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I wasn't sure where to put this post...so bear with me!
Does anyone else out there ever feel like they are a giant in a world of all things cute and petite? I'm not certain how to explain it, other than I have a large body frame...and sometimes it just really gets to me!
I'm not especially tall (5'6"), and according to charts I'm not technically overweight (136 lbs)....but parts of me just feel abnormally big and it is frustrating! For instance, I wear size 9.5-10 shoes. All the cute footwear styles out there seem to be less "cute" when they are in sizes that can fit my husband's feet. My ring size is right around a size 7.5-8. My chest is a 32DD, which makes bra shopping a pain, and finding tops that fit discouraging. My ankles? Well...we'll just say that my husband has daintier ankles than I do. I can't wear most zip-up women's boots out there, for the sheer fact that they won't go over my calves. I usually wear a size 8-10 in jeans, and it feels like there are so many people on here talking about their size 2, 4, and 6 wedding dresses. The only way I'll ever be a size 4 is if I'm skin and bones...because of the way that my bones just ARE (I've tried...the outcome wasn't good).
Somedays, I just feel like a mammoth.
Even at my smallest (I have a history of eating disorders that I've talked about before here), I never fit into anything smaller than a size 4. That was when I was skin and bones and unhealthy to the point of being in a hospital. I obviously don't want to go that route again, but sometimes it gets very frustrating to just "accept that you have a bigger frame." My family (aside from my mom) is all the same way...big, thick, German descent.
I realize I have a touch of body dysmorphia, and I am still getting help for eating disorder recovery (though I obviously don't look sick, the ill-thought patterns are something that take a long time to defeat). I just want to know that I'm not alone for feeling this way sometimes...that I'm not a complete dinosaur and it is possible to still dress nicely when stuck with such proportions.
Does anyone else out there have a large bone structure? Do you know of any famous females that have large frames? I guess it sounds dumb, but sometimes seeing that other women have larger frames but are still very pretty is a self-esteem boost. Any hints for how to dress to minimize things like a large chest and large calves? I know that everyone always says "people come in all shapes and sizes"...I just don't have any references to what my body type looks like when I see it on someone else, and not through my overly self-critical goggles...
Not at all. I'm big - 5'9" and weigh more than I care to admit. My chest is definitely a problem too! I don't mind my feet though. I mean, there's really nothing you can do about it. I'm glad you're getting help though!
@mrs_pugetsound: You're not! We sound simliar - I'm 5"5 and 145lbs, I don't consider myself overweight (though if one day I woke up 15lbs lighter I wouldn't complain), more on the curvy, athletic frame type. I have pretty broad shoulders and my arms are anything but dainty - I'd kill for slender arms. So, I pretty much avoid anything with spaghetti straps or straight sleeveless shirts - tank tops are the only thing I'll wear. I've found that shirts with v-cuts and scoop necks are more flattering on me - I avoid crew necks and boat cuts like the plague because them seem to accentuate my shoulders.
My legs are curvy, which I love in heels and a mini-skirt but look a little weird in skinny jeans. I tend to wear boot cut jeans because I find they even out my silhouette - flared jeans just accentuate my hips.
My mom's Japanese, but my dad is of German, English French descent and to my dismay anything petite and Asian (sorry, offensive generalization) passed me by so, I need to learn how to embrace my stocky genes.
Anyways, I'm sure you are beautiful. Don't worry, you are certainly not alone!
You're not alone!! I have the same problem! Calves are actually genetic so I have my dads huge calf muscles, it's ridiculous! I also wear a size 8 ring and Ive had a ghetto booty since I was like 6Ann's I have an abnormally large rib cage lol. It's so annoyingbecause my dress fits everywhere except my ribcage... No matter how much weight I lose those things willalways stay the same so I try not to worry about it! I am sure you are gorgeous the way you are!
I'm 5'11", so I'm constantly towering over most other women. And I definitely have hips. And at my height, I don't see how I could have anything but size 10 feet.
I have days where I wish I could be be about six inches shorter and feel "normal-sized." But then I'll go home, and my husband will tell me how very, very much he loves that I'm tall and how great it makes kissing me and dancing with me and so on.
