Post # 1
hello there! okay so let me try to make this as non confusing as possible..
my Future Sister-In-Law (BILs wife) has an amazing family. i love her mom and dad, and me and FH used to go out a lot with her sister and sisters husband. (we just went to their wedding) well she has a brother and his wife, and we arent super close, but we see them from time to time at family functions and we do like them a lot as well. (we hadnt seen them for a long time, but the sister just got married and we saw them for all the parties and at the wedding)
we invited her mom and dad and her sister and her husband. i REALLY would love to invite her brother and his wife, but we dont have room right now!!!! =(
so now i feel like a horrible person and like they will hate us at future family gatherings. i dont want them to feel left out, and if we have room i will invite them, but im pretty sure we WONT have any room!
*we already have psychotic guests adding plus ones! and we put “we have reserved__ seats in your honor” so we are on the phone calling them and saying, sorry, we dont have room! ugh!
geez i really hate this. i wish we would have just done a destination wedding with like 50 ppl.
Post # 3
Hm, I say you invite the whole family with their SO’s, or you invite just the parents. I don’t think you can invite one sibling and not the other, particularly when you see them all at family functions.
Post # 4
I agree, you need to invite them.
Post # 5
I agree as well. Either all the siblings need to be invited, or none at all.
Post # 6
ahhh. but thats the issue. i have like no room.
and we are friends with SILs sister. so thats why they are invited, or else they wouldnt be.
Post # 7
I agree with the above bees. I understand where you’re coming from, but inviting some siblings without others is an etiquette no-no, and likely to ruin your relationships with all the members of the family.
EDIT: If you invite the one couple that you’re close friends with, that’s fine. So if you don’t have space, ONLY invite the one couple.
Post # 8
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
I seem to be in the minority here, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal. If I’m understanding correctly, they’re your SIL’s family, NOT yours. I think that it’s fine to not invite entire families if they are friends. For instance, we have some close family friends that include an older couple and their adult children (who are my parents best friends), but we are not inviting all of the adult children and their families to the wedding because we are not close to all of them. I do not think this is an issue, unless you feel like the other siblings will be upset or offended at not being invited.
Post # 9
I have to agree (sorry…I know it’s hard!).
Post # 10
i know, but now i feel bad cuz everyone already has their invites. i think they would understand they werent on the A list cuz we have huge families, but i still feel like a idiot. gosh and theres like 6 other people i need to add, but i cant!
seriously, if i could go back, i would freakin elope. all this inviting ppl drama bugs the crap outta me. there is nothing worse about a wedding i think.
Post # 11
Well…In reality it’s probably not a big deal, and even if it is, they’ll most likely get over it eventually 🙂 …What i’ve learned about the “invitation dilemma” as I like to call it, is all the things you stress over about the invites, don’t really end up being a big deal in the end…So if it’s two extra people, I say wait until you get some “no’s” and act like you sent it to them and call to confirm…when they say they didn’t get it, say OHMIGOD…I can’t believe it! I am sooooo sorry…and send them one…if they come great…if they don’t, then it’ll save you some space 🙂 but I would invite them so as not to have any hard feelings…
Post # 12
Yeah, I’m against the grain as well. This isn’t your family or FI’s family, it is Future Sister-In-Law by marriage both ways family, and you are inviting them because you just like them. This isn’t an obligation invite. I’m inviting the brother of FI’s aunt’s partner because I like him, but I’m not inviting all of FI’s aunt’s partner’s siblings. See them sometimes, but we are so far removed, no obligation exists.
Post # 13
sorry but yes, I think you need to invite them.
Post # 14
okay, so were just going to invite them and hope to the Good Lord that we have like 10 no’s, or else idk what will happen with the venue but whatever.
now is it horrible that they were on the B list?? i dont really think they have a right to be upset cuz if they are, thats RIDICULOUS because we DONT talk to them unless its at family crap and they have to know that there were other ppl closer to us before them right? oh well, if they are mad then they will get over it one day. at least they are even invited.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I’m in the group that doesn’t think it’s necessary to invite them, so your inviting them at all is a nice gesture and I’m sure they’ll appreciate it!
Post # 16
After keeping up with this thread I choose to change my vote! If you’re that upset about having to extend that invitation, it’s probably better for them if you don’t. I know that I’d rather stay home than be an unwanted guest!
I have someone on my guest that I don’t want invited, but Fiance (and some of his family does), so some people will be happy to see her at least!