HELP BEES!!!!! Not inviting kids… How do I do this?!?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
406 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Nickig_4:  Our cutoff was 18 unless they were in the bridal party (which is just my 10 year old niece).

Family R has 3 kids – R is 22, E is 18 and P is 13.  R was sent an invitation to his residence.  1 invitation was sent to Mr & Mrs R & E.  They’re coming and nothing has been said about the 13 year old not being invited.

They’re also local, so it’s not really a big deal.

Post # 4
5390 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Nickig_4:  I think you can do it however you want TBH; I see no issue with an age-limit personally speaking.

We have 3 under 18s coming to the day: 1 will be 16, 1 will be 13, and the other, who is a bridesmaid, will be 11. We’re also thinking about giving the other 2 parts in the wedding so that if anyone comments we can simply say that only those with a role in the wedding were invited (no-one has said anything though, and I can’t see that happening TBH). These are the only under-18s we’re close to; a couple of our guests have babies/toddlers but we’re not close to them, and with our tight number limit, ultimately our guest list decisions were based on how close we were to people.

Otherwise, our limit is 18; for example, OH is invited 3 of his cousins, who are over 18, but not his other 3 (same mother) as they’re under 18. We had to have a cut-off somewhere and I was not prepared to cut adults who we’re close to off the list so that we can invite children we don’t know.

Post # 5
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can always say something along the lines of “Due to limited space/budget this has become an 18 and older wedding. We are sorry for any inconvience this has caused. We will happily provide help in finding appropriate accommodations/sitters for your little ones.”

Post # 6
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


I was in a similar boat…..

So we basically made it a child free wedding (18 and over) and kept it to first cousins only.  Second cousins were not invited and most people understood. 

Be prepared for backlash from some family members…… child free weddings tend to stir things up in people……..


Post # 7
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’ve only sent out our Save The Dates so far, but were very specific that they were only addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Jones” not “The Jones Family.” When we send out our invitations, we’ll again address them to “Mr. and Mrs. Jones” and we’re hoping to put the “___ seat(s) reserved in your honor” on the RSVP card so that Mr. and Mrs. Jones will see that there are only 2 seats reserved, not 3. After that, we’ll just field questions as they come. 

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