Help co-host baby shower or celebrate anniversary?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

The only things that this date changes are the cost of your ticket increasing and the cost of your hotel increasing. All of the other costs you cited are costs of your choosing. That said, I think this may be a matter of consciously choosing your priorities. Rather than spreading yourself thin, choose which way you are spending that particular weekend and go with it.

For me, that would be more money than I was willing to spend for a baby shower. I love my friends dearly, but that much time and expense when I have other more pressing financial priorities is just too much. I would send a fabulous gift and my very best wishes.

Post # 4
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I moved away from my home town 3 years ago.  For the first year, I didn’t say no to anything.  I flew home for everything (granted it is only 500 miles away, but an added epense non-the-less).  After awhile of doing this, I realized that I couldn’t go to my own brother’s baby shower.  It was too close to a flight I had previously taken for my grandfather’s memorial service.  It was heart breaking and I felt terrible; but I had to say no. 

The moral of my story is this: This will not be the only event you can’t make it back to.  Since you’re getting married, and if you plan to live across country from friends and family, then there are certainly going other times when this situation will come up.  It’s really all about prioritizing, planning your trips there at times when you can spend quality time with her and the baby once the dust settles and you can have the baby all to yourself. 

You will make it work for the things that mean something to you! Good luck!!

Post # 5
3833 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What if you save some money celebrating with your FI; send a thoughtful gift; and then visit your friend after the baby is born and she is ready for guests? I’m sure she’d love to spend some time one-on-one with you once she’s settled into being a mother.

If you decide to decline hosting/attending the shower, I would just tell the other hosts that you can’t make it that weekend…I wouldn’t go into your anniversary and money worries – it’s not really their business, nor their concern.

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