Post # 1
Good Morning to the Encore boards! Although a BIG fan of weddingbee since before I got engaged last year, this is my first time to interact with the boards. I LOVE seeing all of the conversations "buzzing" around, and I especially appreciate that there are other encores out there!
My groom and I are BOTH encores, with somewhat similar stories. We both knew that we were making a mistake when we made it the last time around, but like everyone else, we had our reasons. This time around, things are completely different. We’re both sure of what we’re doing, we couldn’t be happier, and we don’t really care that it’s against the grain to plan a big celebration! We are in love, doing this for the right reasons this time, and ready to share our joy with our loved ones and friends.
I have struggled to find other encore brides out there, so I’m thrilled to find this community. I do have a personal blog, if you click on my profile, I listed it there if you’d like to follow along.
Be patient with me as I "learn the ropes" on the boards, and I can’t wait to "meet" you all back here on the boards!
Post # 3
Welcome! My FI and I are both encores, in fact it is the thrid wedding for both of us! I really didn’t have big weddings the first two times, less than 2 dozen guests at the first one and just the groom and myself for the second one. This time I am having a "real" wedding. This is celebrating more than our marriage, but a whole new beginning. My daughter and only child died a few years ago and I was devastated and very depressed for several years. Then my sig other dumped me for a bar skank. I guess grieving spouses do not make for good company. My FI’s second wife died of liver cancer and he was depessed for several years. Both of us were prodded by friends to start interacting with the world again and then FI and I found each other.
However, since both FI and I are older – we are doing things a bit differently. I am doing a vintage theme – a champagne dress, victorian lace boots and a veiled victorian tea hat. My bridesmaids are wearing burgundy braja dresses and the menfolk are wearing dark grey suits and burgundy ties. We are having a Friday early eveing wedding at one of the gardens at the college where I teach with light refreshments afterwards at the college’s conference center. Then we are ghaving a casual pig roast the following day. And the wedding is less than 4 weeks away! YIKES!
So welcome once again and good luck! Don’t let others dictate how your wedding should be – do what you want!
Post # 4
Welcome to the weddingbee boards and to the encore board! I’m an encore bride to be and so is my guy.
You’ll find there really aren’t any ropes around here to learn! We’re happy, a fun bunch, filled with creativity and no pressures.
I don’t really think that having a second wedding is "against the grain" since there are millions of people marrying each year who are encores and our statistics reflect this. It is not that we are not having having weddings, it is instead imho, that we’re somewhat LEFT OUT by the wedding industry. Maybe we don’t fit in with the whole "happily ever after" thing. I dunno. I DO know that about a year ago when my guy and I first realized "hey..this is forever!!!" and he told me that we were heading down the path towards marriage, I googled second weddings.
Gasp. After googling that I came across a site where there was a woman wearing something worthy of a frumpy MOB and THAT was supposed to be what I wore at my second wedding. Um…NO! Then I looked around some more and found nothing. Until I began reading InStyle Weddings, I realized that second weddings are gorgeous, glamorous, or rustic, or on a beach and could be any style at all! But that it is a reflection of the couple and it doesn’t matter if it’s your first or if you are Liz Taylor. I saw in that magazine some gorgeous celebrity encore weddings and then began researching and found many famous couples were encore couples in fact!
That made me want to change things around a bit. Which led me to begin a blog (just revamped mine about 2 mos ago) and finding this place and that I wasn’t the only one. But I give the credit to Mrs. Bee and Mr. Bee for seeing the real need for encore brides to have their own spot to give their voice to and to discuss the unique situations (we do definitely have our own issues as encores) here and to bring us out in the open!
Enuf said. Let’s have some fun! Bring all your ideas here, your thoughts, and we’ll be there!
Oh and CONGRATULATIONS to the both of you!
Post # 5
Welcome! MY FI and I are also both encores. Our wedding will be at my father’s house, no attendendents, just our two boys (his, 16 and mine, 5) at the altar with us. We are having about 60 people, and I can’t wait. We are getting married in less that 3 weeks. Enjoy the planning and have fun. This board is wonderful, and a big help when you feel like you’re the only one. Best wishes to you both!
Post # 6
Thanks for the welcome everyone!
Bellenga, I think that you said it better than I did. It’s not that second wedding are against the grain, but just not as focused on. That’s a great way to put it. I did the same thing, and kept googling different phrases that all meant the same thing, just certian that I was missing something. There is a bit of focus now on second (or third or fourth) weddings, but really not that much. And you’re right, the encore board on weddingbee (thanks to the Bees) is the best source of information and community that I’ve found so far.
That’s what inspired me to do my blog too, so we have that in common as well. I hope that I can reach out to other encores out there to let them know that this is THEIR day, and it’s all about YOU (and your fiance) and what YOU want, not what someone else tells you is appropriate.
I had no initial support from my family this time around, but it has gradually improved. I still get frustrated, but what can you do? My friends, our friends, they all support us and LOVE that we’re celebrating this day, OUR DAY, in style. And that’s what it’s truly about – a celebration of who you are as a couple. Whether that translates into a small, intimate wedding or a big, ole’ barnyard bash…it’s all about you finding someone that makes you want to start again. Which is kinda similar to what bluespurrs had to say…
Good luck to you sea otter, as you approach the last few weeks of craziness – we’ll all be there soon. Let us know if we can do anything to help!