Help…FMIL making suggetions that are just wrong for our wedding…

posted 3 years ago in Favors
  • poll: What should I do?
    Let her provide the favours, you can do something else as well : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Find a way to polietly decline the offer : (26 votes)
    74 %
    I have an alternate suggestion : (8 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Politely decline. It’s great that she’s excited and wants to help, but this is your wedding, and you and FI have to be comfortable with every decision.

    Post # 3
    Member
    684 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    MsGinkgo:  yeah no…..I’m sorry, those are just awful. If I was a guest and received those, I’d either leave it behind or toss it in the trash when I got home. Maybe once you find the favour of your choice, you can tell a little white lie and pass on the quilted stuff by saying that you’d ALWAYS had your heart set on this XYZ item:)

    Post # 4
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    The Kleenex holder is useless. Is your wedding having a travel theme at all? Maybe someone could use one of the tags? That’s a very loose maybe. They don’t look like they would hold up.

    Unfortunately I think you’ll have to decline. If you already have favors in mind just tell her that, or think of something she could make if you want to use her talents.

    Post # 6
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    MsGinkgo:  decline- that’s so random.

    BUT how about a quilted guest book?? 

    Post # 8
    Member
    588 posts
    Busy bee

    I kind of think the quilted luggage tags are cool! But there is no harm in declining. A quilted guest book is a great compromise though.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    or a quilted cardbox!

    Post # 10
    Member
    3713 posts
    Sugar bee

    OMG!!! My mother in law did nothing for our wedding. Even balked about the rehearsal dinner. Maybe I’m lucky?

    And luckily in my zone, my friends/family tend to not do favors (unless they’re edible).

    Maybe some of the older ladies would use the tissue holders and some women would use the luggage tags, but I can see a whole lot of wasting going on.

    I like the quilted guest book idea, where guests sign fabric pieces, that she later sews into a quilt. You can use it on the bed of your guestroom.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    MsGinkgo:  but this woman will quilt ANYTHING, i have the wall hangings, tissue holders, travel valet, and lipstick holder to prove it)

    I’m sorry, but that part made me laugh! Wow, that’s a toughie. She means so well and wants to help, but ugh. Any chance your FI could politely decline (it’s his mom) and let her know you 2 want to plan it all yourselves or something??

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    Post # 12
    Member
    6048 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Don’t you have any older Aunts or someone that might like them?  You could even drop them in the welcome bag if you want.  That way it keeps her occupied with a project …. I mean if you take this away from her what will she move onto next?  At least with these you know what your getting. just a thought.  A busy FMIL is a FMIL not in your hair 😀 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

     I’d tell her I appreciate it, but in your place I’d say that as lovely a gesture as it is on her part, I’m not planning on any favors at all.  At least that way you aren’t insulting her taste.  It’s  true that favors are totally unnecessary.  The assumption is that unlike a kid’s  party, adults don’t require any consolation prize.   The reception is the thank you. That and a verbal thanks for coming  on the day of is more than appropriate. 

    ETA To me edible favors are not really favors, per se, they are part of the menu. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I like the idea of throwing them in the welcome bags. If people don’t want them, they can get rid of them at the hotel instead of leaving them at the reception. Then you don’t have to directly deal with them and no hurt feelings if they aren’t a big hit.

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