It reminds me that I'm my own worst critic and that I can definitely see myself in a more negative way than others -- especially my husband -- see me. Him loving me like that has helped me to love myself more, and I'm really thankful for that.
I could stand to lose about fifteen pounds, but I'm not overweight. Like you, though, I have a massive chest, fat fingers, and the world's largest calves. It sucks when you can't find anything that's flattering because of larger bits and pieces of you. :(
You are not alone:) I am 5'9" and I run into some of those same problems. I have size 10 or 11 feet depending on the brand, and I feel like some of the shoe shop workers look at me like a freak of nature hahaha!
I'm more petite than you in the chest area (only a B cup) and I've always been relatively trim through the torso, but I have REALLY broad shoulders that make me look like I'm doing an Incredible Hulk impersonation when I try on shirts. Sleeves and pants are perpetually too short, and I don't even bother with off the rack suits.
Speaking of my shoulders...
When I was shopping for my wedding gown I tried on a halter top dress just so I could see every style. My shoulders are so broad I swear I looked like a linebacker lol. Good thing there wasn't a scout for the Vikings there otherwise they would probably have offered me a contract!
Oh and I forgot to mention that it doesn't help that FI is smaller than me. FML!
You're not alone! 5'5.5", 140 and I have to fight HARD to stay at that weight. The last time I weighed below 130, I was in middle school.
My feet are 8.5, ring is 7ish (8 when I eat a salty meal), and I have broad shoulders and hips. When I look at pictures of me next to people who I KNOW weight more than I do and who aren't in as good of shape as I am, I STILL Look bigger. I have a big head and a rib cage that sticks out, along with what my grandmother once referred to as "football player shoulders."
Maybe I have some BD too, but I know it's not all in my head. My ex was smaller than I was, and I've told FI that he must maintain a 20lb weight advantage over me at all times if he doesn't want me to get all skinny and lose my curves, lol.
You're not alone. :) Try to flaunt your features (I have a tiny waist, comparatively, and nice legs), take care of yourself, and that's about all you can do. I wish I had better advice for you.
ETA: My FI's biggest pet peeve? When I hate on all those tiny-framed b*tches that have features I'll never, ever have. No offense to all of you hot, small framed girls out there. Envy is flattery :)
Oh relief!! I was feeling like I was having another "crazy-mrs_pugetsound" moment!! Not to say that misery loves company, just to say that it is nice not to be the only one who has these feelings!!
I try to avoid sleeveless tops and skinny jeans, too. I love the advice for the different styles of tops to wear, PinkPandaBear!! My husband will ofter go shopping with me and pick out frilly little tops and skirts (to my dismay), and when I step out of the dressing room in them, I can tell from his reaction that it just doesn't look "right". I avoid skirts that show my legs like the plague. If ever there was a woman who had "cankles," that would be me. My calves go right into my ankles and are so thick! Ankle bracelets?? Haha! That would never, ever work on these ankles!!
When I see other people's similarly sized rings on smaller fingers, then I look down at my own and it makes me realize just how much bigger my fingers look than these other people's....gyah! It is frustrating!! I'll ALWAYS have big fingers though, no matter what I do!!
Thank you for your kind words, ladies...I know we're all beautiful in our own ways, some days it is just so hard to see it in yourself! :(
Also, if you're comfortable, post some pictures of yourself so that we can tell you all the lovely things about you that you can't see :)
Oh...and my husband is a pretty small guy too!! That definitely doesn't help!! He is 5'9" and about 170 (very fit because he is in the military), and it is odd to me that his jeans fit me, his jackets fit me, his shirts don't hang off me.....I've always dated much larger guys (I think subconsciuosly for this very reason!!). I want him to be able to pick me up and carry me around (ok...he is strong so he can, but it looks silly...and I fear that I am going to break his back when he does!). Instead, I'm the kind of girl who can give her man piggy back rides with no problem...we could switch off in relay races just fine!! LOL I guess I should embrace the Amazon Woman in me....
@mrs_pugetsound: lol! at 5'6", 136, I'll go ahead and pull the crazy card on you if you think it looks silly for him to pick you up. Your guy isn't tiny, and you're not huge... you're just normal-sized and he is too.
