Help! Bride needing advice on bridesmaid

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I replace my bridesmaid?
    Yes, she sounds terrible : (3 votes)
    50 %
    No, continue to be good to her : (3 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Well, you haven’t really posted anything specific she has or hasn’t done so it’s hard to advise.  Did she actually tell you she is hoping you trip?  Because that is not OK. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I am assuming she is related to your fiancé in some way… if so, kicking her out is not a good option unless you want to have family strife for the rest of your married life.  I would just minimize her involvement – all she really needs to do is show up on the day of, wearing the right dress.

    Post # 6
    Member
    9 posts
    Newbee

    May I suggest that you have you have a “come to Jesus” talk with her? At the very least you owe it to her to both her and you to put everything out on the table.  Tell her what you just told us.  If she doesn’t change her behavior in regards to you, you are not going to include her in your day, but at least that way you’ve communicated with her.

    Post # 9
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee

    You haven’t told us anything about her or her behaviour towards you, so I’m going to have to say keep her. Once you’ve asked someone, there is no polite way to ask them to step down and maintain a positive relationship. If this is someone you have to be around for the rest of your life, I’m going to assume a FSIL? If so, talk to your FI and ask him what he thinks. I assume you asked her in the first place because it was important for your relationship with her; unless you no longer care about that relationship, nothing has changed so you really can’t change your mind.

    You’ve asked her, she’s said yes, so you now you live with it. All she has to do is show up at your wedding in a dress you’ve discussed and stand or sit near you during the ceremony. So long as you think she can do that, don’t rock the boat.

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