(Closed) HELP: 43 Days Away and MIL hates me (Warning: This is a long one)

posted 6 years ago in April 2012
Post # 4
Member
9612 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i am so sorry, i don’t have any advice for you 🙁

Post # 5
Member
2651 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

keep calm and carry on?

I am so sorry you’re going through this. If you don’t get any answers by the time i go to bed, I’ll bump it in the morning for the daytime bees.

Post # 6
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

Couples counselling now. The fact that your FI runs to his mommy, sister and “FGIL” (couldn’t figure that one out-sorry) about any sort of “problems” in your relationship is a HUGE red flag.  You are marrying him – not them, and it’s really nobody else’s business what happens within a marriage except the two people in it. 

Even more concerning is the fact that your FI seems to be happily sitting on the fence, relaying hurt messages back & forth. Who the F are THEY to judge you?   FFS, he TOLD you what they sh!t-talked about you? WRONG ANSWER. The right answer is for him to tell them: “Hey, that’s my FUTURE wife you’re talking about and I will not tolerate you speaking poorly of her.”  Who’s he more concerned with keeping happy? You or them? Because it can’t be both.  Ask yourself what’s the true answer to that question.  If it’s “them” – postpone the wedding. If you go ahead and get married in #2 position to his FOO (family of origin), you’ll never be treated as anything but second best. Worst case, you’ll be just the family slave/scapegoat, sex provider & baby maker because FI obviously can’t have that sort of a relationship with his Mom/Sister. Neither option is very appealing, eh?

 

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