- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
So, I know that this may make me sound like a selfish brat…. but I just need to vent…
We are having a very very very low-key wedding. Total, I believe it will all end up being around 5k. I’ve done a TON of DIY, bargain-hunting, etc. Nothing about our wedding is over the top… But we’re happy with what it is becoming.
His parents are giving us a total of about 1000. His sister is giving us about 300 as a gift, but to help out with the reception (alcohol). My mom has bought my dress and is paying for the majority of the catering. My dad……… has bought a few boxes of christmas lights.
I’ve NEVER been a person to expect anything, feel entitled to something, ask for something extravagent. BUT, I do feel very hurt that my dad hasn’t helped out more with the wedding.
He likes to be updated on what’s going on with the wedding, and is supportive of it all….. emotionally…. but just has not at all offered to help pay for Anything. I was talking to him about how much is left to be paid for (which, we’re really doing WELL…. I need to pay for a small tent, some misc. flowers, church donation, and gifts for one another…. we’re really dwindling it down. I thought MAYBE he’d say something like, oh well… let me help you with that…. But nope.
I’ve even given him a few jobs (make a playlist on itunes so we don’t have to get a dj… which he already has one from my college graduation that could be tweaked)….. Find some speakers for the reception….. when I asked him if he has done it (I asked months ago)…. he tried to lie about it… and then just told me NO. He IS a procrastinator, and doesn’t understand why I’ve been planning a wedding for a year…. he thinks it should all be done in like…. a month.
Last summer he and I got in a big fight over something unrelated. Long story short, it was semi wedding related and he went on and on about how he hoped that he could help out with the wedding b/c “it was his job as father of the brie”, “he’d feel awful if he didn’t help with the wedding”, “it’s his responsibility to pay for part of the wedding”… Nothing has been said about it since then….
As I look at my invitations, we chose to list all of our parents on the top lines… My dad’s is, of course first. It honestly makes me very upset. I would never redo them, they were made the way that they were b/c that’s what I wanted… regardless of who pays what…. But I almost feel like it implies that he should recieve just as much credit as the other 3 parents.
I know my dad is not just sitting on a pile of money…. But, I also know that he and his gf go out to dinner every night. Basically, I know that money isn’t just running out their ears…. but it isn’t completely tight either. It’s just frustrating to me.
But… am I completely wrong in being hurt that my dad hasn’t offered Any money when we are along with all of the other parents sacraficing quite a bit?