Post # 1
So, I was given FMIL’s original wedding set that FFIL proposed to her with straight out of college, still totally broke. I love it. Seeing as how FI and I are at a similar place in our lives as they were, it’s fitting. It’s exactly what I wanted in my engagement ring. My only issue with it is that the center stone is not the best quality. When it comes to the 4 Cs, the most important one for me, by far, is clarity. Followed by cut, color and carat in that order.
I was trying to explain to FI that I wanted to get a new stone, same size, just better quality for this ring. He immediately said no, because it’s his parents’ ring and has a lot of sentiment and memories attached to it, stone included and he wants it to stay completely intact.
I could understand that if it was a solitaire or if the stone was the focal point of the ring, but it’s not, the shape of the metal is the most important feature of the ring.
If it were up to me and only me, I’d replace all the diamonds in my rings with ones of better quality so that they shine more. I feel like the poor quality coupled with their size and the setting just sort of makes them ignorable and I want them to stand out.
So, bees, in an heirloom ring, what’s more important to you, the stone or the setting? Does it “ruin” the meaning to place a solitaire stone into a new solitaire setting? Or, as in my case, replace the plain stone in an elaborate setting? Should it be kept completely intact always? What do you think?
Post # 3
Honestly, I don’t think I would tweak an heirloom because in my opinion it does take away the significance.
Post # 4
I would not feel comfortable changing an heirloom ring. Especially if it is from your Fi’s family and he is the one saying no to changing, I think it wouldn’t be appropriate. You take away the significance of having a piece that is passed doen if you alter it.
Post # 5
My opinion is that an heirloom ring should not be touched, and in fact I think it’s rude or backhanded to do so.
Post # 6
@pixiecat: @frommisstomrs.: I’m not going to change it without his consent. We’re already going to alter it anyways by adding my band to it. It’s his mother’s engagement ring/wedding band soldered together. The band FI and I picked out will be soldered to it as well. He just doesn’t want to get a better center stone.
Post # 7
@HonoraryNerd: Oh, well I think adding your band to it is fine!
Post # 8
My ring was my FI’s grandmother’s that she passed down to him before she passed away. It is a gorgeous 1 carat diamond. However, the setting was just a plain yellow gold band. Yellow gold is not me at all 🙁 I would not have been happy with the yellow gold band so thankfully his family was okay with me changing it.
Post # 9
I think you should keep the stone, or keep the ring intact, but you don’t have to do both. I would be fine with you replacing the diamond if I were your so, as long as you gave it back to FMIL. That way you could both have a bit of her ring.