- 6 years ago
Ok, so first time poster here, and posting for my future bride who is stressing greatly. Long story short, we just got engaged May 29/2012. Since a huge wedding is out of our means, her father has volunteered to pay for the wedding, but he wants all his family there and now an additional 40 friends (some of these friends make sense, such as the brother of the bride’s godparetns, etc, we are worried he is planningo on inviting all his college drinking buddies that we don’t know). The issue with the family is that he is one of 14 children, and the family is huge! Her dad’s side alone is 130 people (this includes the roughly 30 kids all her cousins have who we don’t have to invite, but still, there’s a solid 100 people on her dad’s side we have to invite). Her parents are split, and she doesn’t get a long with most of her dad’s side, but is close with a few aunts/uncles and cousins that we were going to invite anyways.
She has tried talking to him about this, as a “aunt and uncle so and so have never actually talked to me, we never visited them, i basically only know them by name” but we still have to invite them. Same with his friends. Even though she may know some of them, only a small handful of them she actually would know and see on a semi-regular basis.
He has now asked that she invite all her mom’s old friends, most of whom her mom doesn’t even see anymore.
He’s also wanting an open bar for the whole event, and believe me, these people drink! Most of this isn’t what we want, we want a smaller, intimate wedding, and we would like to be able to at least get around and try our best to say hi to everyone over the course of the day (yes, I understand how difficult this will be). In short, how do we stop my future father in law from taking over the wedding? Everything we try to discuss this with him, his only response is “well I’m paying for it, don’t worry about the money.” if he wants to pay for his only daughters wedding, great, but he isn’t willing to give her what she wants. Help!