- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
So I had a post a while back about a disagreement with my mother and as much as I love her and wanted this time to be a time for us to work things out and get closer I’ve decided to just cut her out of the planning all together. I understand that for the next few months, until I move out, some things I will have to swallow and hold my tongue but FI & I are really gettign into the planning and I know after the wedding of a really close friend of the family has past they would be looking at me to share all the plannign and give their input.
I already know my grandmother will be unhappy because she has expressed her dislike for some things she feels should be done the “proper way”. First off FI & I are payign for the wedding 98%. My FILs offere to pay the balance fo rthe extra guest ( suppose to have 175 ppl but it has jumped to 200). FI & I have been in 100% control of the guest list. However when my FILs asked if some of their close friends can attend they also offered to pay the difference and so we agreed. I dun’t want to play favorites but I wasn’t planning on gettign a list of must haves from my side of the famly. This might cause a problem because I feel like my family will want there ppl attending and either a) not want to pay the balance or b) do pay the difference but feel that gives them a right to have a say in the plans of FI & my wedding.
My FILs have been a God send they respect and are totally on boad with our choices. However all I’ve heard was it needs to be this way from my side.
Things I know won’t sit well with my family:
We aren’t getting married in a church, we are both christians but attend dfferent churches (he will join mine when we are married) and we are goign through my church for premarital classes also we have never seen ourselves marrying in a church. Gram feel like since I’m a Christian girl who grew up in the church it’s a must.
Also the person marrying us is a Rev. but not the pastor of my church and gram feels the “proper” way is to have my pastor marry us ( not happening already spoke with the Rev. and he not only agreed to marrying us and the classes but finds no problem marrying us at our venue)
My dress won’t be white. Another problem will be that because of the arguement with my mother I’m not seeking help or anything from my mother when it comes to plannign the wedding. Her sister knows enough because we have a very close relationship but I’m tryign to not include her to much because I dun’t want to rub it inmy mothers face that it’s easy to talk with my aunt but not to her ya know.
Anyway well my FI & I felt since we aren’t really listening to anyone when it comes to this wedding but ourselves we felt out of respect we should sit down with my mother and grandmother and explain everything to them. I’m nervious because I think it’s going to turn out bad and the last thing I need right now is another disagreement with anyone I live with right now.
Do any of you bees have any advice for me?? Also if things aren’t to clear let me know and I’ll try explain better.