(Closed) HELP: Bizarre situation that I don't know how to handle

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Um, what grade are these people in?  This isn’t the Bad Girls Club or Real World, you don’t go kicking people out of social circles because you don’t like them.

I guess I am not sure why you didn’t call your parents before this male friend, but still — who gives a f*ck what they think?  Is your fiance marrying them?  This isn’t a polygamy and they need to grow up.  I honestly would not lose anymore sleep over it and find some new friends.

Post # 4
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee

I know FI has been supporting you.  But, if you have the sense that your FI is upset on some deeper level then I’d try to figure out how to resolve it.  If not, then I’d just let it go and be happy that as a couple you won’t have to spend much time with these people in the future.  Maybe try to find a new group to hang out with.  

Post # 6
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

They were kicking his car?? How old are the people? And then they made a hate list about you? And you are still worrying about losing these ‘friends’? Thank God these people are no longer in your life! Kudos to your FI for standing up for you!!!

Post # 7
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@eternally_confused:  I agree, it’s super dumb.  You’re human and of course you want your FI’s peeps to like you, but honestly these people do not sound rational.  What they did to your friend is called PROPERTY DAMAGE and is a punishable offense.  How about adding that to a list like, “Hi, I don’t like your cronie friends.”

 

@Arganique:  +1

Post # 8
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@eternally_confused:  Their behaviour is bizarre. Wedding 40 days after a friend – who freaking cares! I’ve known friends to marry a week apart. You don’t want to fit in with their group? Well who’d want to!

However, I do think it was wrong to call a male friend after midnight for a lift home. Even if you think it’s innocent, the guy may not. I’m glad you thought better of it and called your parents instead.

The friends’ group behaviour is really weird (kicking the car then the bizarre group session). Is there anything special about the nature of the group, e.g. a political or religious group? It’s not at all normal behaviour for a regular group of friends.

Post # 9
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP that these people are being selfish and immature. I would understand if the list included legitimate concerns, such as you are a drug addict or you are physically abusive, but the reasons they listed are absurd and contrived. You “don’t fit in with their group” is not a descriptive reason. You being “crazy” is also not a descriptive, legitimate reason. In addition, when you are of a certain age, you have no choice but to marry within months of another friend. It’s absurd to block it off to only one wedding a year or something. If that’s the case, some people would have to wait a really long time!

Honestly, he should be happy you are helping him get rid of these terrible friends. DH had some friends that weren’t great (though not as terrible as your FI’s) and now he admits he’s glad I pushed them away because they are still horribly immature and selfish.

I also don’t see what is the problem with you calling a male friend unless this male friend was a former fling/crush. If it’s just another good friend to you, then that’s that. Plus, you did try other options before resorting to calling this friend.

Post # 10
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Geez, sounds like a good thing you guys are tid of these people.

Post # 11
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is not your fault; you do not need to try and make it right. The only people at fault here are your FI’s weird ex-friends. You both are better off without them, so try not to let it get to you.  

 

Post # 12
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee

You do sound like a bit of a handful. If you can’t handle alcohol, then don’t drink. You don’t wanna wind up making a scene, do you? Also, crying easily sounds like it may be an issue. Can you try to better control your emotions and reaction? It can be emotionally exhausting to be around someone who is a loose cannon. I am not trying to be mean. It’s just important to change things about ourselves that aren’t working for us. His friends sound like immature jerks, but it seems like there may be some substance to some of their concerns.

Post # 13
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bunnyharriet:  That seems a little harsh. Based upon what the OP wrote, all of their reasons seem to be centered around a particular incident. We all drink too much sometimes and make an ass out of ourselves, so why does that make what these people did right?

Post # 16
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@eternally_confused:  There’s nothing wrong with being an emotional and a cryer. But getting drunk is bad, especially if it’s prone to make you over-emotional. The crying is fine, limit your drinking.

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