(Closed) Hello! first-time post from a long-time lurker about progress and anxiety! LONG

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Wow, that’s a long post! I’m impressed. I can’t say that I have much advice, just because the situation is so intensely personal and has so many variables. Personally, kids have always been a certainty for me, so I would never have gotten into a relationship with someone who didn’t want to have them. Therefore, I TOTALLY understand the feeling of wondering whether it makes sense to move forward with someone who may not have the same agenda. That being said, it doesn’t seem like that’s quite your situation. I think the point is that you love him immensely, and you’re both in a position where you can IMAGINE your lives without kids. So I would stick with it. The fact is that there is just as much of a chance that HE will change his mind as there is that you will. Who knows? Maybe two years from now he’ll be the one who wants kids and you’ll be the one wanting to jet around the world. So I guess my advice is don’t give up on something so special just for fear that something will change in the future. It may be an issue later, but it may not. I think it’s worth the risk.

Post # 4
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

First of all–Welcome to Weddingbee!  Hope you continue to enjoy your time here πŸ™‚

I hope that writing this out has been very helpful for you.  It seems like vocalizing and expressing your thoughts can not only help clarify them, but help personal resolutions to start to arise.

Kids is a huge and important decision, but I can see how your fear of it changing your relationship can influence your thoughts about having kids altogether.

The most amazing thing about marriage is that if you continue to work at, you become closer to each other more alike.  Keep communicating (about the big and little things) and remember that both of you will change over the years.  You have probably more than half of your life left to live–that’s natural!

Sometimes its hard for us to not over-thinking these things thought, and its good for you to spend some time on them, but don’t let your mind get carried away

The topic ‘Hello! first-time post from a long-time lurker about progress and anxiety! LONG’ is closed to new replies.

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