Post # 1
So the lovely ladies that are throwing me my shower this sunday are my mom, fiance’s mom, and my 4 bridesmaids. My mother and future mother-in-law are paying for the shower (i.e. cost of the meal, centerprieces, favors, etc). FI and I paid for another favors we are giving out as well.
We are buying flower bouquets for the moms…fine
The bridemaids are in charge of the games and prizes for them. I dont know all the details of who did what or if one bridesmaid wasnt that involved because she lives out of town. I want to buy them something small for it but fiance says no because their bridesmaid gift already includes it. Really? I wasnt aware of that lol
Would a thank you card be enough for the BM’s (to give at the end of the shower)? what would you do?
Post # 2
I would just write the hosts a nice note after the event. If you give it to them then and there it can’t be as specific. I don’t think the bride giving gifts is the idea/neccessary at the shower.
Post # 3
I’d buy them something anyway. Just being a BM doesn’t obligate them to throw you a shower anyway so that’s different.
Post # 4
If FI told me I couldn’t use my money to buy a gift for someone, I’d probably laugh and ask if he were serious. Is is absolutely necessary to buy a gift? Well, not really. But, if you want to and have the money, I don’t see why you can’t.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
Yeah I don’t like the phrase “He won’t let me” seeing how it’s your OWN money……I say spend it how you please. He’ll just have to deal
Post # 6
your money your choice– if you are not working and he is sole breadwinner then thats ALITTLE different.. i would pick up dog walking baby sitting to earn money so i could buy hostess gifts. a nice heartflet card as well.
Post # 7
Yeah there will be no letting or not letting me do something with the money either I contribute towards or am soley responsible for.
Keeping that in mind, just use discernment and don’t be extravagant. Something small is reasonable.
Post # 8
thank you for your honest opinions. I am debating about buying Starbucks 10-15 gift cards to add in the card (they all love their starbucks). And yes this is my own money that I earn while working full time (I understand his point of view since we are saving for this weddng but still) OR my other option to buy a small gift since I am seeing two of them this Thursday while they pick up their dresses.
Post # 9
“he won’t let me…” is a ridiculous phrase. especially if it’s your money. sorry, but if you want to do something, you don’t have to ask his permission. he’s not your parent, he’s not your owner. you’re an adult, you don’t need to ask his permission.
Post # 10
thelittleone: I’d be looking for a way out if my FI would not let me…
Post # 11
Just write a simple note thanking them. We couldn’t afford to buy more than the bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts, so anytime a shower was thrown we would write them a thank you note.
Since you’re getting married, it’s important to start working as a team. and it goes both ways. You both need to talk about things and compromise. Telling him that you’re just going to spend the money anyway isn’t a great idea, especially if you want him to respect and trust you. If you really want to buy the hostess gifts, you need to talk to your FI about it again.
Post # 12
The Starbucks card sounds perfect. Most of us know what it’s like to plan on a budget, but a simple hostess gift is a nice touch.
Post # 13
thanks everyone – we had a chat about it. I mentioned a small yet nice gift and how it was important to me and all they effort they put it and he agreed..yeahhh 🙂 so I bought Godiva chocolates for each plus the thank you card.
Post # 14
Your FI won’t let you spend YOUR money? Run.
Post # 15
You don’t have to give everyone presents. They are helping you because they love you, the only thing you need to give back is a heart-felt “thank you!”