- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Well it sucks to start off on the site this way, but I need advice from women who have gone or is going through the same thing. We’re less than 7 weeks away from our wedding day today and I found out this week that my FMIL, FSIL, and FGIL all hate me. I guess they sent him some messages and have been calling him to tell him to reconsider marrying me because “it doesn’t feel right” and that I will hold him back from succeeding in his career. I wish he hadn’t told me any of this because I’m now in an awkward position and don’t know how to act around them anymore.
Here’s some history:
A couple of months ago I found out he cheated on me a year and a half into our relationship. Our relationship was very rocky the first year and we we’re finally getting our bearing when this happened. He kissed a girl, nothing more, but needless to say it still hurt. I was ready to call it all off because I was in such shock and pain. I asked for a break for a few days so I can sort through it and not hurt more by seeing him. I decided to stay because a lot had happened between then and now (we had a baby, we got engaged and we hadn’t had a fight since before the kiss happened). We said we’d get through it with some counseling that he will set it up. Since then nothing has happened and I had to sit down and tell him I was scared to marry him because of the lack of initiative. He talks to his family about pretty much everything, including this and they didn’t like my reaction to ANY of it. Before all of this, I thought I had a great relationship with them and thought very highly of them. But since the fight a couple of months ago things have changed in the dynamics with them. I thought it was just me because I’ve been so stressed with the wedding and everything else. Now that these things have come out, I’m not so sure. They have been saying some pretty hurtful things and I’m not sure where it’s coming from. Just a week ago they were asking me what they can help with for the wedding and all that jazz. Now this?! I’ve never complained about him working on the weekend like MIL does, or that he had to go out of town for a couple days for work 3 days after we had a baby, that he only took 1 1/2 weeks off after baby was born (while working days here and there during that 1 1/2 weeks), I try to plan dinner according to his days so that we can eat as a family. Their concerns are so unfounded and out of left field that I can’t wrap my head around it. What do I do? I’m hurt, I’m scared to marry into a family that hates me (especially since he’s so close to them), but I love him and we have a family together. How do I get through this?