Post # 1
Two years ago, while my DH was out of town on a business trip, I woke up in the middle of the night and there was no electricity.
I heard noise in the house that sounded like steps, and was certain that there was someone in the house. Since there is no safe way to go downstairs without facing the attacker, I quietly locked myself in the bathroom, trying to figure out a way to get out by the window.
Before I could do that, the lights came back on so I grabbed something I could defend myself with and looked through the house.
Of course, there was no one there.
But this was the single most scary experience of my life… And the problem is that now, whenever I’m home alone, I freak out. I need to make sure I have a flashlight, a phone, a cell phone that I can quickly grab. I need to verify that all the doors are locked, to make sure that all our baby gates are locked (so it makes noise and gives me time to react), and I can’t have any white noise (we usually sleep with a fan on).
I am now almost 9 months pregnant, my almost 2 year old son sleeps at my parents house tonight and DH is away on business… When I got home earlier there was a strange car in front of the house with 2 men in it… it stayed there forever. Turned out to be someone who was dropping off my neighbour and they were endlessly talking in the car. But it made me nervous.
Bees, do you have anything that could help me get over this irrational fear that I have to be attacked in the middle of the night whenever I’m home alone? I’m 31 years old and soon to be mom of 2, I should be able to handle myself!
Post # 3
Your fear IS irrational, but, it is isn’t completely taking over your life…is it so bad? Having your phone, a flashlight etc with you is just good practice for storms or normal power outages anyway, locking the doors is also good practice normally.
BUT if this is completely taking over your life, perhaps you could get some self defence lessons? That way you can build your confidence in knowing that if someone actually did enter your house, you could handle them?
I do think though that this will fade with time, you just have to let yourself get over it. For the last 2 years you’ve been pregnant so you are more irrational anyway. My guess is that once the new baby is born and time passes, you’ll begin to feel less jumpy because you won’t have all the pregnancy hormones racing around your body.
Post # 4
I am jumpy whenever FI isn’t home well after dark, we have two dogs and I have to open the door and let them outside and it makes me feel very exposed and defenseless to do so when he’s not home, so I have a flashlight and mace by the door that I grab. I think you just get used to the security of that other person’s presence, even though, realastically I could be grabbed even if he was home, since he’s not always in the room, watching me go outside.
I don’t think there’s really a problem with my fear since it makes me more careful when home alone, and it doesn’t keep me from going outside, just makes me more cautious.
Similarly, I don’t think its a big issue for you to be scared when your DH isn’t home, it’ll just make you more cautious too, which is a good thing!!
Post # 5
I can’t be much help because I am the same way 🙁 I sleep with the hall light on and I leave a light on downstairs like someone is awake . I really just don’t sleep well when I am home alone. our house settles a lot and there is always a decent wind here at the beach . I slept much better when our alarm was working so I suggest looking into a home security system. make sure to ask your local police station which company they recommend. The reason ours isn’t working is bc my DH went w Comcast security which is horrible. after the third installation and failed equipment we just stopped hacing them come to ‘fix’ it . Stinks bc locked into a contract for a useless alarm.
Post # 6
I wish I could give you some good advice, but the one thing that have helped me with an irrational fear is something that I don’t wish for you.
In short, I’ve been scared of airplanes and flying for 12 years. My phobia was a result of experiencing a mid air emergency, barely avoiding a full out crash landing. The scariest thing of my life, until this summer, just two days after my wedding, when I thought my little brother had drowned. The 10-15 minutes that passed until we found him alive was hell. THAT was fear – and when I later flew down to France and back to Canada, I kept reliving that fear – thinking that my fear of flying was nothing. So, it seems like this new trauma was capable of pushing away the old one… but obviously I would rather have stuck with my old fear, than to re-live those 10-15 minutes at every take off!
Anyway, if you feel really limited by your fear, I think you should go and talk to someone about it. It might help you to discuss your fear with a professional and that person might give you some tools to keep the panic under control. Good luck and hugs!
Post # 7
Well the thing is that I tend to have problems getting to sleep and get up a few times during the night to make sure that everything is in order… So because of that I do think it’s a bit out of control
I might talk to DH about an alarm system… Not a bad idea.
I do have self-defense notions, as I practiced karate for 5 years before being pregnant back to back. I guess that being pregnant doesn’t help my confidence right now since I can barely walk! 🙂 And to the first poster, I agree that my hormones are probably not helping right now.
@eocenia: I’m sorry you had to go through that