Weddingbee boards

My shower is a surprise. Of course I know it's coming at some point, but I don't know when, where, etc. My mother & 2 MOH's are treating it like it's running the CIA or guarding the gates to Chernobyl or something. A few months ago Mom asked me for 25 names & addresses. From what I understand there were 3 lists combined into 1 for the guest list for the shower: mine, my mothers and FMIL's. I asked my mom politely if I could just see the list before it was finalized only because I wanted to make sure we didn't forget anyone. She refused.

I found out invites went out last week. How did I find out? FMIL called FI because one of his cousin's didn't get an invite & almost everyone else did.

One of my MOH's (aka "MOH1") is an art teacher and a graphic designer so she did the invites. FI emails MOH1 explains the situation and asks for the guest list because he wanted to check who else was missing. She emails it to him last night. He wasn't going to show me, but he figured considering the circumstances, I better take a look.

• Many names are spelled wrong (Jane is listed as Jan)
• Many names are COMPLETELY wrong (Lauren should be Laura or worse Mary Smith-Jones is simply Mrs. Smith Jones as if Smith is her 1st name)
• There are people who were on my list that I sent who are NOT on the list MOH1 sent FI.
• There are at least 3 people on the list who are not invited to the wedding.

If I mention to my mother that I've seen the guest list, and detail which things are wrong - she'll go BALLISTIC. She'd prob blame MOH1 and FI for showing me and then all hell will break loose.

I don't want to seem ungrateful or like I'm trying to be all Bridezilla-ey and take the reigns on everything, but my hands are tied. We all know that etiquette states anyone invited to the shower MUST be invited to the wedding. Inviting 3 women to the shower who are not on our orig. guest list = 6 people added to the guest list when you take into account their husbands.

FI said he's going to see if there's anything he can do to fix it, but I doubt there is.

So my question to you ladies: How would you handle it?
- OR -
WWEPD? What Would Emily Post Do?

Have you fiance tell her he compared it with your wedding guest list and found a bunch of mistakes.  That way she can't be mad at you or him for showing you lol.

Argh, how annoying and embarrassing! I'm such a control freak for this reason, no one will ever do anything as well as I can! (Mr. Roux has come to terms with this, lol. His job on our wedding day is to show up and look pretty.)

I think you asking to see the list is totally reasonable, and you had good reason because this could have been avoided!! If I were you I'd appoint MOH1 to be the middle man and sort it out, if she is hosting. Otherwise get FI involved. Whoever invited the 3 guests not invited to the wedding should have 2 choices, 1. Explain to them they aren't invited to the wedding, or, 2. Cough up the cash to pay for them and their husbands plates at the reception.

O.M.G!!! I asked FI to email me the list just to double check. The WORST offense so far??

Mrs. Maureen Jones.

1 - his name was Maurice.
2- He died in February of this year.
3 - Her name is Evelyn.

You've GOT to be f*&^%ING KIDDING ME?!?! !