I’m going to keep this short. Last night, I opened up the browser to his computer only to see that he had a search on google images for my best friend’s name! Now, I’ve seen him search “celebrity name + bikini” before and I didn’t say anything. That bothered me but I just let it go. I’ve caught him looking at porn before too. All from seeing the history of his browser. I got mad at him about the porn and he said he would stop… But now this?
Searching for my best friend’s name takes it to a whole new level for me. He didn’t spell her name right and I guess he forgot that she got married and was still searching under her maiden name. But still… It is bothering me.
What would you do? Let it go? Talk to him? Leave him? I’m so confused!
Could it be that he is trying to get in contact with her about something regarding a suprise for you? Or are your alarm bells going off? If that’s the case, just ask him what he’s doing.
Oh wait – I just read that it was Google Images. Yes, that is a bit creepy. Ask him what he is doing.
Maybe he had heard some gossip about images of your BFF online and wanted to check it out before worrying you or her? Or a million other reasons.
If you are concerned talk to him.
What exactly did he type? her name + bikini? That isn’t so bad. Are there bikini photos of her online? Are you in any of them?
Did you ask him why he did such a thing? It’s obvious but I wonder how he would reply to that. To me, looking at porn or bikini photos of celebrities is not a very big deal but if it’s a BEST FRIEND, then I suggest that you should start thinking where it will soon go if you let him do that…
If I were you, I’d just ask him about it in a non-confrontational way. Tell him that you noticed that he’d been searching for her and ask him if there’s some particular reason. It does seem a little off that he’s searching for her with google images, but if you ask, you might find out that it was something totally innocent (or like PP said, some kind of planning for a surprise, or he meant to do a web search and accidentally hit images?)
Either way, you’ll probably feel better if you find out once and for all his explanation for searching. If your alarm bells are STILL going off after he gives you an excuse or you find something off about his answer, trust your gut and try to continue a non-confrontational approach to getting to the bottom of it, but hopefully it will just have been an innocent search/misunderstanding.
@unsurebridetobe143: You really need to table this conversation with him immediately, otherwise you’ll be a complete wreck trying to figure this out on your own. IMO, men are very visual. I don’t think porn is taboo, unless it becomes a compulsion and a substitute for intimacy.
Sorry but I’d be weirded out too! I don’t have any BFFs in my area…and most of them are from over 20 years ago.
I’m assuming she’s your friend on FB? If you use FB that is. I don’t know why anyone would use google search to locate/research someone that is a friend of their SO unless they were trying to “zone in” on specific photos….if that makes sense.
Have you tried to google her and see what photos came up? I would and then I’d ask him in a non-confrontational manner about them.
I guess it could be innocent if he’s trying to connect w/her on twitter or linkedin or something….clicking the pictures to make sure you have the right “Jane Doe” is easier than searching numerous websites sometimes.
I would be up front and ask him directly. There could be a perfectly innocent reasont that none of us are seeing…or it could be a red flag that something might be wrong. Either way, you need to talk to him about it.
This is weird, but could it possibly be innocent?
I Google Imaged my name (because I was curious what might come up when a client Googles me). My Google+ account messed it up. So I Googled a friend’s name who wasn’t on Google+ to see what Facebook images might come up.
It’s still a weird situation, but I’d ask him about it.
Agreeing with everyone above you need to ask him, ive been through the same sort of thing with my partner, and i know how hard it is to approach it if your like me your the sort of person who doesn’t say anything so as not rock the boat or upset anyone. If you dont it will only eat away at you. It could be something completely innocent, you’ll only know if you ask. I understand how you feel and im sorry you feel like this.
@unsurebridetobe143: I’m different from the other PPs, in that this doesn’t bother me at all.
Maybe it’s because I’m on the computer all the time…but I do totally random stuff on a daily basis. I’ve google imaged literally almost every single person I know, because I think it’s interesting to see what comes up. I’ve done the same thing with people (we were really only aquaintances) that I knew in middle school or high school and haven’t thought about in years—just because I’m curious. I look at a lot of stuff online purely for curiosity’s sake.
As some other PPs stated, he could also be trying to contact her to talk about you for a gift or something else–the google image search is useful when you don’t know how to spell someone’s name and you aren’t sure which result is the person you are looking for.
At the root of this issue—is it that you think your FI is romantically interested in your married best friend?
I wouldn’t think to much of it right now. My FI Asked for pictures of all of my bridesmaids because his friends wanted to see who they were walking with ahead of time. I didn’t think much of it. Unless you think he is romantically interested in her then don’t stress over it. And if he was romantically interested in her, the fact he has to google image her shows he has no contact with her so again I wouldn’t stress. I would ask him though just to ease your mind.
That really doesn’t sound like anything worthy of being upset about to me. Come on, people – how many times have you randomly searched something in google or looked at a page and thought immediately, “Oh god don’t want that!” or even thought nothing of it. We all have crap in our browser history we wouldn’t want anyone to see lest it be taken totally out of context.
Knowing me, I’d go up to FI and be like, “WTF is this?” Whatever he says afterward is then taken at face value. Either I’ve let him know I know and it’s not okay, or he gets to explain a legit reason why it happened.
Obviously, we don’t have the answer for you. You need to woman up and to talk to him and ask him yourself. After you receive and answer from him, you’ll then have your answer on what you should do. Hope that helps.