@bells219: LOL...well, he's within Navy standards, so I guess that does kind of mean he is average size. =P It is just that my ex's? Most were all over the 230lb range....big, beefy (not muscley) dudes so I could feel dainty and wee!!!! LOL
I feel totally out of whack - I'm 5'7 with a really large frame. (Gramma always said I had big bones lol) I have a long torso so my legs are that of someone who's 5'3. Regular shirts are too short and no way can I wear a one piece bathing suit. Not that I would. . .but you get my drift.
I always say God put me together with leftover parts.
I love the fact that FI is 6'2. Sometimes I feel tiny next to him, but we are usually the tallest couple in the room.
I have large bones as well, you aren't alone! I've never been smaller than a size 8 and even then I had lost all my curves and people were like "What happened?" Size 9 1/2 feet and 8 1/2 ring size. I'm 5ft 10in as well. I'll always be larger than petite ladies but honestly, I've learned to embrace it! When I do watch my weight and treat my self right with exercise, I have amazing curves and a beautiful hourglass shape!
@mrs_pugetsound: I totally understand - my DH is half a foot taller than me and we are the same weight! It drives me insane that his goal in life is to gain weight - I keep telling him he can just take mine. I haven't gotten up the courage to try on his clothes, because honestly, they probably won't fit and I will die of shame (Ok, maybe not that drastic, but you get the idea). It's amazing what the right cut of clothing can do!
@GroovyHippieChick: We must be related! I can never find shirts long aenough but pants are always too long.In addition, I have long slim fingers with large knuckles.
Right there with you, 5'10" size 10/12. I could stand to lose some weight, but still at skin and bones I still think I'd be a size 6. I hate any situation where I have to tell someone my weight. Even when I fuged down 10-15 lbs they still don't believe me, they think I must weigh much less. People forget that when you're tall with a larger frame you will weigh more even if you are thin.
I have the long torso as well. I wish the height was all legs, finding pants in long inseams isn't all that difficult, but trying to find tops for a long torso is tough espcially when you combine it with broad shoulders.Anyone else thankful that the long and tunic tops came into fashion? They're like regular shirts on me, haha.
The comment about being recruited for the vikinings in the halter wedding dress is funny. I was actually once randomly recruited in a book store by a crew coach for an elite team in high school while wearing a halter top.
I totally feel you! Even at my most in shape (ran 3 half marathons in 3 months), I was still wearing a size 10 in pants (due to my wide hips and big butt). Zip up boots are impossible with my calves and I wear size 9.5 shoes. I'm 5'6" with a 36F chest. No matter how in shape I get, I always feel big compared to those around me. I also have really broad shoulders and wear a size 7.5 ring on my left hand and a size 8.5 on my right.
I definitely got the big boned German heritage from my family.
Oh honey, when I saw your post I just had to comment. I'm right there with you, as are many others it seems! I'm 5/10ish, big hips, DD's, size 9 feet, size 8 ring, and just generally built a bit bigger than my gf's. What is strange is every other woman in my family is petite, petite, petite! I mean short, dainty, and pretty much the antithesis of myself. Genes are a funny thing, no?
And the women in my FI's family? Even smaller! I'm talking just brushing 5 feet, athletic frame, no curves, and very slim. I feel like a GIANT (in every sense of the word) next to them haha. However, one of my close gf's is built the same way as me, just a few inches shorter. We like to joke it's the viking blood in us that skipped a few generations. You just have to play up your differences! It can be tricky finding tops that don't look matronly and that you're not busting out of, but it can be done! I have a hellish time finding jeans long enough...but when I do I stock up haha.
I bet you would be surprised to hear what other people think of your body! I told my FSIL I wish I was as petite as she was and she just about took my head off saying she hates being so tiny and would kill to be taller. And, my FI has complained that he thinks his legs are too skinny and he tries to gain weight like someone else said their FI did too. Doesn't that drive you nuts? haha. But, I suppose the grass is always greener...etc.
