(Closed) HELP!!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh my goodness!!! NO! You are not being unreasonable at all! You have been working SOOOO hard on this wedding and now all he wants to do is throw it all away on a “free vaca/wedding” in Vegas??? HECK NO GIRL!!!! 

Have you sat him down and told him how you feel about it?

Post # 4
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am SOOOO sorry you’re having to deal with this! 

I kind of have two sides to this…

1) about a month before our wedding we were still finalizing things with our 2nd venue because our 1st canceled and we had to start all over from stratch, we had family issues on both sides that also caused a LOT of stress.  Finally an arguement with a family member tipped the stress cup, I had a little fit and was like screw this, we got our deposit back from the first place, let’s go to Italy and elope.  My husband, then FI, flipped out and really wanted to do the whole thing with the families and all of that.  So after a while and a lot of talking each side of the coin, I calmed down, and was like you know what this isn’t about our families coming together, this is about us.  So I was like, if anyone tries to cause issues from that point forward, that I had a f-you attitude about it.  Everything ended up working out.

2) it worries me that your hubby is saying that you’re being spoiled and selfish…I don’t see that as being very supportive during an already stressful time.  While I don’t necessarily think just because you’re a bride that you should get whatever you want…I do think that if you want a wedding at all, that you should have that. 

Maybe talking with him about your reasons would help him understand why you want this.  But I’d be concerned about my future hubby telling me I’m being selfish and spoiled over something like this…

Post # 5
Member
4510 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s not cool that your FI is calling you selfish and spoiled over this, nor is it ok that he’s willing to pull the plug on your wedding plans because of some family drama. That is extremely unfair to the guests who are planning to attend your wedding in November, and honestly it just seems like an immature way of handling a difficult family situation.

Your FI’s brother’s issues with his family will persist after the wedding–and if it’s not that, SOME kind of drama will crop up–wiil your FI always handle these situations by betraying you for the sake of enabling his brother’s dysfunctionality? He should be confronting this head on, telling his brother that he (brother) needs to work out his issues with the family so that he can attend the wedding.

I would be very upset and alarmed by this. 

Post # 7
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I can understand his side in that it’s like enough is enough, screw this!  However, it was more like I’m done with everyone else making it about them, I want it to be about us.  But it wasn’t just one issue with ours.  It was a LOT of different issues (venue canceling, sibling issues on both sides, parental issues, and a bunch of other things).  But through everything we were there for each other.

In this situation however, I feel like if he is willing to get married in Vegas because his bro says so…that’s a concern.  At that point he is putting his family, specifically his brother, ahead of you.  That is my main issue with all of this.  Have you spoken to him about priorities with family, future family, etc?  Like this is one day, what about all the future family holidays?  Are y’all not going to celebrate with your or his family (minus his bro) because his bro won’t be there?

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