Help facing irrational fear please!

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Your fear IS irrational, but, it is isn’t completely taking over your life…is it so bad? Having your phone, a flashlight etc with you is just good practice for storms or normal power outages anyway, locking the doors is also good practice normally. 

BUT if this is completely taking over your life, perhaps you could get some self defence lessons? That way you can build your confidence in knowing that if someone actually did enter your house, you could handle them? 

I do think though that this will fade with time, you just have to let yourself get over it. For the last 2 years you’ve been pregnant so you are more irrational anyway. My guess is that once the new baby is born and time passes, you’ll begin to feel less jumpy because you won’t have all the pregnancy hormones racing around your body.


Post # 4
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I am jumpy whenever FI isn’t home well after dark, we have two dogs and I have to open the door and let them outside and it makes me feel very exposed and defenseless to do so when he’s not home, so I have a flashlight and mace by the door that I grab.  I think you just get used to the security of that other person’s presence, even though, realastically I could be grabbed even if he was home, since he’s not always in the room, watching me go outside. 

I don’t think there’s really a problem with my fear since it makes me more careful when home alone, and it doesn’t keep me from going outside, just makes me more cautious.

Similarly, I don’t think its a big issue for you to be scared when your DH isn’t home, it’ll just make you more cautious too, which is a good thing!!

Post # 5
560 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I can’t be much help because I am the same way 🙁 I sleep with the hall light on and I leave a light on downstairs like someone is awake .  I really just don’t sleep well when I am home alone.  our house settles a lot and there is always a decent wind here at the beach .  I slept much better when our alarm was working so I suggest looking into a home security system.  make sure to ask your local police station which company they recommend.  The reason ours isn’t working is bc my DH went w Comcast security which is horrible. after the third installation and failed equipment we just stopped hacing them come to ‘fix’ it . Stinks bc locked into a contract for a useless alarm.

Post # 6
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wish I could give you some good advice, but the one thing that have helped me with an irrational fear is something that I don’t wish for you.

In short, I’ve been scared of airplanes and flying for 12 years. My phobia was a result of experiencing a mid air emergency, barely avoiding a full out crash landing. The scariest thing of my life, until this summer, just two days after my wedding, when I thought my little brother had drowned. The 10-15 minutes that passed until we found him alive was hell. THAT was fear – and when I later flew down to France and back to Canada, I kept reliving that fear – thinking that my fear of flying was nothing. So, it seems like this new trauma was capable of pushing away the old one… but obviously I would rather have stuck with my old fear, than to re-live those 10-15 minutes at every take off!

Anyway, if you feel really limited by your fear, I think you should go and talk to someone about it. It might help you to discuss your fear with a professional and that person might give you some tools to keep the panic under control. Good luck and hugs!

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