Post # 1
Ok so when I was making my wedding invites I used a template on the website of the merchandise. It read Mr. and Mrs. (Last Name) Request the hounour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter (full name) to (Grooms Full name) Sat the 23 etc. All I did was fill in the information. When I showed his mother she got mad and upset that I didnt include her and her ex husband in the invites. How am I suppose to know? I have never been married before and I am young I have no idea how this is suppose to work. My mother is paying for the ceremony, reception, and flowers, and pretty much everything else except the rehersal dinner, the grooms tux, and the limo. I need advice! Im going to put their names into it but I just am blow away…..
Post # 3
I’ve been told that unless FMIL is paying for something, her and ex-husband’s name don’t belong on the invite.
Post # 4
I would ask your mom what she thinks. Since she is the one paying for much of the wedding, the invitations are coming from her.
In my situation, my parents are paying for the whole wedding, but my dad wanted to include my FILs on the invitation, and so they are.
Post # 5
Honestly, my FMIL asked the same thing the other day. She wasnt upset she was just inquiring about it. And it never even crossed my mind. ALL of the sample invites I got (about 20), DID NOT include the FILs names. We however, have already decided because both of our parents are divorced and remarried that for the sake of space.. were writting “together with their parents” … Is it too late? Is she contributing??
Post # 6
It really didnt cross my mind either I thought if you go 50/50 thats when you put both. My mother thinks that bc she got upset then we should add her. So im going to add their names somehow. I like “together with their parents” thanks so much for suggesting that! It just got me a little upset how she lashed out and said I hurt her feelings not even knowing how she felt. She saw my invites before I did them and did not say hey I would like to be included. She did however just tell me she said she offered to help with whatever so im going to hold her up to that!
Post # 7
The people who get listed are the honorees and the hosts (ie, who’s paying). So if she’s not paying, then she doesn’t get listed. Simple.
But for family harmony’s sake, you can put her and her husband’s names beneath son: “son of Mr. & Mrs. John Doe”
Post # 8
We put “daughter of…” and “son of…” under both of our names.
If you like that, run it by your parents (since they are footing the bill).
You could also just keep your wording and add “son of..” after FI’s name.
Post # 9
If your mother is paying for the wedding and you and your FI are not, I would not put ‘together with their parents’ because those first lines are reserved for the people hosting the event. And that would be your mother/parents.
It would be more appropriate to put
Mr. and Mrs. so and so
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
your first and middle name
your fi’s first and middle name
son of mr.FFIL and ms.FMIL (divorced names)
Post # 10
I say that because my parents would be ticked off if I didn’t have them as the hosts of our wedding; they are the ones paying for pretty much everything (except the rehearsal dinner, which my FI’s parents will have their names on those invites). And for reference, we aren’t putting his parents’ names on our invites, they will be like the one you showed your FMIL.
Post # 11
They way I always thought it worked was whoever is paying for it is doing the inviting. If FMIL is not helping out at all, i’d add the “to FI, son of so-and-so” exactly as @mcnetn3 put
Post # 12
@mcnetn3: Agree with mcnetn3 – this is how it can be done if your parents are paying but you’d still like to include FIL’s names on the invite. That’s too bad it got dramatic – you did nothing wrong.
Post # 13
sounds like you need to butter up your FMIL. If you mom is okay with it you can just put their names on there to keep peace and everyone happy. Since she said something it might cause some drama, at least in FMIL’s head, if you dont put her name on there. I have a friend that put both sets of parents on the invite and the brides parents got mad bc they were paying for it.
I like @mcnetn3 way of doing the invite
Post # 14
That sucks, but I agree with everybody else. Find out if your parents mind if you put their names on there, and if they’re willing to do it to keep the peace, go for it.
She should know that a wedding is “hosted” by the people who are paying though.
Post # 15
We added my in-laws names to the invites just to keep everyone pleased- my parents paid for everything. My in-laws did foot the bill for our rehearsal dinner (4 large pizza’s- not complaining, but it was seriously like 40-50 bucks) and my husband’s suit alterations which I’m pretty sure was put on a credit card in my husband’s name he had no idea they had at the time.. They are in a tough position they created.
I wouldn’t have changed our wording- I like including everyone, but if your mom wouldlike her name on the invites alone (since technnically she is the host) I’d oblige and have your fiance explain the situation to his mother. You should stay out of this discussion with your MIL and have your future husband handle her.
Post # 16
I’m in a similar situation except my invitations already went out. My mom is paying for a good chunk of the wedding and said that unless others were helping pay she didn’t want their names on the invitation or she wouldn’t give us any money. Oh and she also made a big deal about not wanting my dad’s name on there (they are divorced). We talked with my dad and he said he understood and wanted us to get the money from her so to just leave him off. We asked FIL’s if they were contributing, they asked what needed to be paid for and when they heard said “oh well sounds like you don’t need our help then” and when we tried to push it more got upset so we dropped it. So we went ahead and put just my mom’s name on the invitation & got the money from her. Well we mailed them out and when his parents got theirs his mom got upset (we did show them a sample first & they said nothing about it then). Then my dad (who has memory issues) apparently forgot he had said he was fine with it and he got upset too. We reminded my dad of the situation and he was fine, just asked to be put on the program, which we told him we had been planning to do anyways. My FIL’s are on a cruise with FSIL right now so my FI is planning to talk to his mom when they get back. Apparently he is going to tell her that if its such a big deal to her she can pay to redo the invitations & pay for a good chunk of the wedding like my mom, lol.
Goodluck with your situation, I hope you can all decided on something.