Post # 1
y FH and I are planning a DW. We knew the majority of friends and family would not be able to attend due to their financial situations, and we were ok with that. Some family members have been very negative calling us selfish. I know most family wont be able to attend. Should we just forget our dream of a destination wedding and elope? (my mom said eloping wouldnt be selfish but a DW is selfish to the people who cant afford to come). Or should we let those who want to come be there? I am very discouraged and need some advice! Please help what would you do? Any pros and cons of Dw or elopement?
Post # 3
@Sadihab: Have the best of both worlds…elope to a destination. 🙂
Post # 4
Some people cannot imagine getting married without loved ones looking at them.
I could not imagine getting married anywhere else but a gorgeous mountain location.
However, I couldn’t have both as my family odes not travel nor do they live anywhere cool. I opted for the destination and my family was just fine with it (actually it was preferred). A destination elopement! We got married on day 5 of our 11 day honeymoon.
I am sorry, I wish they were more supportive of your wedding that YOU want. I do know that it’s usually impopssible to try to make everyone happy so it’s best to make sure YOU TWO are happy first.
Post # 5
My FH and I are planning a destination elopement, we told our parents, siblings, and his grandma (she is the only living grandparent on both sides). We really want them with us, but other then that we don’t care about anyone else being there.
The day is supposed to be all about the two of you, not everyone else. I think to many people forget about that. It has always been my dream to elope, and he says his aunts (all 6 of them) would be devestated… He wanted a HUGE wedding. This is our compromise. The ceremony is for us, then we can celebrate later with everyone if they are still so crabby.
Post # 6
@sienna76: I wish they were more supportive too but you are right it is all about us at the end of the day we need to just do what makes us happy
@peace747: I think I will do what you are doing and invite the people that mean the most and maybe have some sort of at home celenration afterwards. If people really cared about seeing us get married they will find away to come
@OctBride-2012: Thats what we were planning to do but I would like family to join us
Thanks for the advice
Post # 7
We eloped just the two of us. He doesn’t have much family left (both parents have passed and he has no cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) but I would have loved to have my family there. In the end it was easier for it to just be the two of us because my family lives 7 hours away. We had a pro photographer to capture wonderful pictures and I had an album made for my mother. When we go down at Christmas we’re taking my family out for dinner to have a belated celebration.
Post # 8
A DW is like eloping and just saying “Hey, if you want to come along, you’re welcome to do so.”That’s not selfish unless you are expecting anyone to come.
I wanted to elope, my FI wanted a wedding. We have settled on a DW and have not looked back. I would reccomend it if that’s what you want.
Post # 9
Some family members have been very negative calling us selfish.
No, that’s not selfish. What’s selfish is family and friends expecting you to have the wedding they imagined. It’s your wedding, not theirs. Do what makes you happy! After all, in the end, the wedding is for you two, not for everyone else.
Post # 10
@OctBride-2012: Im happy everything worked out for you…the book sounds like a really cute idea 🙂
@AdriannaJean: I agree with you, were not expecting anyone to come but some friends and family have said they plan to attend
@GFerg: Thanks for the words of encouragment your totally right we just need to do whats going to make us happy. I never thought of it like that but your right their the ones being selfish not us!