- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
As some of you will remember, SO and I had an argument a few weeks ago over various things. Now, I’m trying my hardest to change the things he has asked me to change, but it feels like I’m getting nowhere. He keeps telling me he needs to wait to see me change before he can commit to me/confirm whether the relationship is going anywhere.
To me it feels like he is holding me to ransom. We went to a sports even on Sunday, and had a great day, he was loving and caring, cuddling me, kissing me on the forehead. And I felt like things were getting better between us. But today he is said he is glad we have 10 days apart (I’m going to help my parents out) so he has time to reflect on what has happened recently. So i asked him why, and it turns out he thinks I don’t let him speak his opinions and feelings (a long standing complaint of his) – but I always try to, even if it doesn’t seem that way to him.
I’m not sure how I can show him more that I do care for his feelings, and that I am trying so hard to make sure I don’t interrupt him when he is telling me something he feels is important, and to make sure he feels he can tell me all my feelings. He says I always take the easy way out, to do whatever makes life easiest for me. But Bees, it’s never intentional if I do! I’m completely stuck as to what I can do.
I don’t want to be constantly worrying like I am now whether I am making him happy or not, or even whether the relationship would last out the year! Just a month or so ago he was ready to propose, the ring is still sat in our flat. And it is killing me that things have gone topsy tervy in such a short space of time.
Help me please – what should I do? I can’t spend all my time trying my best if he doesn’t see me trying. He admits I have improved but how can I tell if it will ever be enough for him? Before anyone criticises him too much, I have had issues with mental health/confidence in the past, and he has tried to be patient. But am I just stuck the way I am?
I have no idea if he even really wants to be with me (although even today he told me at the moment he was sure he did), and the stress of it all is eating me up inside.