Post # 1
Is anyone else facing this problem? Last night I rattled off a list of things we have to take care of in the near future and one of them was FI’s wedding band. He’s never really engaged me in conversation about this and occassionally says "I just don’t think I would like a piece of jewelry on my hand and/or get use to wearing it. Yet, he’s been wearing a silver rope chain around his neck every single day for years. We’ve been together over 5 years and we’re committed so I don’t think it has anything to do with the symbolism of the ring. I’ve tried to dangle out there that there are some cool looking men’s rings but he doesn’t seem to bite. I’m just not sure what to say to this.
Post # 3
I did just happen across this article that explained some things and had a good suggestion about buying a cheapo band somewhere to have him wear it occassionally since it’s hard for some men to even imagine the ‘feeling’ of wearing a ring, which seems to be enough to send them into a state of anxiousness over it. http://www.weddingvendors.com/planning/articles/should-man-wear-wedding-ring/
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall
Hmmmm. That’s a tough one.
Some people have ring tattoos – if he’s the kind of guy who’s open to tattoos you could suggest that. It’s especially popular with men who work a lot with their hands (with machinery and tools) – it’s safer too since they won’t run the risk of jewelry getting caught anywhere.
You said he wears a chain on his neck – is it symbolic for him? (Did a relative or friend give it to him?) (I wonder if you could convince him to add a ring or a pendant to it!)
There are also lots of options for really thin rings… like I’ve seen 3 mm men’s rings before, so they don’t all have to be fat and overbearing. My man seems to like the black tungsten rings – they’re good in a lot of ways:
1 – they’re really tough – hard to damage (even hard to scratch
2 – they’re inexpensive (like seriously cheap)
3 – black is cool and manly
Post # 5
My FI doesn’t like rings and will probably never wear his after a certain period of time, but he chose a titanium one so your FI might look into this. Titanium is the lightest of all of the metals and for him it was a no brainer once he tried it on and realized it didn’t feel heavy at all. Even if he doesn’t wear it everyday, you might want to suggest he can wear it on special occasions.
Post # 6
My fiance was similar when we initially discussed rings. At the time, he was working construction and couldn’t imagine wearing a ring. Now he’s a programmer and it became a more reasonable thing for him to do.
I did two things that helped get him used to the idea.
1) I found a really cool etsy seller who does very different rings, with wood and titanium
2) I got him an engagement ring. I think he actually secretly wanted something to symbolize our engagement. Now he’s used to wearing a ring, and feels weird without it. It was all of the fun with none of the pressure… Initially he didn’t wear it all the time and it was no big deal. Now he doesn’t ever want to take it off.
Engagement ring and a similar wedding ring (ours doesn’t have the metal band in the middle of the wood):
Post # 7
Thank you for the suggestions. I have seen the different designs of tungsten rings. I’ll look into those 3mm ones as well.The necklace actually symbolizes nothing, just something he started wearing back in college/high school and never really took off. He’s a cubical computer guy so the industry he works in is not an issue and he’s not into tattoos so I probably couldn’t convince him of a ring tattoo. Thankfully he doesn’t seem ‘dead set’ against the idea all together.
Post # 8
My fiance said he would never wear one and that was definitly a problem for me. I don’t know what changed his mind, maybe he knew how important it was to me, but now he wants to so I’m psyched!
He used to want a titanium because he knew it was really light but then we foudn out that you can’t size them up or down at all you would need a new ring and he didn’t like that idea (nor did i) so now he’s happy with the white gold plain band he picked out himself.
Bring him to a store and just have him try a few on…he won’t liek it at first but then he’ll forget its on…
Post # 9
I would be pissed, to be honest.
We got titanium. It was cheap and super lightweight.
Post # 10
My fiancee was worried about that for a while, since he never wears jewelry. He didn’t object to having one, but he was concerned that he’d never feel comfortable wearing it. We’re in the same boat as you. After 5 years together, I knew commitment wasn’t the issue. Just the jewelry.
I’d recommend looking for and trying on bands that are comfort fit or perfect fit shaped. They’re made to be more comfortable. It also helped that my fiancee wears a watch every day (like your FH’s necklace), so I asked him if he could feel the watch on his wrist. He said no (thinking that his wrist was less sensitive than his fingers would be, I guess), and I asked him if he’d be willing to wear it on the other wrist for a while, just to see if he could feel it there. He did, and it felt weird (showing him that it wasn’t that he was able to get used to it on his correct wrist, and thus he’s eventually get used to a ring, too).
If he’s not even willing to try rings on or give it a chance, that’s something else (and I’d wonder if maybe we needed to talk about his feelings about it in more depth).
I hope that helps! Good luck!
Post # 11
Ooh, if your fiancee’s not a watch man, I have another idea of how you could let him get desensitized to a wedding band…
Go to the jewelry store together to look at wedding bands. Look at bands for him first, and find one that he likes well enough. Ask the clerk if he can try it on in his correct size (this will make a BIG difference), then ask if he can keep it on for a few minutes to see if he likes it while you look at rings for YOU together (it might help to call ahead to the store and tell the clerk your intent). This should get his mind on something else, rather than focusing on the strange thing on his finger. After you’ve looked at rings for yourself for a while, ask him how he feels about the ring. Chances are he’ll have forgotten it’s there all together! 🙂
Post # 12
what about an engraved watch? Or a ring on his chain?
It is difficult, but I think that if I was in your situation I would rather him wear *something* everyday than a ring every once in a while
Post # 13
my bf and i arent engaged yet, but we had the chat about his band. he told me that the salesladies at the jewelry store that we had my ering appraised at had him try on rings while he waited, and he said he hadnt liked the feel of them, that he didnt think he’d want to wear a ring everyday. his job is hands on sometimes (building servers, things like that), but 90% of the time he’s working from his desk.
i have had the image of him wearing a very thin, very simple white gold or platinum band for months now, but he’s really not having it!
i cant imagine running around with my ering and my wedding band on, and being so proud of them, and him not wearing his. it just FEELS wrong. if theyre OUR rings, whats the issue?!
Post # 14
My FI doesn’t want one either and really, I can’t picture him with one on! Plus, wearing one would be a hazard at his job. I don’t mind either way to be honest. Whatever he’s comfortable with.