(Closed) HELP! Advice needed! No kids reception(18 and younger)…

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Would you give the +1
    Suck it up and give the +1 : (8 votes)
    31 %
    Give a +1, but call the cops... : (3 votes)
    12 %
    NO NO NO NO!!!! : (6 votes)
    23 %
    That situation is just icky! : (9 votes)
    35 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8163 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would let him bring his date. Or call the police. But yeah.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    What state does he live in that a 28 year old is dating a 16 year old? I know that’s not the issue but it’s gross.

    That not being the issue I would allow it because she is a +1, she isn’t someone’s kid (although she IS a child) that they are bringing.

    Also I’d tell him to get a gf his own age.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    @Westwood- +1 “or call the police”

    This guy needs someone his own age, a 28 year old dating a 16 year old? CREEPY

    Post # 6
    Member
    5548 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Uhh I am judging. Hello creeper. That kind of age difference isn’t a big deal when both parties are above 20 or so. But a 28 year old dating a HS junior? ick. Anyway, not helpful to you. I think if you are giving other friends a plus one you need to give him one and pray no one calls the cop for his underaged date. But maybe by then they won’t be dating anyway. We can hope right? 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee

    wow, I usually don’t think of 16 or 17 year olds as kids, but when a 28 year old is dating one…well this is quite the dilemma. Umm…give him the plus 1 and don’t tell anyone how old she really is?

    Post # 8
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @Bazinga:  THIS

    How long have they been together? You can give your friends a +1, but it’s their call who they decide to bring. If anyone asks, just say he brought his girlfriend and that you didn’t ask for background info on every +1. OR, if he’s such a good friend, explain it. Explain that you haven’t invited family under 18, and you’ve decided as a general rule that you are not going to be inviting any guests under 18 and that you appreciate his flexibility and willingness to place your wishes for YOUR wedding over his own for a few hours.

    Post # 10
    Hostess
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @graygodess20:  Are you giving all of your single (non-married) guests a +1?

    Post # 11
    Member
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    well before I answered I decided to look it up, the age of consent in PA (if thats where your from) is 16 so it IS legal. Gross, IMO, but legal.

    personally I would explain that even though she is his girlfriend you have decided that noone under 18 will be at your reception so unfortunately she will be unable to attend. You can’t make an exception for him and leave family members uninvited. IF he is that good of a friend, he will understand. OR Can you take an easy out and blame it on the venue? “Said location only allows those over 18 on the premesis”

    Post # 13
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    In this circumstance, the young lady in question is not being invited as someone’s child but rather as someone’s date.  I think the better option would be to invite her, even if you find the relationship not to your tastes.  If he were dating a 26-year-old that you didn’t care for, would he still get the +1 ?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2117 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    ……….

    Post # 15
    Hostess
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @graygodess20:  No reason to hang your head! If you’re giving everyone else a +1, I think this friend should be allowed a +1 as well. It’s really the only thing that’s fair.

    I think you then have two options — either let him know that if she’s his +1, she’s 18 “for the record” that night, or just play dumb about her age in general. Hopefully, if any of your guests notice, they’ll realize it’s not your place to tell him his date is too young. Also, there’s a chance that, because she’ll be with your 28-year-old friend, people will assume she’s a young-looking late teens / early twenties.

    Post # 16
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Yeah it’s icky. But my logical side is inclined to look at the date of an adult guest as an “adult” for the purposes of the occasion. Hopefully no one will ask and no one will volunteer the girl’s age and people will just assume she’s an immature young woman, if they think anything about her at all. If you don’t want to let him bring a date because the fact that he’s dating a high schooler just plain creeps you out, that’s one thing, but I don’t know that you can stand on the “no children” defense here. 

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