Post # 1
I really need some advice. My FH and I wanted to elope in the first place, but got talked into having a wedding by my sister who then got diagnosed as bipolar. She made lots of promises she could not and has not kept, and we have been stressed and are stressed the entire time as things don’t quite fall into place. In a way, we did want a happy wedding, a big happy wedding, but that isn’t possible. The real problem is my difficult mother, who makes a problem no matter what. She is extremely scarey and abusive and has the power to tear me down, just like she says her father did to her. She hurts my sisters, but is by far the craziest to me. I am the youngest, and perhaps she has been most jealous of me? All I/ we want (my FH and I) is to have a positive, stress free experience. I tried my best to get along with everyone, and was successful until my mother did not have the funds she promised for the wedding when she promised them and told me I was “filled with the devil’s lies.” (She is a religious fanatic.) We already sent save-the-dates and people have begun making reservations, but I fear that what I want is not possible given my family. I just want to have a good time and have everyone get along. Also, my parents are divorced and my mother is on her fourth marriage. My father doesn’t like to be near her. He is still upset about her fleeing affair that caused the divorce. What should I do? Plus, my sisters don’t seem to understand. FH and I are having a hard time sleeping and the wedding is still months away. This has also been a huge financial toll and we are young and still in school.
Post # 3
I voted for eloping. You and your FI should not be stressed and losing sleep over your wedding. Your mom backed out on giving you money and then insulted you. I would elope and since she already isn’t nice to you just tell her later and when she complains say it was her fault because she didn’t give you the money. Since you have only sent save the dates and people are just starting to book rooms they can get them refunded since there is still time. I would contact everyone and tell them that you couldn’t wait to get married and you eloped and hope to have a reception at a later date. That way they can cancel.
Post # 4
Def elope! This day is for you both, not your family or friends. It’s great to have them there to celebrate that with you, but not if they are only going to drive you crazy. I don’t think it’s too late to call off the wedding and let everyone know you’re eloping instead. It probably will piss your mother and maybe your sister’s off, but either way, they are going to cause you some grief. Good luck with which ever decision you choose. We’re all here for YOU.
Post # 5
I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of this! How far along are you in all your planning? I say elope if you can, but get the word out soon so people can cancel whatever reservations they had, or go ahead with the wedding but cut your family out of the planning/financial aspects as much as possible. Don’t feel bad about not inviting anyone who you think might cause a scene. I’m sorry I don’t have any better advice. Stick close with your FI and the two of you will get through this.
Post # 6
Thank you very much everyone! This is really hard for me! I have everything planned and have devoted so much to this. My FI thinks it is best to elope and do our own thing. I am sure once I get over not having the wedding, that the elopement will be just as wonderful, because it will be on our own terms.
Post # 7
This is so sad. I’m sorry you are dealing with this! I would vote elope as well. You and your FH want and NEED to have the wedding you guys want. Maybe later you and everyone in the family can get together for a reception. Elope, go get married, and enjoy your honeymoon without the drama and stress!