I feel you! I'm 5'2" 125-130 depending on the day but German and Irish built. My shoulders are stronger than my SO's
I love the football player comments!! I think I'd feel pretty bad @$$ if someone tried to recruit me. ;) My most current comment was when buying shoes last week at the Buckle. The salesman was ringing up my purchase, and grabbed a bag for the box. He looks at the bag and says "I hope this one works...once we go up past a certain size shoe, we have to use our really big bags). Really? Well thanks! I don't need a bag for my gorilla-sized clodhoppers, so I'll just carry them and leave you and your tiny-toed customers with your small bags, thank-you-very-much.
I don't have many pictures of me that include my entire body (I try to avoid those). But I've put on at least 25 lbs since my DH met me 3 years ago.
What I feel like today:
I wonder if men are so hard on themselves in their internal monologues as we are on ourselves??
I'm 5'10.5 and my feet are a size 10, too. I'm plus sized, but even when I wasn't - I just have big wrists, big bones... I just feel BIG too. The thing is that I can see my ribs and I can see my hipbones, but I'm still BIG! I have really big "thunder thighs" so those combined with my large frame just make me feel huge.
I remember finding an old polaroid of my Mom, and she was so excited she put it on the fridge for motivation. I could see her collar bone, her cheeks were sunken - she looked anorexic for sure. I asked her how much she weighed there and she said 140.... so she just has BIG bones too. She looked like 85 pounds.
I hate it, but theres no changing my body. Even if I weighed 50 or more pounds less, I'd still have a huge skeleton and I would look even more awkward.
@mrs_pugetsound: You are SO gorgeous! Your ankles aren't tiny, but they're not ginormous either, and your legs are so smooth! No knee wrinkles or cellulite or anything.
Even 25lbs later, you have lovely collarbones- I notice them because I like my strong collarbones too. Being big boned has its advantages :) By the way, i think you look better at this weight... your shoulders are more in proportion to the rest of you.
And did your FI take that picture? I ask because I bet that's how he pictures you all the time... all beachy and sunset-lit- you look like you're in your element there.
Also- you can see me in some wedding dress posts I've made, but this is how I feel most of the time:
oh my lord! you're gorgeous!! I may call shenanigans on you for even starting this thread. 
I love the Homer muumuu episode!
@mrs_pugetsound: People see a tall thin frame when they see me but that's because I know how to dress to flatter my body. My shoulders are broad and my hips are about 3-4 inches less broad. Models think that is a good feature but I would do anything to have more hips. I think hips are womanly and sexy. I have DD boobs too and I would be happy with a C cup so I don't look like a porn star. I could never wear a tank top alone, I would cause a riot and look like a paid whore...lol. I'm not fat but losing too much weight makes me too thin. I enjoy looking like a woman, its a catch 22. I am thankful I am healthy and my body works but I would make a few changes if I could:0)
@mrs_pugetsound: You look fantastic! And I agree with the PP that I actually think you look better now (25 lbs later).
Eh...I'm not fishing for compliments. I just wanted to have an excuse to put up the "Homer Muumuu" picture. =P But thanks anyways. I feel healthier now (ie. actually have energy and my lady parts are functioning as they are supposed to again). But it is hard to get over the feeling of "logs for legs" and other various things. I always tease that, if ever I am on a business trip and for some strange reason there is an emergency potato-digging expedition on the side of the road, I will be the only woman in our group wearing heels who will not sprain her ankle. "I will NOT be sidelined by a tuber!!!!" Hooray for hearty, German, peasant-stock ankles. LOL
I think I may need help in knowing how to dress myself. It feels like all the fashions out there that are popular now just DON'T work for me. For instance, the cute tops with the belts around the waists or ribbons right under the bust line? They look just silly on me!! Or anything flowy or empire cut? Yep....I look preggers REAL quick that way. Tapered pants draw attention to the fact that I have large feet. Skirts that cut me off mid-calf draw attention to my leg issue. I feel like, aside from boot cut jeans and boxy teeshirts, there is nothing left I can wear. :(
ETA: God forbid shoulder pads ever come back in fashion. I really will just stay at home in a muumuu then!!
