Post # 1
I am new to this site and I hope I’m posting this in the right place.
I really need some advice as my head is about to explode.
I am getting married on the 26th of April, which is in 17 days and I have a major problem :-(. I have 4 bridesmaids, one of which is my h2bs youngest sister. She has 2 small children with her partner and got engaged the week before us and has been a nighmare for the last 14month’s! She has been petty and selfish and talking about me behind my back, she’s complained profusely about the style of dress and colour and her hair and shoes, infact I think she’s complained about pretty much everything to do with the wedding including the fact that I’m having cadburys purple as my main colour. I’m sure it’s just jealously because she wants to get her wedding sorted and organized but has not set a date nor started planning any part of it, I no she is excited but if I hear ‘at my wedding I’m gonna do this’ll I’ll just cry. I’m sick of it all, she has sucked the fun out of planning our dream day. I have already spoken to her less than 3 months ago as my other bridesmaids mention her lack of involvement and her attitude amongst other things.
I have no idea what to do and with less the 3 week’s until the big day, do I speak to her now and risk falling out with her and other members of my h2bs family.
I wish I could go back and just never have asked her, but we were close once.
Please help, any advice will be grateful
Post # 2
First, try not to let it bother you. I know easier said then done. But her behaviours are so out of your control…
I would chat with her. I had some issues with BM’s and i was honest, with filter, and happy i said something. Of course there is that risk of what if they disagree and there is a sh*t show because of it. But if it is starting to ruin your dream day, its worth chatting with her about. if she decideds to drop out, so be it.
If you bring this up to her in a mature manner, and she is mature, there shouldnt be an issue.
Tell her exactly what is bothering you, with kindness and just end it wth the hopes of starting fresh.
Post # 3
Sounds like good advice from the PP.
I would also mention it to my fiance; he knows her better, maybe he knows about something going on in her life that you don’t and might be able to give you a good idea of how she is going to respond.
Between the two of you, you can come up with a plan of approach. He might be the right person to call her on this rubbishy behaviour (if it were MY sibling talking shit about MY fiance, I would definitely want to to be the one to call her on it), tell her to put her big girl panties on and act like an adult.
Post # 4
fizzy.lemonades: “her lack of involvement and her attitude”? If she has a bad attitude, wouldn’t you want her to be less involved?
Just ignore her. If she wants to have a bad attitude, that’s her loss. All she needs to do is show up.
Post # 5
have your hubby to be talk to her and set her straight and tell her to use the thumper rule – If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!
It’s only 3 more weeks, then you don’t have to worry about it.