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Help asap please!

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    1.
    1,681 posts
    Bumble bee
    Soon2beeMrsM    October 2010   NY

    So I have an old friend who I recently reconnected with on facebook. She lives semi close to me and we keep trying to do a bbq or something at her house with FI & me and her & her hubby. Obvioulsy being so close to the wedding date it hasn't worked out with time etc. I got a message that included this line a few min ago:

    The wedding, right around the corner:) Maybe we can stop by and see you on your special day :) Hope you have a great honeymoon, enjoy every minute of it.

    Very nice girl and nice message but how do I respond to that? I haven't put our #'s in yet to the venue until this week but I do have the seating chart all worked out to a T. I feel like I should put an invite out there or at least something like:

    I would love for you to stop by, we already gave our numbers to the caterer for dinners, however the dancing/drinks/cake will start around 6:30 so feel free to stop by and say hi.

    ...I have no problem with paying for some drinks and the cake but full out dinner is expensive and I'd have to rearrange seating, which I literally have no room to do.

    Bees I need help, what do I do without being rude or offending or making it so we don't talk again?

     
    2.
    1,681 posts
    Bumble bee
    Soon2beeMrsM    October 2010   NY

    anybody?

     
    3.
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    911 posts
    Busy bee
    Quietserenity    October 16, 2010   Arizona

    Without knowing her, I can't say how she'd take it, but, that would go over just fine by me.  It's the politest response you can give :)

    This is assuming of course that you really don't mind if she stops by!

     
    4.
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    Member
    1,523 posts
    Bumble bee
    Allyser    September 1, 2010  

    I don't think there is a problem with that. I let my brother do that with some of his friends and it worked out fine. But keep in mind you prob won't have time to see much of them - so hopefully they understand that aspect of it. 

     
    5.
    1,681 posts
    Bumble bee
    Soon2beeMrsM    October 2010   NY

    Ok I wanted to check to make sure my response wouldn't be rude! I have no problem with them stopping by and us paying for a few drinks but dinners is totally different and rearranging seating chart is just not gonna happen.

     
    6.
    Member
    2,161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    I think your repsonse is fine.  You are taking it better than I would have.  My wedding is the week before yours and at this point I would be yelling "No STOPPING by!"  Ha ha.

     
    7.
    Member
    399 posts
    Helper bee
    junebug12    June 16, 2012   Northeast Maryland

    Your response sounds really appropriate and honest; I'm sure she'd understand!

     
    8.
    Hostess
    10,729 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    crebre80    November 20, 2010   Baton Rouge, LA

    You can also add that you would love to get together after the honeymoon when everything quiets down.... but i think your response is just fine.  sometimes people forget that they can't just stop by...

     
    9.
    Member
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    fitzly      

    Sounds pretty generous, considering. You know her best, but is doesn't sound like she was fishing for an invite.

     
    10.
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    Rocketdog    October 22, 2011  

    Yea...it seems like she just wanted to stop by after dinner and hang.

     
    11.
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    996 posts
    Busy bee
    Pia2010    November 26, 2009  

    I'd just thank her for it, and tell her you may be too busy, but lets just play it be ear and see what happens.

     

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