Post # 1
SO FMIL is a really sweet woman (most of the time) but she gets easily offended and holds a serious grudge. She likes me, we get along, I’m the daughter she never had BUT she does resent that I’m the reason her ‘baby’ now lives halfway across the country.
So, this weekend she emailed me some pictures of one of her quilting projects (i have nothing against quilts, I like them on beds and as a throw…but this woman will quilt ANYTHING, i have the wall hangings, tissue holders, travel valet, and lipstick holder to prove it) and then attached some pictures of purple items with this note
” 2nd pic is an assortment of purple tags and 3rd are various purple kleenex holders for your purse. Thought the purples might be a nice touch for some of the guests, let me know what you think.”
So I think she’s suggeting these as wedding favours, and that’s very sweet, but I know our guests and the majority would leave these items behind (And that would make me feel bad for her) and they really don’t fit with the look of the wedding. What do I do?
Here are the pictures she sent.
Post # 2
Politely decline. It’s great that she’s excited and wants to help, but this is your wedding, and you and FI have to be comfortable with every decision.
Post # 3
MsGinkgo: yeah no…..I’m sorry, those are just awful. If I was a guest and received those, I’d either leave it behind or toss it in the trash when I got home. Maybe once you find the favour of your choice, you can tell a little white lie and pass on the quilted stuff by saying that you’d ALWAYS had your heart set on this XYZ item:)
Post # 4
The Kleenex holder is useless. Is your wedding having a travel theme at all? Maybe someone could use one of the tags? That’s a very loose maybe. They don’t look like they would hold up.
Unfortunately I think you’ll have to decline. If you already have favors in mind just tell her that, or think of something she could make if you want to use her talents.
Post # 5
lanibug: thanks for the support, I always worry that I’m too harsh about this stuff (she’s from a small town where a lot of people actually really enjoy the crafty stuff – as do her friends, but they’re quilters as well).
spiffanee: most of our guests have to travel to get to the wedding but that’s the extent of it.
Post # 6
MsGinkgo: decline- that’s so random.
BUT how about a quilted guest book??
Post # 7
MrsBuesleBee: I had thought about getting people to sign fabric swatches and ask her to quilt them but then I read stories about people signing too close to edges and things getting cut off…maybe I’ll mention it to FH and see what he thinks, he’s going to visit his parents this weekend and maybe he can mention it to her if he likes the idea. We want something that we can display as opposed to something that will sit on a shelf and never be used.
Post # 8
I kind of think the quilted luggage tags are cool! But there is no harm in declining. A quilted guest book is a great compromise though.
Post # 10
OMG!!! My mother in law did nothing for our wedding. Even balked about the rehearsal dinner. Maybe I’m lucky?
And luckily in my zone, my friends/family tend to not do favors (unless they’re edible).
Maybe some of the older ladies would use the tissue holders and some women would use the luggage tags, but I can see a whole lot of wasting going on.
I like the quilted guest book idea, where guests sign fabric pieces, that she later sews into a quilt. You can use it on the bed of your guestroom.
Post # 11
MsGinkgo: but this woman will quilt ANYTHING, i have the wall hangings, tissue holders, travel valet, and lipstick holder to prove it)
I’m sorry, but that part made me laugh! Wow, that’s a toughie. She means so well and wants to help, but ugh. Any chance your FI could politely decline (it’s his mom) and let her know you 2 want to plan it all yourselves or something??
<div style=”overflow: hidden; color: #000000; background-color: #ffffff; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;”><br /><br /></div>
Post # 12
Don’t you have any older Aunts or someone that might like them? You could even drop them in the welcome bag if you want. That way it keeps her occupied with a project …. I mean if you take this away from her what will she move onto next? At least with these you know what your getting. just a thought. A busy FMIL is a FMIL not in your hair 😀
Post # 13
PABride: we want to do edible favours, we’re just still debating exactly what they’ll be
RedHeadKel: I’m going to have to get him to deal with it – but of course the email was sent to me. He’s really bad about telling his mom No on things like this, she’s a bit of a bully.
Post # 14
I’d tell her I appreciate it, but in your place I’d say that as lovely a gesture as it is on her part, I’m not planning on any favors at all. At least that way you aren’t insulting her taste. It’s true that favors are totally unnecessary. The assumption is that unlike a kid’s party, adults don’t require any consolation prize. The reception is the thank you. That and a verbal thanks for coming on the day of is more than appropriate.
ETA To me edible favors are not really favors, per se, they are part of the menu.
Post # 15
I like the idea of throwing them in the welcome bags. If people don’t want them, they can get rid of them at the hotel instead of leaving them at the reception. Then you don’t have to directly deal with them and no hurt feelings if they aren’t a big hit.