Help! Do I need to include flower girls and ring bearer on program?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do they HAVE to be on the program?
    Yes : (20 votes)
    95 %
    No : (0 votes)
    It's a personal choice,no wrong or right way : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would include them.  It usually is a big deal for kids when they’re recognized for doing something special. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    11 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Depending on where you’re ordering from, you might want to call/email the company to see if they’ll let you buy this week with the 40% off and finalize your wording over the next month or so. I’ve seen Wedding Paper Divas allow this. Worth a try!

    Post # 6
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We did, and I definitely would.  Our programme was designed like an old fashioned hockey game programme, so they were listed as “Junior Players,” with the groom’s party listed as the Toronto St. Pat’s (I’m from Markham, and a Leafs fan), and the bridal party were the Detroit Falcons (wife is from Detroit, Wings fan).  Junior players was its own category; they weren’t on either team.

    I would try to get those things settled.  How old is the one who is asking if she’s too old?  Can she be a junior bridesmaid?  Can you come up with an umbrella term for all the kids?  Then she can change her title as many times as she wants, and it won’t matter.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Italiandoll:  have you offered to take your little ring bearer out for the day to get him meausred and buy the tux? Try that and see if taking the pressure off his parents get them to commit. I would right off the older flower girl. 

    The program should include the entire wedding party, but noone is going to bite yiur head off it doesn’t. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Haha she’s right… she is too old to be a flower girl.  Apparently she is as annoyed with her parents as you are, lol.

    I would just nclude everyone.  The worst case scenario is that someone drops out, and there’s an extra name in the programme.  To me, that really wouldn’t be a big deal.  Changes happen, and people know that.  I’d say it’s better for them to be in the programme, when they didn’t end up particpating, than not in it when they do end up being in the wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes you should include them.

    I would just tell the parents your situation. “I am getting ready to order our programs and wanted to confirm Johnny is in the wedding. I wasn’t positive because I know he hasn’t been measured yet, but wanted to double check befor I order the programs.” This SHOULD get your point accross that 1. you need to make a decision about your kid being in the wedding and 2. if they are going to be in it, than order the tux and the dress!

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    “Attendants” or “Young Attendants” perhaps?  Just thought of that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @Duncan:  aw, 9 isn’t too old to be a flower girl! I was a flower girl when I was 9, and I’ve asked my little cousin to be my flower girl–she’ll be 9 at the time.

    OP I agree that kids love seeing their name in print! Maybe do as PP suggested and call the company and ask if you can finalize the wording later.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @pineapplez17:   I know, when I was 9, granted I wasn’t a girl, but I would not have wanted a child’s role; I would have found it patronizing. That’s me, though.

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