Help! Bummed and a bit resentful

Add New »

more by rosenscruggs

Help! Bummed and a bit resentful

posted 9 months ago in September 2011
1 Members Subscribed To Topic

Member

17 posts

Newbee

rosenscruggs September 17, 2011 Washington, DC

Hello Fellow September Brides,

I am having a bit of a bum out moment, so I was hoping people could provide words of advice. So we are getting married in Texas because that is where all of my fiance's family lives (We live in Washington, DC). The wedding is a 3 hour drive for most of them, but they dont have to pay for plane tickets, so we thought they would appreciate it. Well, it turns out all they want to do is complain that it isnt in the town they live in and HALF of them arent coming. Well this really makes me upset because a number of our friends from Washington, DC cant afford to come because of the flight costs. So if I would have known that his relatives wouldnt come either way we would have just planned it in DC. So now we only have 75 people coming (I had really been hoping for 100 - 120), and I am just worried it will feel empty. We have a band, and I wanted there to be dancing, and i just feel like with 75 people the energy wont be high enough.

I have been told by everyone that it really only matters that your nearest and dearest are there, but it really would have been nice to have more friends in attendance. So basically, how do I not slip into resenting his family? I dont want to look back on my wedding with regrets.

Thanks!

Danielle

9 months ago

Member

1,696 posts

Bumble bee

Atalanta September 3, 2011

I think a lot of people are dissapointed by the RSVP count. I have less than expected too about 47 and thought was gonna have 70. But it's true that it's more important for the nearest and dearest to be there.

9 months ago

Member

86 posts

Worker bee

Pree September 24, 2011 Chicago, IL

I was just about to post something on the same topic.

We live in Chicago- my family is split between TX and the East Coast, and my soon-to-be husbands family is from Ohio. He has a large immediate family (6 uncles on each side) and I have a large extended family that we needed to invite (I am Indian- so 2nd cousins are always invited!)

My venue only holds 250- and our guest list was over 300...so we decided to have an adults only wedding to limit the guests. Well now people on my side of the family are pissed, and we've had over 120 people say no-- and I'd be lucky if I could get to 140 for the wedding.

Now my parents are upset because they think I offended our family by not allowing children...but I think it's a combination of travel, back to school time and the no-kids thing.

I have the same concerns- I am hurt and upset by my family, and feel like they don't value me. We have flown around to everyone's weddings in my family and now people aren't reciprocating.

9 months ago

Member

1,107 posts

Bumble bee

Mrs.RDV September 17, 2011 Canada

I could write a very similar post right now. We are at 57 no's! Seriously. With us there will be 90 for sure. I'm still waiting on 12 ppl, but I'm thinking at the most 4 of those will be there. We invited 158 with the wedding party in that total!

We expected about 20-25 to not come and that was our ideal number, 125.

We too have a band!!

But if I had known there would of been so many no's I would of had it at the place that had and 80 person max and just invited less. It was my first choice but when we first were starting we couldn't imagine cutting our list that much, we had already cut it from over 200! Or because I do love our reception venue I would of invited more guests and we still would of hit our number.

To make a long story short! lol I feel for you! But it still is going to be a great day!

9 months ago