Weddingbee boards

I've totally been there. I have had two previous, serious relationships that ended up with me feeling horrible when they didn't work out. What helped me was focusing on me-- working out, exceling at work, and developing good friends.

The other thing that helped me was after I moved on enough (about 6 months), I vowed to go on 25 first dates that summer abd signed up on match. My rules were No second date unless I thought I could imagine something long term. No kissing until the second date. No physical contact until the third date. I met my SO on date number 24 and it is wonderful!

I have been there before and there is a light at the end of the dating tunnel. I'll tell you the little story of me, my ex, and my amazing boyfriend now.

Before I met my boyfriend I was with my ex, who could go from being the most amazing guy ever to a complete jerk in 2.0 seconds. He was my first love and I was head over heels in love with him, but he left me for another girl. For almost 2.5 years I pined over him remembering the good times mostly. Last year he asked for me back when my boyfriend and I broke up temporarily due to me going insane from being in a LDR. I almost said yes, but at the last minute remembered all the bad things and told him I couldn't do it. Instantly I became a "slut, whore, and bitch" again to him. Luckily my boyfriend and I patched things up though and I moved in with him a few months later. Best decision ever since I've never been happier in a relationship and I truly want to marry my boyfriend. No doubts in my mind this time around, he's it. He never belittles me, he puts me and us first in everything, and he doesn't try to change me all the time. He's happy with who I am and wants to be with me because he truly loves me and not the me he thinks he can change me into.

So my point is, you will find someone else. Work on yourself, don't settle for less than you want and deserve, and a good love will find you.

I've written my story several times on these boards, but it doesn't hurt to write it again to cheer someone up.

I started on these boards with my long time BF, now ex. We lived together for about 3 years and were together almost 4. I look at my past topics and realize how utterly wrong he was; the fact that we were trying to meld finances without being committed, the fact that he wasn't over his ex(es), the fact that even though he cheated on me I went to therapy.

My grandpa was dying, and we were drifting because I decided to play video games. It was the thing I did while mourning, because when my great-grandma (Vietnamese families are close) I was pretty bummed and isolated myself for awhile. The "addiction" was always temporary and never interfered with my academic or professional life. I just needed breathing space and be taken care of. He still expected me to clean the apartment and cook, and yelled at me if I didn't. He never asked if I was OK throughout the whole process.

My ex and I were hooked to the hip. I didn't go with him to one outing with friends, and somehow that translated to problems in the relationship. He invited an old HS friend who mysteriously popped in our lives to a charity event. I couldn't go anyways because I had work. He asked me for permission to invite her, which I thought was weird, but I think in his mind he was asking me if it was okay to pursue her romantically...because in the end that's what it boiled down to.

He claims he ran to her in the pain of our breakup. I call BS. He was no good. One of the nights he went out with her he brought back leftovers in styrofoam plates, each with his and her name emblazoned on it. I didn't have the energy to be livid because my grandpa had died. I quietly left. And I left as quickly as I could. Poof.

I moved on. It helped that he cheated, because there was no sane reason to keep trying. Even if he didn't, I knew in my heart that he was toxic. He thrived in drama. It helped to quietly walk away with my head held high. I once dragged it out with my ex-husband and knew that keeping in contact with him would have delayed my healing, so I had no reason to keep in touch with my ex BF. I didn't have to explain to his friends, to our friends, to my friends. I didn't have to peep one word of his infidelities because the only person who mattered, myself, knew the truth. I feel that this is the higher way for me to go. So I chose to.

After I had moved away, met my FI, and got engaged, my ex tried to get in contact with me crying about how I "left" him. How I was the reason for our breakup because I had instigated it, and about how he was supposed the one that I wanted to marry. I couldn't believe one thing from him. He really couldn't see why I was OK, because I did everything in my power to nourish the relationship. All he did was benefit from my hard work, and he had the audacity to contact me as if he had the right to.