Help! Fiance bought what looks like a wedding band for e-ring :-(

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
3009 posts
Sugar bee

@peaceflower10:  if your initial statement was true- that you would marry him with a dandelion stem, I’m not sure how this is an issue…


if you’re being honest with us, a dandelion stem or a band with a smaller diamond simply doesn’t cut it. You know him- we don’t. Would he be hurt if you told him you wanted to use this as your band & get a more typical engagement ring? Europeans are known for having smaller rings, so perhaps he doesn’t know the custom?

edit: just re read the comments about his 1 year expectation. I have an idea for a compromise/solution. Why not get a beautiful blingy band and wear just that after the wedding. You don’t care for this ring and clearly it does not hold sentimental value for him. My gf did that after getting an heirloom she didnt love. She wears this ring that has several very thin bands- it is gorgeous and just her style. 


Post # 4
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with the PP.

Post # 5
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

I don’t think it looks like a wedding band at all. Its a shame you’re disappointed with it.

Post # 6
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@peaceflower10:  I don’t even like bezels so to me, I really dislike the ring.

What is the exact issue you have with the ring? The band? The diamond? The way it is set?

Would something like this make you feel better about it?

If you were to simply use the exact ring he gave you, but have it re-set differently it may go down a little better? 🙂 Plus, you can get some gorgeous enhancers and a little bit of bling on your wedding band to enhance your look!

Post # 7
30 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry you aren’t happy with your ring, but congratulations on being engaged!

I am a firm supporter of someone saying what they are feeling, you should be able to communicate with your fiancé and you two can work it out together… Compromise 🙂

the fundamental hasn’t changed — you two are still in love, but you are not in love with the ring situation. I hope he is open minded and willing.

Do not feel bad about wanting an engagement ring, every woman should have a little sparkle!

congrats again!

Post # 8
8389 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@peaceflower10:  Have you rejected any of his other gifts?  How did he take it?  If you’re being honest about marrying him with just a dandelion stem, you could simply not wear the ring if the actual ring isn’t important to you.

Post # 9
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@peaceflower10:  It doesn’t look like a wedding band, just a bezel set with a thicker band. With that said, you should have a frank conversation with him about your culture’s customs and your expectations. I may be in the minority, but I truly believe you should have something you love on your finger, but at the same time, I don’t think the cost of that should fall squarely on the man. Have you looked at moissanite so he doesn’t balk at prices?

And I just want you to know that I actually really like your e-ring! I also understand that you’d like something a bit more traditional, but I think your e-ring would look amazing with a bezel set eternity wedding ring.

Post # 11
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

If you’re just worried that it won’t look good with a band: it will! it would look nice either with a plain or blingy band!

Now if it’s just not your style/taste..that’s different. Since he’s not even expecting you to wear this ring past the engagement, you’re in luck. Just pick the ering of your (within budget) choice to wear as your wedding ring! Contribute a little bit if you have to, and get married with a ring that’s your style. 

Post # 12
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@peaceflower10:  I think you should just tell him you want to change your set (maybe when you get married?).  The ring isn’t your style, and it’s not the end of the world.  It’s not like your feelings about a piece of jewelry make your relationship less special.  Upgrade at the wedding and start your married life with a set that is more your style.

Post # 14
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You mentioned that this ring isn’t your style, but would your style have broken the bank for him?
I guess it’s also hard for him to understand if engagment rings aren’t part of his culture.

Can you splurge a bit on an engagment ring/wedding band set that you like for your wedding ceremony? Maybe even a somewhat inexpensive set (meaning shop around for a nice set at a good price I guess).
Especially if he thinks you’d only wear this ring for a year, it makes it a little easier to “replace” it after a year (might be hard to do beforehand)

This way you have a ring to look forward to, and can maybe warm up a bit more to your engagment ring in the meantime (because it is less of a “forever” thing).

Post # 15
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@peaceflower10:  I think you should tell him what’s on your mind. I understand if he wasn’t too aware of e-rings- that’s ok. Don’t let this misunderstanding make you sad though. If you really want an e-ring more your style, discuss it with him. He may be more open and supportive that you are giving him credit for.

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