HELP – FH verbally invited friends…

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsGinkgo:  Just tell him that if he doesn’t hand over the addresses they will not be getting invitations. Give him a deadline date and after that FB message them.

Post # 4
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Tell your FI that you will invite his friends IF and ONLY IF he provides you with mailing addresses by “X” date or they won’t receive an invitation, won’t be able to select a meal, won’t end up on the seating chart, and will feel extremely awkward if they were to show up.  

Post # 6
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MsGinkgo:  Keep bugging him for addresses and tell him that without addresses, no invitations will be issued! They’re coming from Newfoundland or NS, if I remember your prior posts, right?They may not be able to make the trip but it would definitely be nice for them to get an invite. 

Would his parents know his friend’s addresses? Could you research them yourself on Canada Post/Canada 411? 

Post # 7
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MsGinkgo:  What the what?! Why can’t you message them for their addresses?! Without addresses, they aren’t invited. Sorry – end of story.

Post # 8
Member
42453 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsGinkgo:  Honestly, I wouldn’t waste energy getting him to understand. If he doesn’t know by now that you can’t mail an invitation without an address, he never will.

Another thought-do his parents still live in his hometown? Can they help you get the addresses?

Post # 11
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsGinkgo: Just explain one last time that if you don’t get an address, you can’t mail them the thing that they HAVE TO SEND BACK to get their meal choice correct.  Give him a date, then message them yourself.

You’ll go crazy waiting for him to do it!  

Post # 12
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MsGinkgo:  Just keep annoying your FI. You might have to sit him down and ask for the names/details of these people and then contact them yourself (I had to do this too…) Or contact the best man and get the addresses from him! 

Good luck!

 

Post # 13
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would definitely tell him that unless you get addresses by 2 weeks before you send the invitations, then they’re not getting invited.

I’m having to do that with some of my fiance’s FAMILY. No one will get me addresses, and I figure if they don’t care enough to give me addresses, then they aren’t important enough to invite.

And that only those with physical invitations will get invited.

Post # 14
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I guess I’m missing why you can’t FB them requesting addresses, it’s not like you’re inviting them via FB??  I agree with the posts saying give him a drop dead date to get you the addresses and then just FB his friends.

Post # 15
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well for starters, the likelihood of these guys attending the wedding without an invitation is probably remote. Because without a formal invitation that gives venue and time, it is difficult to see how they can just fetch up. That’s if they remember the date of the wedding in the first place.

Don’t stress now. Wait until the invitations are due to go out and then ask your FI for their addresses. If he refuses to provide them then it’s going to his problem if they turn up and discover they haven’t been catered for.

This is one of those instances where you need to step back and let your FI take responsibility for his actions.

Post # 16
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We had a cut off date, and my FI knows it.  If either of us did not have a guest’s address by January, they were off the list.  This meant they were off the head count for dinner, ect.  We made it, we have all the addresses.  Would setting a deadline help?

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