Post # 1
Shameful secret time; I am a horrible, horrible gossip. I honestly never thought I was, but today at work there have been two (count ’em, two!) huge developments with two staff, and I can’t fight the urge to run telling people. Not only is this just a bad personality trait, it’s waaay worse because it’s a work-related thing!
I realize that when I gossip my behaviour is shitty, but I’m lost as to how to curtail it. How do you fight that urge? Anybody out there fighting their own little gossipy demons??? 🙁
Post # 4
@MrsRevolutionize: I’m bad, I know I’m bad. I usually tell FH these things – and I don’t he couldn’t care less and he’s probably not listening half the time. I don’t really have any advice, but it is something that’s really hard to stop.
Post # 5
Always remember…. “Those who gossip with you will gossip about you.”
Post # 6
Take a quick second to think about the negative repercussions. Loss of trust, loss of respect, loss of friendships….people recognize gossips as such, it’s hard to hide. I struggle every day because it’s SO ODDLY SATISFYING, but a conscious urge to curtail it helps. You can do it!! It’s really not worth it in the end.
People often gossip to feel better about themselves and feel popular (to be the first one to share news comes with an odd feeling of power). Know that you’re worth MORE than that and don’t need it!!
Post # 7
@MrsRevolutionize: I guess you have to ask yourself why you feel the need to tell other people. Once you resolve that, you’ll understand what drives this behavior in you and will be able to curb it more effectively.
Post # 8
There’s the old Bambi advice, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Also, I realized I was developing the same problem at work. I realized it was a result of the influence I had from the people I spent time with at work. I have put some distance there now as a gossipy group is incredibly unhealthy.
It will take time to break the bad habit, but you can do it!
Post # 9
@MrsWishyWashy: What a great saying. And painfully too true.
Post # 10
@Hyperventilate: @howtobeawife: I think part of the problem is that the group I associate at with work is also highly gossipy, so it’s very easy to fall into… sigh. You make very good points, though! Thank you for the advice.
@winstonchurchill: That’s definitely good advice, because I think I have definitely caused that to happen. Sigh.
Post # 11
I definitely have this problem, and it was magnified when I worked with someone who was a huge gossip. It’s funny, because that same person is part of what helps me to gossip less. I found out she was gossiping about me right after I got engaged, and said some incredibly hurtful and mean things behind my back, and although it didn’t ruin my engagement by any stretch, it was still pretty upsetting at the time. So now I try to remember how that made me feel before I start gossiping about someone else (not to say that it always works, but it helps).
Post # 12
@MrsRevolutionize: I completely agree with the “birds of a feather flock together” mentality.
I used to have a group of friends that would gossip ALL THE TIME. I found myself quickly becoming a gossipy type of person and really I didn’t like it. As I started to change I found myself spending less time with those people. Obviously the desire to discuss other things wasn’t interesting to them. My current group of friends discusses a wide range of topics and the most gossipy we get is chatting about the latest entertainment drama (aka Miley Cyrus).
Post # 13
@MrsRevolutionize: You just make a conscience decision to act like a grown up, keep your mouth shut and mind your own business before YOU one day become the subject of such gossip.
I mean seriously…. do you enjoy being looked at like a child because that’s what people see gossipy people as being. Juvenile little kids.
Post # 14
@MrsRevolutionize: …there’s just NOTHING worse than a gaggle of office gossips….my office has a little clique of them that used to work at another firm years ago and they have so much fun tearing apart some of the newer or less liked staff members when they aren’t around…its pretty tragic that grown women can be sooooo catty…but thats the way of it sometimes…what they don’t know is everything they cluck about in the lunch room, can be heard perfecly in mine and the bosses offices…so we’re well aware of the subject matter at lunch around here.
Post # 15
It can be really tempting to want to share juicy gossip. I do this less than I used to, but I still fall into temptation sometimes. I guess just keep the golden rule in mind. How would you feel if someone spoke that way about you? Or just envision the type of person you want to be, and how gossip doesn’t fit into that.
Post # 16
I have a select few people I talk to. It’s usually DH, because who the heck is he going to tell, and one other friend here at work. That’s about it. THat’s all I need, because it allows me to vent and get the crazies out and discuss it and be done.