Heirloom Ring: what if I don't like it?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 5
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Could you have the diamond re-set into something that works for you?

 

Post # 7
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Go see it!if you don’t like it, use components of your mother’s sets?

Post # 8
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

You could go to see it and if you don’t like it you could tell her that you had already decided to have something from your mum re-set. From what you say, she sounds like a practical and down-to-earth woman, so I don’t think you should be as afraid of offending her as you are. Of course you should not say that the ring is hideous and that you wouldn’t want to be within 10 feet of it ever again, but you can be gracious and thank her and tell her a white lie and I think she will be fine. 

Post # 9
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If she says it doesn’t bother her if you don’t use it, why don’t you believe her?  If someone told me that, and you even said she’s very practical, then I think there isn’t any problem just telling the truth if its not your taste.  Say its not your taste/style.  Easy!  I think you are making this a lot harder than it has to be and needlessly worrying yourself.

Personally in our family e-rings are passed down to be made into other jewelry or worn as RHR – not used again as e-rings.  I think most women understand wanted a e-ring that is yours and yours alone – and having one that fits your style.

Post # 10
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

My ring is actually an heirloom from my FI’s great aunt that he got through his mother as well! I had a sneaking suspicion that the ring would be an heirloom from his side of the family, and I had elaborate strategy sessions with myself, in my head, about what I would do if I hated it. Why don’t you say something like, “FMIL, although the ring is beautiful, it is not my style. Even though it won’t work for me, I am so honored by your willingness to share a family heirloom with me, and I feel so lucky to be a part of your family, no matter what ring I end up wearing.”Acknowledge her very sweet gesture, and let her know that it’s nothing personal!

You are so lucky to get to see the ring first. Mine is from the same era (probably 1920s), and I can say that rings from the 20s-40s are usually GORGEOUS. I was lucky enough that my ring literally checks off every little thing I had on my mental ring wish list, but I was hoping for an antique from that era.

Post # 11
Member
5483 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MadameX:  What I would do is tell her you’ve already been offered and decided to use your own mother’s ring, but sure, you’d love to see her ring as well. That way, if you don’t like it, she didn’t expect you to take it. But if you DO like it you can “change your mind” because hers is so beautiful and use your mom’s for a RHR or whatever.

Good luck!

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