Post # 1
Here is the problem. My fiancée and I got engaged in dec 2013. We originally wanted to get married oct 2014 but his best man (who lives overseas) could not make it due to prior plans. So we decided early this year that we would get married may 2015 (on the weekend we first got together). Now the best man found out his wife is pregnant and if their estimate is correct will have the baby 2 weeks before the wedding. This is their second child and with them being in europe clearly the baby can’t fly. This is my fiancées best friend and I would hate not having him there but I have been planning and have things booked ( photographer, photo booth, the rest of the wedding party). With the wedding being outside I don’t have a lot of wiggle room and changing the date may only buy the best man a few more weeks……this has me really stressed. Please help!!!
Post # 2
I wouldn’t change the date. Apparently this guy has got a lot going on an living in a different country makes scheduling difficult. You can’t keep changing your plans for the best man, he’s obviously not changing his for you. Your wedding is about you, maybe he can skype in to the reception or something like that if he is unable to make it in person.
Post # 3
Depending on where he lives vs. where the wedding is held, maybe the baby can’t fly but he can for a day or two if they are that close? London to the East Coast is only about a 5 hour flight. He may be in hot water but I would not change the date from one which is very significant just for him.
Post # 4
I agree, don’t change it. If you have things booked, it is not easy to change, and they will have to understand! One of my best friends is in my wedding parrty, but I am well aware she is trying to have a baby. I know that she has every intention of being at my wedding across the country, but I will understand if she has to back out if she is in her last trimester and can’t fly. I am learnign through my planning process you can’t make everysingle person happy when picking the date.
Post # 5
I completely agree however me being very much invested in my fiancée happiness he would be crushed if he wasn’t there…..I guess I just am having trouble seeing the positive outcome in this. my biggest fear is having to push the dTe back till 2016. My father passed away suddenly before we were engaged and my grandmother is in the beginning stages of dementia (she will be walking me down the aisle) I really appreciate your comment and taking time to answer.
Post # 6
Allisoninaz: Since you already have things booked, I don’t think it’s a good idea to reschedule again. Positive outcome is you’ll be married. It’s too bad that the best man can’t make it but it’s impossible to plan around random life events like that.
Post # 7
Allisoninaz: your FI is going to have to realize that plans have been changed once, its not fair to all the other people involved to ask them all to rearrange, AGAIN, for one person.
I’m guessing you’ve made deposits? Some vendors can rebook a date, others won’t. Why lose all the momentum and possibly lose money? Its a shame BM can’t make it, but the world shouldn’t stop because of it.
Your FI is about to be married, its time to be a man and learn to accept things that sometimes suck. What happens next year, when BM has another baby, or some other life altering event? Will you just keep pushing your wedding back, further and further?
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF
I understand that you want to celebrate with this man and his family; however, you’ve already paid money to book vendors and more importantly, you’ve demonstrated how MUCH you wanted to celebrate with him by changing your date in the first place!
I’m sorry but, at the end of the day, your wedding is about your FI and you. I can appreciate that you’re invested in your FI’s happiness but what about yours? I’m assuming YOU don’t want to push back the date, potentially indefinitely – and, again, who knows what’ll happen if you do? What if the friend’s kids get sick next time and can’t fly? What if next time the friend is told he can’t take time off work? You can’t keep juggling your life around this man.
All in all, your FI’s happiness shouldn’t depend on this guy being at the wedding – it should depend on marrying YOU and being able to spend the day with YOU. He needs to accept that his friend may not be there but it’s not the end of the world.
Post # 9
Unfortunately I don’t think it’s wise to plan your big life events around other people’s life events. As much as it will suck not having him there, if you reschedule, something else will come up making that date not ideal too. You could list him in the program as “honourary best man”?
Post # 10
One word: Skype!<br /><br />It isn’t perfect, but perhaps the Best Man can join in via a Skype (or other video conference call) during the reception and give a speech or toast? If that doesn’t work, perhaps just a pre-recorded video of a speech/toast and then a quick call to you and your groom privately at some point in the night.
I feel that even though this man is your FI’s best friend, as long as you’re there, he will be happy.
Post # 11
Honestly you already moved it once for him. He isnt planning his life around your wedding (assuming they were trying for the 2nd baby) and he knew that it was a possibility his wife could be pregnant for it. My BIL flew out for a wedding (UK to Chicago) to be best man when his baby was a newborn- his wife had help from her mom while he was away. He stayed just 2 nights – the night before and night after. Perhaps he could do something like this? Otherwise, enjoy your wedding, no doubt you have already planned so much for this date. Dont reschedule it for 1 person. If he cannot fly out then as PP said skype is your friend! And I agree a pre-recorded speech would be great.
Post # 12
Talk to your fiance about this. I wouldn’t recomment rescheduling again around what works for your fiance’s best friend but there is always going to be something that comes up for someone.
Post # 13
i dont know for some reason i would change it..can you move it up? i know my husband would have been hearbroken if his bestie wouldnt have been at our wedding as would i if my MOH couldnt have made it. Moving it up would be a better option than moving it back! 🙂