I hear ya. I'm 5'10 and wear a 36G. I was a swimmer and my dad always asks me if I was born with linebacker shoulders or if swimming did it to me. I hate having my picture taken because no matter what, I look big because of my chest and shoulders. I have to buy extra large jackets so I can fold my arms and forget about anything button down. I have size 4 fingers, but that's pretty much all that is small. I definitely did not inherit my mother's body. She's my height, a AA bra, and weighs 120 pounds.
Large bones.. yes! I feel like no matter what I do I will never be skinny, I will always be the average weight girl. My wrists are huge, so are my legs, hips, shoulders, and rib cage. I'm 5'4" and my ring size is a 7 on my ring finger. The other hand is like a 9 last time I checked!
I wish I could maybe add on a little height so I didn't feel so compact. Alas, I guess that is what platform shoes are for!! ;) I was online earlier today looking at "how to tell if you have a large body frame", and one trick was to measure the circumference of your wrist. I did it. 6.75 inches....yep, large frame! I guess since I was born a 10lb 8oz baby, it shouldn't be a surprise.
I used to get really frustrated with my body as well. My shoulders are broad, my boobs are small ( and slightly saggy now), I have big calves, stretch marks, skin problems, and a rather large head and nose. But the way I see it now, my shoulders are great for carrying shopping bags up 3 flights of stairs and a 2 year old around everywhere, my boobs are what nourished my son for a year, my calves help me run miles at a time. And after seeing how my son looks like me, and how special that is, I accept my genetics, because it is wonderful that I look like my father and mother. I have my mothers red streaks, but my fathers large nose. And I wear them both proudly now. I can't change it, unless I get plastic surgery, which I don't think I will ever do myself, so I have learned to not only accept it, but embrace it. Enduring motherhood, and being able to push myself running, I realized how strong my body is, and it might not be perfect, but it's healthy and I have finally come to accept the beauty in that.
I saw the pics you posted of yourself, and I think you look great, I really don't see your issues, honestly. I know first hand how much an eating disorder can cause body dysmorphia, so just know that when you are thinking those negative thoughts, it isn't real, it's just that terrible eating disorder talking.
Love yourself always, appreciate your body, it is capable of so many wonderful things. Size 4 or size 8, its just a size, don't fixate on it. Like you said yourself, you were killing yourself trying to be a size 4, and probably not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I am happy you are doing better health wise, now just kick those nasty thoughts to the curb for good, and accept yourself. Who cares if you have big feet, I would trade that in for your wonderful looking skin anyday!
@mrs_pugetsound: Who said you could use my photo!?!?! (Teasing...kind of).
I struggle with my body image every single day, after losing 120 pounds. Before as a size 24 I was confident and didn't really know how big I was. Now that I have seen what I used to look like in comparison to everyone else I am constantly wondering if I am the biggest person in the room at size 12/14. It is truely overwhelming and exhausting.
Why are we so hard on ourselves?
@Cash000: It is true...I guess we pick ourselves apart, but we should be looking for the grace in all our flaws. I never look at a woman on here and think that she is ugly (although, I may read something she has written and find her an ugly person because of her attitude!). It is just sometimes really hard to see yourself maybe how others see you.
@Treejewel19: I understand what you mean about your mind playing tricks on you regarding your size. I've been anywhere from 169lbs to 87lbs at my current height. I didn't realize until I was swimming in my clothes how big I maybe used to be in comparison...and then when I was gaining weight...well, I didn't realize how small I'd let myself become until I couldn't squeeze into my jeans anymore. In any given day, I feel like Alice in Wonderland. Unless your eating crazy, magical cakes or drinking odd potions, there is no realistic way to be 5 different sizes in a 5 minute period. But sometimes I see myself that way. I'll feel gigantic one minute, then I'm looking at a picture of myself the next and I'm thinking "Oh Lord, why didn't someone tell me I look like THAT in that outfit? I thought I was still small enough to wear that...." Why do our minds do that? So frustrating....
@redheadem: I chickened out and took them down. I'm a wimp. :)
All in all, I suppose it just comes down to: My jeans fit my genes differently than they'll ever fit anyone else's. And I just have to learn to be okay with that reality.
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