Post # 1
So recently a guy added me to facebook. Not just any guy but my childhood BEST FRIEND. Literally BEST friend. We did everything together. We lived right next door to each other. I even ate breakfast with him at his house. If he checked out of school early so did I, because I stayed at his house after school until my mamaw would get home from work. But when I moved about an hour away with my mother I stopped seeing him.
Anyways, to the point. My husband and I have been together since high school. So his friends are mine, mine are his point blank. He has no problem with my talking to this childhood best friend, none at all. So we have been talking. Nothing out of the ordinary. Alot of talks about old times, how we miss each other and now recently how we would like to see each other in person to hang out and catch up. We (my husband, myself and this friend) are all in our early 20’s. When I mentioned this to my husband he said no way. I asked why because I know he trusts me, he always has all the years we have been together. He said it wouldn’t look right for me having lunch with him or anything along those lines and he doesn’t trust other people.
I would never and have never cheated on my husband, at all. He has never cheated on me, at all. We have never ever had any trust issues at all in our entire relationship. So I don’t understand.
My point of this post is to get some insight and some advice to what you ladies or men would think if:
Your man or woman never had a friend of the opisite sex your entire relationship then all of a sudden wanted to recidnle with an old friend? Am I or is my husband in the wrong?
Post # 3
That is ridiculous. I would not be with someone who told me I could not have catch-up lunch with an old friend.
Post # 4
from your point of view, I understand and I agree it’s innocent and you should be able to go. BUT I know my Fiance would not be okay with this, for example. You said you don’t have any other male friends? Then this would be very out there and hard for him to adjust to. I know my Fiance totally trusts me but at the same time he still doesn’t like me hanging out with guys he doesn’t know. Sooo… Idk. Maybe your friend could come over for dinner or you could all go out to eat one day?
Post # 5
Oh and please let me add after the fact my husband cried a little and said he didn’t want to upset me. But like I said this is a total first for us. He has never told me I could not do something.
Post # 6
If my Fiance wanted to meet up for dinner or lunch with some chick out of the blue, that he hasn’t seen since he was a child….Ummm no. It’s not appropriate imo. Double date or something like that, but otherwise no. A lot of guys could care less if you are married, at all (and your husband knows that, I’m sure).
I think if your hubby has a problem with it, you should respect him and his wishes and not meet up with this dude from your childhood.
Post # 7
@loving_life: This is what I am thinking, too. I have never had any guys friends (by choice) other than his guy friends. So its very new to him.
Post # 8
I don’t think I’d be ok with being told I couldn’t do this either. What about all having lunch together? That seems like a good compromise
Post # 9
I would be uncomfortable if my SO went out with another woman out of the blue whom I’d never met before. If he asked me to go out with the two of them to meet her I would be 100% ok with that.
Post # 10
I don’t see the problem with you catching up with an old friend at all, male or female. I mean seriously you want to have lunch with your old friend and chat, not get busy in the backseat of a car with him geez. I would make it clear to your husband that being able to catch up with your old friend means alot to you, it will be completely innocent, and that you would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship so he has nothing to worry about. If he still insists no it may be worth exploring more in councelling why he feels this way. I could see it becoming a bigger issue if not addressed.
Post # 11
I would suggest a catchup WITH your husband there… Or even a group type thing… Ok maybe your husband would get bored with the reminiscing but then he knows that’s all it is.
Post # 12
Post # 13
Definitely respect his opinion – he’s your number one! My Darling Husband and I have discussed these scenarios and have always said we’d invite the other to come along too. Ask your Darling Husband if you can invite this friend out for a simple lunch or maybe a drink and you can all get to know each other. Hopefully that would make your Darling Husband more comfortable and who knows! Maybe your Darling Husband and this old friend will really like each other!
Post # 14
OP, your post worries me b/c your man is sounding really controlling. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to go have lunch with this old childhood friend. The fact that your husband thinks it wouldn’t look right for you to have lunch with another guy is really odd. I think lunch is completely benign. Now if the childhood friend wants you to go with him to a romantic restaurant on a Saturday night or something like that, that’s different. What’s wrong with getting lunch?? I just had lunch yesterday with a guy friend of mine. NBD.
Post # 15
I agree, I would pretty upset if my FH did not “allow” me to see an old friend – especially for something like lunch.
Post # 16
@beinhiding642094: You are going to have to go out to lunch with members of the opposite sex eventually, I know I do for work. They are friends as well. You guys might as well get used to this senerio now.