass on when you die, like Will giving Kate his passed mother’s ring. This sounds like a selfish and slightly odd tradition.  Get your own ring now so the ring in your wedding photos is yours.  I want to marry my husband wearing the ring I will have on for the rest of my life.  That means something to me.  Thus, I would not be ok with this tradition. I think if your family gets mad at you for wanting your own ring that they are being super selfish.  You are your own person and get one life.  Live it how you choose.

    Post # 10
    Member
    682 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’d get a set you like that he can propose with and you can get married with that will be your official ering/wedding ring. 

    Maybe use it as a RHR for awhile? You’d still be able to use it at the ceremony, especially if it’s small/simple like you say.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3424 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MoodyFoodie:  if  I were you I would get a plain-ish (solid) band that matches the ring you have currently.  depending on how much projected time you have with the ring before you have to give it up you could get a ring to suit those purposes until that time.  When you do have to part with the ring it opens you up to getting a brand new Bridal Set. Buy the rings whenever you have the money to dedicate to the purchase. 

    Btw you can always get a “stunt ring” for now if you want a shiny

    Post # 15
    Member
    2807 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @MoodyFoodie:  Okay so this sounds kind of neat and interesting but also like the story might end at some point since you say the rest of the cousins may not pass it on.  Since as the generations go on this might get sort of tricky the tradition may need to be modified.

    For instance you could keep it going in future generations by:

    1.  Someone in your family wants to propose to their significant other, they ask the last person who was proposed to for your grandmother’s ring and propose with it.  Then they go out as a couple and pick out a ring set, your grandmother’s ring goes in safe until the next time someone proposes.

    2. Same as #1 except the right is brought back out for the wedding ceremony and worn on the right hand (as a something old, borrowed etc) then put away for safe keeping.

    3. Someone in your family wants to propose to their significant other, they ask the last person who was proposed to for your grandmother’s ring and propose with it.  Then they go out as a couple and pick out a ring set, your grandmother’s ring stays on the person’s finger til the wedding.   After the wedding they wear the new ring set then put away your grandmother’s for safe keeping.  

    4.  Someone in your family wants to propose to their significant other, they ask the last person who was proposed to for your grandmother’s ring and propose with it.  Then they go out as a couple and pick out a plain wedding band to go with it, your grandmother’s ring stays on the person’s finger til the next person proposes and at that point you just wear the band or get a new ring.  (Imagine how much you could save for a ring between here and then!)

    I think your family should be more flexible with the tradition if they want it to continue.  You should maybe discuss with them how you are feeling and see if I modified version of the tradition would work for both them and you.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    How about you wear grandma’s ring as your engagement ring, you and FI pick out a killer blingy standalone wedding ring, then transition grandma’s ring to a RHR until it’s new owner is tapped.

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