Help! Fiance really doesn't want videographer.

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Himmstress:  If it’s the only thing he has had a strong opinion about I would listen- if he feels uncomfortable knowing everything he does it being recorded he wont be able to relax and you might get true reactions out of him- like when you walk down the aisle and he sees you for the first time!

Post # 4
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Can you just ask someone to record the ceremony? Neither my FI and I really liked the idea of having a videographer….but we agreed we can always just ask someone to tape it if we really want to watch.  I know it wouldn’t quite be what you wanted, and not as professional…but it could be a somewhat compromise.  If its the only thing your FI feels strongly about then, its definitely something to consider.  I do think you should keep his opinions in mind though…just remember, its his wedding too.  If he’s letting you do everything you want and this is the only thing he’s requesting?

Post # 5
8739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If he has strong feelings about it, don’t push it. It’s his wedding too, and it would  be considerate of you to cater to his feelings.

Post # 6
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Himmstress:  Can’t you just have a camera set up to record the ceremony? I wasn’t comfortable or felt the need for a videographer. I didn’t want him in my pics or a hptog in my video (I don’t know how well they work together).

I would respect him, especially if this is the one request he has made. He probably doesn’t want a camera shoved in his face when he’s trying to sort through his emotions on the day, and I don’t blame him really.

Post # 7
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to play devils advocate here because my DH (first time I’ve called him that ee!) didn’t want a videographer either. I didn’t even think about it but then my little sis gifted us one for the day. He was the loveliest guy, very unobtrusive and super sweet. He and DH got along so well DH went to find him at the end of the night and hugged him goodbye! Lol. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is hindsight is a wonderful thing, a lot of the details I pushed for and DH didn’t really want (esp my ‘overpriced’ photog, it turns out he loved them and would have hated to miss out on them. He can’t wait to see the photos and video! Maybe you could have some middle ground by getting your FI to meet your videographer before booking them to see how he feels about him/her, because being comfortable is very important and it might sway him to go along with it. Good luck!

Post # 8
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I feel that although it is his wedding too it is unfair of him to take away something that you have your heart set on! In the midst of a very busy day he is not even gonna notice the videographer! I would compromise by asking the videographer to keep their distance with the videoing.

My mom always said that the biggest regret she has from her wedding was that it wasn’t videoed! So I will be making sure I get mine videoed!

Post # 9
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We didnt have a videographer and we had no regrets.

It is both of your wedding and your H shouldnt feel uncomfortable on the day off.

Post # 10
30423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s so hard when one of you wants something, but the other doesn’t.  But hopefully you two will come to a compromise here!

What I will say is this – the only thing I regret from our wedding day was not having a videographer.  Yes, we treasure our photos, and love them dearly, but even the simple family camcorder tape footage of our wedding day just doesn’t quite do it for me.  DH doesn’t really feel the same way, but I do know that if we were to ever do it again, I would totally jump on a videographer.  But this is just me! Like I said, it’s about you two reaching an agreement. 🙂 Best of luck to you!

Post # 11
8739 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Going to be the opposite side of the coin again. We didn’t have a videographer, no regrets. Realistically, how often are you going to watch the video? That was my reasoning — Spend all this money for a dvd that will get watched maybe once a year.

Post # 12
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Compromise! If he doesn’t want one the whole day, ask him if he’s willing to have one for just the ceremony. I wanted our videographer for the entire day, but my FI thought it was a waste of money and wanted just the ceremony since he agreed that getting us saying our vows on tape was very important. We compromised and we got just the ceremony and some of the reception. I also paid for it since it was what I really wanted. Also, I know people say it’s not important, but my grandmother died at my sister’s graduation party when I was younger and we have video from it of her dancing with my dad before she passed. That video is really important to my dad, so I always think of that. Video captures something pictures don’t, like a person’s voice, their reaction to something, how they move and interact with the world. And no one will be around forever, so to me video is really important.

Post # 13
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Ummm. That’s kind of strange IMO- pictures are nice but videos are better. Some of my friends got gifted a videographer ( they were not going to have one) and not only was it the best present per the bride it is the only way to see things she even missed at the wedding. They loooove it. I hope you can change his mind:)

Post # 14
11 posts

Meet with a videographer. I think its worth more than photography. Video is amazing, and the amount of wedding videos I’ve seen researching a videographer, it is a must in my opinion.

Post # 15
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I barely noticed our videographer on the day off. He was very discreet.


Post # 16
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I didn’t have a videographer, and I am really happy that I didn’t. We had a great photographer who managed to capture the day really accurately, so I don’t feel like we missed anything. 

One reason why I decided not to (other than the fact that we never watch home videos) is that at DH’s cousin’s wedding, the videographer team was in front of the guests the entire time. They stood right in front of the groom’s mom, and were constantly blocking everyone’s view with their bodies, equipment, etc. It made for a nice video, but seriously compromised the experience for a lot of people, and made it feel a lot less intimate. I didn’t want to sacrifice the actual event for memories.

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